Archive for the ‘general interest’ Category
2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 6)
Monday, January 26th, 2015As a recap, the following competitors are still in the ring*: Jonathan Brügger, Marisa Cohen, Jennifer Popack, Julie Katz, Jenna Cruff, Sascha Puritz, Adam Rubens, “John” Sena, Sam Norris, Dani Rylan, and Rachel Nabatz.
*Luisa was briefly in the ring to help eliminate Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, but since she is not an official entrant, referee Aaron Friedman forced her to exit the ring area.
***35th Entrant: Jerry Chavez, Gut Rot***
Jerry receives a warm ovation from the fans as he runs down to the ring. He immediately starts to go after some of the former GPGs, just in case they develop any notions of reforming. The strategy pays off, as he is able to take advantage of being the fresh man and disposes of Sascha rather quickly.***Sascha Puritz has been eliminated***
Jerry continues to clean house and is beginning to look like the new favorite to take this thing. However, he then eyes Brügger, who has been in the Rumble since it started. Clearly, to have a chance at winning, Jerry is going to have to go through Brügger. The two stand face to face in an epic stare down. Jerry shoves Brügger, who nearly tumbles backwards over the rope. Jerry continues to push him, and Brügger is now over the top rope standing on the ring apron. One more good shove, and the man who’s been in this the longest will be history. At that moment, Springsteen’s “Born to Run” starts playing over the loudspeaker. Who could this be?
(more…)2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 5)
Friday, January 23rd, 2015As a recap, the following competitors are still in the ring*: Jonathan Brügger, Marisa Cohen, Jennifer Popack, Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, Julie Katz, Craig LaCombe, Jenna Cruff, Sascha Puritz, Hector Melendez, Adam Rubens, and “John” Sena.
*Stephanie Cooper was last mentioned as supporting the Canadians from ringside. We’re assuming she left some time after they were all eliminated. If anyone sees her please let us know.
***30th Entrant: Jamie Abcdefghijklmnopqursuvwxyz (Gremlins)***
Jamie walks into the ring as the entrants now realize they are all in this alone. Suddenly, $h0wT!m3 looks at Craig, they both look at Jamie, and the three politely ask Jerome and his mini Philippine flag to move from the middle of the ring so they can speak to the crowd. $h0wT!m3 says, “The Canadians have been destroyed, the GPGs are decimated, and now the most dominant faction in the history of BTSH is back: The Goalie Union!”
2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 4)
Thursday, January 22nd, 2015***25th Entrant: Adam Rubens, Denim Demons***
Much like his teammate Jenn, Rubens is taunted mercilessly by the fans as he walks down the aisle. Rubens walks into the ring and notices Alex reffing. He starts complaining that Alex isn’t a fair ref. He picks up the mic and calls out League Commissioner Tim Brown. Rubens tells Tim that Lena doesn’t feel safe with Alex reffing. Tim, still hurting from the Bodyslam by Brügger©, is in no mood and reminds Adam that Lena isn’t in the Rumble. Adam says maybe she’s the surprise entrant but Tim tells him Becky Norris is the surprise entrant. Brügger is infuriated there was no spoiler alert and picks Tim back into the ring. Marisa sees Tim and swoons. She never thought she would get over Denis but now she has. Brügger tosses Tim out of the ring. Marisa goes into a corner to write in her diary, wondering if she will ever find love again.
***Tim Brown is eliminated (again)***
2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 3)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2015***20th Entrant: Corey Winters, What The Puck***
The crowd cannot believe it as Corey enters. All the fighting stops as the Most Respected Man in BTSH picks up the mic. He looks around sadly as his Canadian and American friends continue to bloody each other. The fighting stops, and Winters finally begins to speak, “I came here tonight, and I didn’t know what to expect. I seen a lot of people hate each other, and I didn’t know what to feel about that… In here, there were a bunch of guys killing each other, but I guess that’s better than 20 million. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!” The crowd bursts into applause as he finishes speaking. The fighters all have tears in their eyes and go in for a massive embrace in the middle of the ring.
However, it is in this instant that Julie, Jenna, Cherie and Jenn all nod at each other and combine to throw Olivier out of the ring. Corey’s speech destroyed the Canadian movement and has given rise to a new, more powerful group: GIRL POWER!
***Olivier Brassard has been eliminated***

Olivier’s elimination is a dark moment for Canada…so sad, in fact, that Josh-Sadlier Brown flees from ringside openly weeping for his fallen brethren. Olivier meant the world to him, and he vows revenge on the ladies.
2015 BTSH Royal Rumble (Part 2)
Tuesday, January 20th, 2015***11th Entrant: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, Happy Little Poutine Machine***
The crowd is hot as the Canadians are dominating the Americans. All of a sudden Jerome’s music hits. All of the wrestlers stop fighting and stare at Jerome, who is carrying a mini Philippine flag. After a few seconds of bewilderment at what to do, the Canadians start fighting the Americans again, but Jerome’s distraction, combined with “the damned numbers game,” allows the Americans to take control.
***Stephanie Cooper runs to ringside with a Molson Beer***
(more…)