Week 6 Game Previews
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (1-1-0-2) at La Famiglia (1-1-1-1)
By La Famigilia Beat Reporter Bill Tucker
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
Game Notes
When asked about this week’s matchup, Elves co-captain Jenna Cruff growled, smashed a beer bottle against the side of Ace Bar’s Skeeball machine and threatened to slice my jugular. The adrenaline of her Keebler Kids handing Lbs their first loss in a 6 -1 drubbing was still pumping through her veins. After receiving medical attention from a homeless man named Bobo, I then asked Alfred Liu how he thought The Family was going to fare in their Week 6 matchup. In typical Alfred fashion, the La Famiglia captain politely informed me that I was talking to a Pac Man lunchbox in Ace Bar’s collector’s case and should stop drooling on the glass.
As a result of this journalistic disaster, I was unable to gather any pertinent info regarding this matchup. What I do know is that the Elves are finding their stride on both sides of the ball, spearheaded by Trevor “Two Fist” Beauclair’s offensive return to form. For the Yellow and Red, despite having only four points in as many contests, they are slowly regaining the swagger that made them the toast of the league one year ago. With the Elves coming off a decisive victory and La Famiglia looking to gain ground in the crowded Brown division, look for a tense matchup on the East courts. My pick? 4-3 in favor of the Pac Man lunchbox.
Editor’s Note: Even though La Famiglia is Bill’s beat we had to congratulate Jenna’s lovable band of winners on their victory last week. Clearly, if you’re going to have success in BTSH 2012 having a female captain is the way to go.
Watchability: 4 Inkys
What the Puck at Tompkins Square Riots
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
Game Keys: Pity the Riots. After suffering at the hands of Georgine “Fancy Hat” Poulin last week theirbounce back game is against the orange and blue juggernaut of WTP. The Puckers easily handled the SkyFighters last week thanks in no small part to the emotional boost they got from the return of their pal Sal. Mike “Woody” Woodsworth was openly crying with joy at the opportunity to play with a bald Italian again (missed opportunity Bratta. You could have got him to switch to MegaTouch during his moment of weakness). The Riots will have to take their cues from teammate Craig “Mellow Yellow” Thompson who’s Toronto Maple Leaf like indifference to final scores has made him one of the most reliable players in the league (however, his suggestion of writing a letter of apology to Riots fans after last week’s performance was summarily vetoed by Scott Townsend).
Gremlins at Filthy Gorgeous
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
Game Keys: It’s another grudge match this week as the former FGs go up against their old teammates. The Dirty Prettys know how to handle teams in yellow though. They took down La Famiglia in a shootout last week and they’ve vowed that this week’s result will be even more decisive. However, the Filthys strong early season start has been confusing to new addition Kristen Wise. “I thought we were supposed to lose the first eight games and then peak in the playoffs?” she asked an equally bemused Kamdyn Moore. Perhaps the Gremlins can take advantage of this disarray to get them back on track.
Denim Demons at Lbs. Inc
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
Game Keys: The Demons lost a very close game to their rivals, the Rainbows last week. The Lbs. also lost but their game was not exactly a tight one. Surprising because
a) The Lbs. have been on a roll.
b) Shaun DeLaZee claimed that the only voice he could hear the whole game was Jenna Cruff telling him to “Go hard or Go Chadwick”. We don’t know what it means either.
So two teams looking for redemption. Plenty of scoring threats on both sides but you’ve got to think that the LBs. years of playing together will give them the edge in this one.
Gur Rot at Mathematics
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
Game Keys: These are not the 2011 versions of these teams. Math has been the class of their division, thanks in large part to Laura “MacChrisNeal” MacNeil’s bodyguard work for Andy “EagleEye” Pratt. MacNeil took down the slam sisters last week and now she’s gunning for GutRot enforcer Mary “no relation” Pratt. But the Plus Oners may find this match much more challenging than expected. The Rotters took Poutine Machine to a shootout and played with more passion than Ryan Callahan on St. Patrick’s Day. Expect a tough matchup here.
One more thing. Derek’s new team cheer suggestion, “Math is hard!” may be his most offensive yet.
Rehabs at Gouging Anklebiters
By ORG Special Correspondent Monica Russo
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
Game Keys: Can I just say something? Something that all of y’all are thinking? The reason that there are so many ties/shoot-outs are because we have morphed into a league of blob-teams who are all at the same level, destined to win in shootouts forever and ever. We could make a horror(ish) movie about it–The Land Where Shutouts Never Happen or Something. Seriously. Look at last week’s recap. There are a lot of freaking shootouts.
Corlears Hookers at MegaTouch
by ORG Reporter at Large Abby Meisterman
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
Game Keys:
Editor’s Note: We were going to write a post welcoming Abby to the ORG reportng crew but since she’s late with her game preview, so no love for her.
Poutine Machine at Butchers
By Poutine Machine Beat Reporter Rich Glanzer
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
Game Keys: Before I get to my report, I have a bone to pick with Mrs. Green Card Giver herself, Monica Russo Larsen. Monica said, “Not NEARLY enough has been made of Georgine’s hattrick.” Well Monica, the reason is pretty simple. Georgine was good, but she wasn’t the story or First Star of the week. Humbly speaking, I was. I was like Babe Ruth, Mark Messier, and Joe Namath. I called my shot. I said I would get an assist to Trevor, and I did. I was behind my own net, Karstan stole the ball from me, Shaun made the save, it deflected off of me, went to Trevor and he went around four people for a breakaway goal. Hero. Me, not him. So that’s why no one cares about Georgine’s Chadtrick, because they were too busy congratulating me on my great assist. Now onto the preview.
This is a rematch of last years playoff. Both teams possess a strong defense, excellent goaltending, and a couple of really good scorers. Last season Poutine got a little frazzled, yelling at the refs and not focusing on the game. While I don’t foresee that to be a problem this Sunday, I also don’t foresee a Poutine victory. The Butchers are rolling, giving up only 4 goals in 4 games. I see a tight contest here, but in the end the the firepower of Georgine is too much, as they defeat our heroes 3-1.
BTW, congrats Georgine, that hat trick was pretty awesome and better than my measly assist. But I’ll never admit that publicly. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person. If she paid for one beer last week, the league and especially the Butchers should be ashamed of themselves.
Cobra Kai at Dark Rainbows
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
Game Keys: The Ex-Demons had a big win against the Demons last week but the Dojo also notched a “W” as well. Arguably, the CK victory was more significant as it was their first of the season. This also explains goalie Pete “Mutt” Lang’s sobbing, Rudy-like exclamations of “Oh, thank God” at the Ace Bar after the game. Will both teams fall prey to an emotional letdown? Mike and Abby’s debut of the Dudemeister line may help counteract the Rainbows ennui but Will Kuhn’s rallying cries of “Run like Eric Cantona” may be lost on some of the younger Karate Kids.
Fresh Kills at Sky Fighters
By Fresh Kills Beat Reporter Eli Kazin
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
Game Keys: Last week, Fresh Kills salvaged a point with a 3-2 shootout loss to the Corlears Hookers in a big Bratta Division showdown. The star of the day for the defending champions was forward Nick Hobbs, who was the only player to solve Shaun deLacy, netting both goals on Shaun deLacy, the Hookers’ emergency goalie. This week, Fresh Kills draws the Sky Fighters in the Hockey Night In Tompkins national telecast, if that still exists (otherwise, this is a rather nondescript late game). The Sky Fighters have struggled this season, with a 1-2-1 record through four games. Captain Dan Hopper’s greatest concern is his team’s defense, which is tied for the league lead with 15 goals allowed through four games and blew a 4-0 lead against Poutine Machine in Week 3. Hopper attributes his team’s defensive struggles to a combination of a tough opening schedule (LBS, Inc., Happy Little Elves, Poutine Machine, What The Puck) and inconsistent attendance from starting goaltender James Stein, who is preoccupied with his ongoing tour of the world’s airports. These teams faced off twice last season, with the Sky Fighters taking the season series (1-0 win, 1-1 tie), so if the Sky Fighters can find a way to clamp down defensively, Fresh Kills could suffer consecutive losses for the first time since 2010.