WEEKLY RECAP – 09 SEPTEMBER 2007
BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 09 SEPTEMBER 2007
by Eli Kazin
Welcome back everyone. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan [at] yahoo [dot] com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
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The Games
DON’T LOOK NOW, BUT THE DARK RAINBOWS ARE IN SECOND PLACE. Josh Wilson scored the lone goal of the shootout as the Dark Rainbows climbed into second place with a 2-1 victory against Fresh Kills. P.T. Walkley scored the only regulation goal for the Dark Rainbows, while Patrick Moore scored the lone goal for Fresh Kills, with an assist from Caroline Currie.
CON ED TURNS THE POWER ON. Ed Lau, also know as Con Ed, scored two goals, including the game winner, to lead the Rehabs past What The Puck, 4-2. Stacy Kehoe and Kami Moore played the entire game for the Rehabs, who also received goals from Brian Wong and Jon Feldman. Anthony Romeo recorded 34 saves for the Rehabs in the victory, while Brian Vroom scored both goals for What The Puck.
THE NATURE BOY HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY HOCKEY. With Ellery ‘The Nature Boy’ Gillette absent, the Denim Demons carried on and defeated Pork Fried Rice, 2-1. Gillette chose to watch his Washington Redskins defeat the Miami Dolphins, but managed to appear, wearing a Mike Sellers jersey, at the Johnson’s after the game. Jeff Kamen scored both goals for the Denim Demons, while Brian Barrett scored the lone goal, a sick backhanded shot that went topshelf, with under 2 minutes left in the game, for Pork Fried Rice.
DUTCH WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE HAS RETURNED. Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney scored four goals, including the game winning goal, as the Corlears Hookers routed the Sky Fighters, 10-1. The Corlears Hookers also received two goals each from Anshu Sinha and Gavin Kearney (you know, Dutch’s brother), and one goal each from Jason Eitel and Albert ‘Al’ Huang. Martin Cejka scored the lone goal for the Sky Fighters, who, despite the lopsided score, had a fair tally of quality scoring chances, involving two new female players on a number of impressive plays.
PLEXIGLASS STOPS EVERYTHING. Minkus registered his first shutout of the season as the Tuques blanked Mexican Standoff, 4-0. It should be noted, however, that Minkus played the entire game with a sheet of clear plexiglass positioned in front of the goal mouth, which may have contributed to his flawless performance. The goal scorers for the Tuques were Bill Monahan, Caroline Johnston, Dean Keyworth, and Todd Robertson.
THE MIGHTY SQUIRRELS RECORD HAS BEEN REARRANGED TO REFLECT ANOTHER LOSS. Despite the stellar goaltender of Eric Breitman, the first game appearance of 2007 for Jason ‘Cheek’ Cheek (like this: points to cheek), and pregame trash talk that Rachel ‘A-Korn’ Greene would rearrange the face of Alex ‘Villano VI’ Zabala, the Unicorns emerged with a 2-1 victory against the Mighty Squirrels, as Aaron Mullan scored the only goal of the shootout. Sara Pourghasemi scored the only regulation goal for the Unicorns, while former Unicorn Jesse Kalb scored the lone goal for the Mighty Squirrels.
THERE IS A FIFTY PERCENT CHANCE HIS NAME IS SPELLED WRONG. Joe Pereira scored the game winning goal with three minutes remaining in regulation as Filthy Gorgeous beat Cobra Kai, 2-1. Liza Watts also scored for Filthy Gorgeous, while Brian ‘The Flashlight’ Morrison scored the lone goal for Cobra Kai.
WATCH OUT FOR LBS. Karsten Pitchon scored three goals, Fernando Limonic chipped in two, and Samuel Anthony and Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin each added one goal, as LBS defeated the Gouging Anklebiters, 7-3, for their fifth consecutive victory. For the Gouging Anklebiters, Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri scored two goals and Charles DeFranco had one goal.
THE BAD TOUCH HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF THE COMEBACK. The Bad Touch scored three goals in the final ten minutes, their fourth come-from-behind victory of the season, to defeat the Mathematics, 4-3. Shannon Roddy scored the game winning goal with two minutes remaining in regulation on a shot that was slowed by the Math goalie, but dribbled through, and the Bad Touch also received two goals from Danny Canarick and one goal from Scott Rosenthal. Bradley Schmidt (two) and Noam Dolgin (one) were the goal scorers for the Mathematics, who also received full fifty-minute efforts from Laura MacNeil and Georgine ‘Mulva’ Paulin.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag [at] gmail [dot] com)
Roderick Cruz of What The Puck is now Guy LeDouche.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/guy.jpg)
Ray Chan of Cobra Kai is now Domino.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/domino.jpg)
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Unsung Hero of the Week
The unsung hero for this week is Lisa Harrington of the Tuques, who was playing with a ruptured disc in her back. The Tuques only had three females in uniform, so Harrington had to play a large balance of the game.
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News and Notes
In the last report, the Denim Demons were credited with a 4-1 victory against the Bad Touch, but the final score from that game was actually 5-1. Also, Molly Jacobs was listed as the only female in attendance for LBS, but teammate Alexandra Chenitz was also present to cheer on her team, despite being unable to play in the game due to an injury….Shannon Roddy of the Bad Touch and Jason Eitel of the Corlears Hookers each scored their first BTSH goal….Jeffrey Hendricks of Mexican Standoff may be receiving a bill from the league office for one orange ball in the near future, as in the waning moments of his game, he proceeded to slip and fall on the court, grab the ball in play, and launch it over the fence in the direction of the FDR Drive….(he was arrested, arraigned and is serving a 30-month sentance at Rikers for “silly sports antics” – ed.) Special thanks to Albert ‘Al’ Huang and Chris “No Nickname Yet” Eng for helping Bob ‘Olmec’ Weyersberg paint the creases and set up the goals….Congratulations to Andy Pratt and Sarah Coombs of the Mathematics on their recent nuptials. (Bob W. reffed his 100th official BTSH game, to the encouraging cheers of, “That was a F*%ING GOAL, you blind F@&CK!” and “If you sucked any more, you’d put Hoover out of business!” He was humbled by the expressions of adulation. -ed.)
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Upcoming Schedule
September 16th, 2007
2pm Corlears 2 GAME OF THE WEEK Mathematics (6-7-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-10)
– While there may be better matchups this week, these two teams have a complex and linked history. Add in that both components of the league media transferred from Cobra Kai to the Mathematics during this season, and this should be a very intense game.
1pm Corlears 2 Mexican Standoff (4-10-0-1) vs. Bad Touch (7-8)
2pm Corlears 1 LBS (8-7) vs. Pork Fried Rice (9-6)
2pm Corlears 2 Mathematics (6-7-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-10)
3pm Corlears 1 What The Puck (11-4) vs. Unicorns (10-2-2-1)
3pm Corlears 2 Gouging Anklebiters (4-11) vs. Rehabs (7-6-1)
4pm Corlears 1 Corlears Hookers (13-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (11-3-0-1)
4pm Corlears 2 Fresh Kills (8-5-0-2) vs. Tuques (6-9)
5pm Corlears 1 Denim Demons (10-4-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (8-6)
5pm Corlears 2 Mighty Squirrels (3-10-0-2) vs. Sky Fighters (1-14)