Archive for the ‘general interest’ Category
The Indefatigable Rich Glanzer
Thursday, August 12th, 2010An Unauthorized Biography
By “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick and Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (with supplementary material by Dr. Byron Clavicle, DDS, LDS, NIMBY, and BTO)
The Early, Canine Years
Rich Glanzer was born on February 30, 1957 in Southampton, New York, the child of Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe. Controversy came immediately when the nurse told him he was “such a cute baby,” and he disagreed. Refusing even to cry, he announced a boycott of the hospital and crawled off into the woods. There, he was raised by a pack of coyotes who taught him everything he knows about diplomacy, a skill he still uses today.
Calisthenics With Rubens
Sunday, July 11th, 2010With the Denim Demons off to another hot start in the 2010 season, all of BTSH is studying their every move in order to glean what has been working so well for them. While captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens has steadfastly refused to divulge any of his in-game strategy, he has been gracious enough to provide a handy guide to pre-game calisthenics.
“Any good stretching regimen should take approximately 20-30 minutes. Although the focus of your routine should be on the legs, young players are reminded to hit all parts of the body.”
Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer
Monday, July 5th, 2010The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.
While everyone knows I like to stay quiet and not comment much, I feel the need to speak up about a miscarriage of justice. Before I speak of this injustice, I want everyone to know how much this hurts me to say, since the two people that have besmirched our beloved BTSH, I used to consider friends.
Adriano Bratta and Ben Chadtrick (Chadwick) are both in the Survivor Pool. However, in Week 5, they, along with Jesse Kalb all lost. When it happened, I, along with the rest of the league, figured there would be no winner, and the champion would revert back to whoever won last. And that just so happens to be me.
There is precedence in this approach. If the three teams involved all tie, the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup is awarded to the team that held it the previous season. So, since all three players lost in Week 5, they should have all been eliminated, and I, Hockey Rich, should have been deemed champion once again.
But because BTSH turncoats Derek and Eli run the Survivor Pool, they decided to make up their own rules, and screw me of my deserved title.
I have to say that the original winner, Abby Meisterman, and I are true champions. We wouldn’t accept taking the title if we actually lost. Adriano and Ben are not worthy champions. They are only worthy of our league-wide scorn.
Good Day!!
Guest Columnist: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens
Monday, May 31st, 2010The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.
World Cup Primer
Background: The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on Earth. Bigger than the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Ten times bigger than the Super Bowl. And this year, it’s projected to narrowly edge out the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in total viewership, tickets sold, and Jäger shots consumed in a fit of euphoric cheer and obliviousness to later side effects.
The qualification process for this summer’s four week bazaar has already taken place over the last three years, with some teams traveling more than 20,000 miles. This process (which takes longer than riding the G train from Williamsburg to Park Slope) weeds out some of the lesser teams and brings the best 32 into the tournament. Naturally, I’m still perplexed at how Papua New Guinea just missed out on this year’s tournament.
Kelly Buchanan Fundraiser / NHL 94 Tourney
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010Sunday, June 6th (Click here to pre-register)
Remember when learning a sports video game was easier than learning how to fly an airplane? Remember when the words Super Mario made us think of 100 point seasons not just tortoise shells and mushrooms. It’s time to return to that era for a little old school video game action via Electronic Arts NHL ’94.
On June 6th BTSH will be holding a NHL ’94 charity tournament at the East Village Tavern for Kelly Buchanan. For those of you who don’t know, Kelly suffered a traumatic brain injury while playing street hockey. The effects of her injury have been profound and long lasting and she needs our help. To read more about Kelly’s injury, please visit her website www.kellybuchanan.com.
