Archive for the ‘League Notes’ Category
Week 20 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009The Alpha Male Is Probably Winning The Assists Race
With just two weeks remaining in the regular season, the race for the 2009 BTSH scoring title is nearing a conclusion. Here are the top contenders for this coveted honor, which guarantees one pull from the Mystery Box at the end of season awards ceremony:
5. Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, Sky Fighters (18 goals): As the only defenseman in the top five, Martin is a bit of a dark horse in the scoring race. He will have a good opportunity to catch up this weekend when he faces Mexican Standoff, a team that is second to last in goals allowed. However, the Sky Fighters end the season against the Unicorns and the solid goaltending of Craig “Ug” LaCombe. Odds of winning: 50-1.
4. “Gentleman” James Pereira, Filthy Gorgeous (18 goals): James will have to score nine goals just to tie the league leader, but he may have an outside shot given his team’s remaining games. This Sunday, he faces the Tuques, who have allowed 15 goals in their last three games, and he closes the season against Mega Touch, who have allowed the third most goals in BTSH. Odds of winning: 40-1.
3. Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, What The Puck (20 goals): If not for a severe ankle injury in the middle of the season, Adriano would be towards the top of (if not leading) the pack. Unfortunately, after missing several games, the defending scoring champion still has a lot of ground to cover. What The Puck finishes the season against the Happy Little Elves and Mathematics, two teams with losing records, so catching up is not an impossibility. Odds of winning: 25-1.
2. Jason Eitel, Corlears Hookers (21 goals): Despite putting up five goals against Mexican Standoff in week 17, Jason has not found the back of the net in the Hookers’ last three games. The biggest factor in his favor is that he may have a game in hand on most of his competitors. The Corlears Hookers are still negotiating with LBS, Inc. to reschedule their game from week 18. Odds of winning: 15-1.
1. Karsten Pichon, LBS, Inc. (27 goals): The scoring race is clearly Karsten’s to lose. He has a six-goal cushion on his nearest competitor and, like Eitel, may also have a third game remaining. If Eitel does manage to close the gap, this elusive makeup game could be very instrumental in deciding the scoring champion. Odds of winning: 1-3.
Week 19 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009Hey Kiddies…
For the second season in a row, the media hosted the BTSH East-West All-Star Classic, pitting teams from opposite sides of the East River against each other. The East, looking to avenge its loss in 2008, jumped to an early 1-0 lead, as the extremely dangerous $howT!m3-Mungo duo struck the first blow of the contest. The teams then exchanged goals, as the game see-sawed for the remainder of the first half, which ended in a 2-2 tie. However, the West dominated the second, with Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous) and Jefferson (Mexican Standoff) scoring quickly to provide a two-goal cushion. Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch) continued the onslaught with a goal of his own and celebrated by leaping onto the dugout fence behind the goal, where he was warmly received by his Mega Touch teammates. Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics) added another goal for the West just a few minutes later and attempted to duplicate MacGregor’s celebration. Unfortunatley, the entire Mega Touch section remained seated, prompting East co-coach Stacy Kehoe (Rehabs) to declare the spectacle “the saddest celebration in BTSH”. The West ultimately won 8-2.
Once again, the contributions of the coaches buoyed the enjoyment of the afternoon. West co-coach Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons) donned an electric lime track suit, headband, and sunglasses in an homage to New Jersey culture. The other West co-coach, Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics) came dressed as a “douchebag real estate agent” (her words) to represent her home borough of Manhattan. In addition, Paulin provided a sack of chocolate gold for her team as an incentive to win. East co-coach Rich Glanzer did nothing to help his team win. In fact, he even tried playing a shift in the second half, resulting in yet another goal for the West (and a -1 for Glanzer).
At the conclusion of the game, several players participated in an impromptu shootout (although this had NO bearing on the game’s result). Some of the highlights included Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker’s pre-attempt flip and perfect landing, a salute to “Thriller” before Ariel Imas’ shot, and Susannah’s goal off of a multi-teammate screen. However, upon further review, Susannah’s goal has been disallowed due to the fact that teammate Rob “Mungo” Gorden was in the crease.
All Star Teams Announced!
Thursday, September 10th, 2009Come For The All-Stars, Stay Despite Hockey Rich
After the West squad’s convincing 4-1 win last season, the East will be looking to even the series in their 2009 contest. In an effort to revitalize the squad from last year’s defeat, Rich Glanzer and the extremely photogenic Stacy Kehoe replace former East coaches Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and Monica Russo. The new tandem is already very optimistic as Glanzer and Kehoe will have some of BTSH’s top players at their disposal. Forwards Ben, Susannah, and Arthur Revechkis will lead the scoring attack, while Peter “Purple Rain” Putka and Amy Jones anchor the defense. In addition, Glanzer and Kehoe will coach two of the league’s most feared enforcers in Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher and Libby Hartle-Tyrrell. However, the West has also made some enhancements, as the team looks to maintain its dominance. Co-coaches Steve Chernoski and Georgine “Mulva” Paulin take over for Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Rachel “A-Korn” Greene with high hopes of continuing their legacy. Chernoski, a defender himself, is thrilled to have several of BTSH’s premier players on his blue line, most notably Sam Anthony, Courtney McBride, and Adam Robertson. A goon at heart, Paulin is also excited, as she will have several gritty forwards to utilize, including Ariel Imas, Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton, and Will Kuhns.
Sadly, for the second season in a row, Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon was not selected to participate in this game. Those who were selected, however, are listed after the jump.
Week 18 News and Notes
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009Hello Czech Republic!
As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we, the writers, thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:
1. While the bulk (96%) of site traffic comes from the United States, one of the highest ranked foreign sources is the Czech Republic with nearly 20 visits in the last month. Undoubtedly, this can be attributed to Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s large following in his fatherland. However, a more interesting trend may be that Uganda ranks directly behind the Czech Republic with approximately 16 visitors. We speculate that this trend can be attributed to Jason Eitel’s large following in his fatherland.
2. Unsurprisingly, more than 90% of the site’s New York state visits are from New York City. The next three highest locations all come from western Suffolk County (Ronkonkoma, Yaphank, and Brentwood) and account for a combined 4%. According to league registration records, a certain Happy Little Elf, who is one of the site’s most frequent commenters, happens to reside and work in this region.
3. The top keywords that have brought people to the BTSH site are as follows: “btsh”, “btsh.org”, and “btsh tuques”. Clearly, the “Tuques hockey.” marketing campaign has worked, as the team is now one of the hottest trends on btsh.org. Already, a “Cobra Kai hockey.” campaign is in the works for next season.
4. The title for most searched individual on btsh.org belongs to the Rehabs’ own Stacy Kehoe, the namesake for the Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace. The following keywords all made the top 20 searches (in rank order): “stacy kehoe new york,” “stacy kehoe btsh,” “stacy kehoe pics,” and “stacy kehoe.” We can only imagine what type of “stacy kehoe pics” one might be searching for, but if nothing else, we do recommend the photo from the 2008 Week 3 Box Scores. Other high-rated Rehabs searches include “chantel arroyo,” “btsh rehabs,” and “romeo goalie rehabs.”
5. Although league veteran Zack Tinkelman of the Denim Demons ranks nowhere near the top keyword searches, his father, Joe Tinkelman, cracks the top 25. In fact, he ranks as the most popular Demons-related search, almost doubling the next in line, “chernoski.”
Week 17 News and Notes
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009All-Star Game Coming Soon!
On September 13, 2009 at 5:30 PM, the BTSH media will host the second annual East-West All-Star Classic. Once again, BTSH’s biggest and brightest stars from Queens, Brooklyn, and Long Island will comprise the East squad, while Manhattan, the Bronx, and New Jersey will fill out the West. Under this unique format, players will sacrifice their team allegiances in the name of regional pride.
In the inaugural East-West battle, Phil “Sandy” Donohue and Rachel “A-Korn” Greene coached the Western squad to a 4-1 victory over Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens and Monica Russo’s Eastern team. However, despite the competitive nature of the game, the Peaches Party Patrol kept the mood jovial with its usual assortment of food and beverages, which are once again expected this year. Sadly, due to prior commitments, Filthy Gorgeous’ Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon is not expected to participate in this season’s event.
If you are interested in coaching your respective side of the river, please contact either Derek or Eli.
