Archive for the ‘League Notes’ Category
Week 11 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009Neck Hole Not Included
Ant’s New Shirt Was Conspicuously Missing
Although What The Puck may play like a well-oiled machine, the team hasn’t been on the same page fashion-wise all season. Primarily due to captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s crafty offseason acquisitions, the team has been forced to wear a fairly random assortment of semi-orange team uniforms. Some of the more humorous variations on the WTP shirt have been Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr.’s faded Islanders t-shirt, Zimmer’s bright orange Carlos Beltran mock jersey, Michelle Doucet’s $4 Wal-Mart generic, Adriano Bratta’s blinding day-glo top, and Ollie Hartman’s Teaches Hoops shirt he found in a Salvation Army.
Always quick to respond to team problems, Mad Dog took it upon himself to design a new look for his squad. Larry’s hot new style (termed “Version 9.0”) includes the usual orange and blue coloring with “WHAT the PUCK?” written across the front. “9.0” (signifying the team’s ninth season) is displayed in the bottom left corner. The new duds were so popular, even the injured players on the sidelines adorned them. Sadly, with What the Puck’s surprising loss to the Unicorns, the team is now 0-1 in their new jerseys.
Week 10 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009Abby Gives Herself Two Thumbs Up
Mighty Squirrels FTW!
Congratulations to Abby Meisterman of the Denim Demons for winning the inaugural BTSH Media Survivor Pool. Over the course of 10 grueling weeks, she managed to outlast 18 of BTSH’s most cunning and crafty individuals (and Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli). Here is Abby’s formula for success:
Week 1: Sky Fighters defeat Mega Touch, 7-2
Week 2: Filthy Gorgeous defeats Mega Touch, 5-0
Week 3: Fresh Kills defeats Tuques, 5-1
Week 4: Denim Demons defeat Mexican Standoff, 4-3
Week 5: All games cancelled due to “rain fears”.
Week 6: Rehabs defeat Mega Touch, 2-1
Week 7: Unicorns defeat Mega Touch, 2-1
Week 8: Dark Rainbows defeat Mighty Squirrels, 2-1
Week 9: LBS, Inc. defeats Mexican Standoff, 5-2
Week 10: Mighty Squirrels defeat Mega Touch, 4-0
Ironically, the closest Abby came to being eliminated was in week 4, when she picked her own team. That week, the Demons rallied from a two-goal deficit with 10 minutes remaining in regulation, allowing Abby to remain in the pool. Also of note is the fact that she won the pool without ever picking What The Puck or the Corlears Hookers, which are normally two of the safest bets. As the winner of this competition, Abby is entitled to write a post for btsh.org on any topic she chooses. It is tentatively scheduled to be posted on Wednesday, June 24.
Week 9 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 9th, 2009Why Is Adriano Winking At Me?
Hopefully, Cobra Kai Doesn’t Have Any Loose Photos Of The Media
For the first time since his free agent signing with What The Puck, former Cobra Kai member Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta took on his former team on Sunday. Still upset at the 2008 regular season scoring champion for deserting the team, the Kais had some tricks up their sleeves for Bratta. On the second shift of the game, the Dojo unveiled its “5 Adrianos” formation, consisting of five players all with cutouts of Muscles’ face poorly taped to their chests. Captains Enayet “Retail” Rasul and Greg “Lysol” Altman even convinced stand-in goalie Minkus to partake in the charade. Although the mind games worked well enough to hold Bratta to only one goal, What The Puck still won the game 7-3 or 8-3, depending whom you ask.
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Week 8 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009Harmon’s New Shirt Looks Very Much Like His Old One
Form And Function
No longer content with displaying simple mathematical functions across their chests, the Mathematics unveiled a new, advanced jersey line on Sunday. After years of sporting shirts with only addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division signs, the Mathematics added exponents and square roots to their repertoire. In addition, a special “black out” jersey (bearing the same new logos) was also commissioned as an occasional alternate uniform. Like their predecessors, the new shirts received rave reviews throughout BTSH. One league member, Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens, was quoted as saying, “If Mathematics shirts were on sale, I would totally buy one.”
Week 7 News and Notes
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009All Right, All Right, All Right!
Party At The Moon Tower!
To cap off a great day of hockey, a hastily arranged party was held at the BTSH Moon Tower. Although the party was originally scheduled to take place at Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri’s parents’ apartment, as they were out of town for the weekend, the event had to be moved when they arrived home early. As a result, numerous BTSHers swarmed to the secluded location in the forest to enjoy good times and free beer. The highlight of the party was clearly league philanderer Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett, who could be seen canoodling with many of the younger females in attendance. As he left the party, one lucky young lady received an invitation from him to see Aerosmith in a few weeks.
However, the party was not all fun and games, as a donnybrook broke out towards the end of the evening. To prove his manhood, Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer picked a fight with the toughest person in attendance, Heidi “The Maple Leaf Muscle” Karst. Although Coop surprised The Muscle with the first punch in hopes the fight would be broken up quickly, he was pummeled when no one came to his rescue.
The Dark Rainbows were not seen at the party, but they later claimed to have been “at a different moon tower”.
