Archive for the ‘Weekly Previews’ Category
Week 6 Preview
Thursday, May 7th, 2009The Sky Fighters Are Hungry For A Win
GAME OF THE WEEK
Sky Fighters (3-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (3-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 3-2
Game Notes: After a successful 2008 campaign, the Sky Fighters have continued to wow a once skeptical BTSH crowd. They have won three of their first four games, with the lone blemish coming at the hands of the What The Puck juggernaut. Under the smashmouth approach of captains Amy Lott and Dan Hopper, their staunch defense has only yielded seven goals so far this season, highlighted by holding What The Puck to its lowest one game total. Unlike the rising Sky Fighters, the Dark Rainbows have been perennial contenders for several seasons. After a season opening loss, they have won their last three games in a row and seem poised to once again finish towards the top of the standings. They boast an extremely balanced and deep offensive attack, as their 12 goals have been scored by seven different players. The outcome of this Schloeder Division game will likely hinge on whether the Sky Fighters’ vaunted defense can hold the Rainbows’ multi-dimensional offense in check.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite the Sky Fighters claims otherwise, defender Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka is the primary component of their offensive attack. His seven goals represent half of their total scoring.
2. Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell’s transition back to offense has gone swimmingly. He now leads the Rainbows in scoring with three goals.
3. Dark Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds is brimming with confidence. He boasts, “We wear pink and it’s Mother’s Day. How can we lose?”
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. Sean’s logic works for me.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Sean’s logic would work better for me if their jerseys weren’t faded to white.
Week 5 Preview
Thursday, April 30th, 2009Monica Has Jesus On Her Side
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (2-2) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (4-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1-1
Game Notes: The Unicorns enter this Woodsworth Division matchup on the heels of a stunning loss to the mildly popular Happy Little Elves. Of greater concern than the loss itself, however, was that their normally potent offense was held scoreless. Despite this loss, the Unicorns will retain possession of the extremely prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup, largely due to a huge week 1 victory against the Dark Rainbows. While Filthy Gorgeous does not possess any cup, the team does possess the highest scoring offense in BTSH, with 26 goals in four games. Half of their goals have come off the sticks of “Gentleman” James Pereira (7) and Sunny Mehra (6). They now sit atop the standings, tied with fellow Woodsworth Division rival, What The Puck. The Unicorns’ fast-paced offense has the potential to upset even the toughest of teams in BTSH, but it will need to be firing on all cylinders to defeat a front-running Filthy Gorgeous team.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Unicorns’ offense will look to Chris, as he now leads the team with four goals on the season. More important, he also leads the team in smiles and general good-naturedness.
2. Filthy Gorgeous goalie Dan “D.O.” Owens already has a shutout to his credit and has only allowed just five goals in three games. However, his numbers are trending in the wrong direction as his GAA has increased with each game. Owens will need to reverse this pattern for Filthy to be successful.
3. Although the uniform has been labeled one of the ugliest in the history of BTSH, captain Monica Russo has ordered her teammates to wear their throwback, electric lime jerseys from 2006. It is clearly not a coincidence that these jerseys bear an eery resemblance to those of the Happy Little Elves, the team that defeated the Unicorns last week. Of course, Monica would never be that devious…
Eli’s Pick: Happy Littles Elves Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. Wow! A game of the week involving Filthy with no mention of Ashy Larry. Oh, wait…
Week 4 Preview
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009“We’re Going To Score This Many Goals!”
GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (3-0) vs. Fresh Kills (2-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 7-6-1
Game Notes: When these two teams last met, Fresh Kills upset What The Puck in double overtime in the quarterfinals of the 2008 playoffs en route to their eventual championship. However, this devastating loss only stiffened What The Puck’s resolve for this season, as they have put up 19 goals through three games, while only allowing one. Newcomers Sal Malguarnera and Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta have combined for eight of these tallies. After opening this season with a loss, Fresh Kills has regained its championship form with two consecutive victories. Although they have only put up 10 total goals thus far, the attack has been spread out, as seven different players have their name on the scoring ledger. With a fired up What The Puck squad looking to avenge its 2008 postseason elimination, Fresh Kills will need the help of everyone on its roster.
Keys To The Game:
1. Fresh Kills forward Dave Sokolyansky notched three goals, including the game winner, in last year’s playoff game against What The Puck. He’s one of the fastest players on the court and can test even the stiffest of defenses.
2. As veteran Corey “Chongo” Winters continues to recover from an injury, What The Puck will look to fellow veteran Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth to step up his game and leadership abilities.
3. With What The Puck’s regular goalie Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz missing the past two games for Lamaze class, captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has taken matters into his own hands. He has locked Cruz in the team’s goalie bag and will not open it until five minutes before game time.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Corey’s never wrong.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. Let’s just hope Mad Dog remembers to leave a few air holes.
Week 3 Preview
Thursday, April 16th, 2009It’s Always A Good Time In The Schloeder Division
GAME OF THE WEEK
Mighty Squirrels (1-1) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (2-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mighty Squirrels lead 4-1-1
Game Notes: The Mighty Squirrels snapped a 12-game losing streak last week with a solid win against Mexican Standoff. After lying dormant for 75 minutes of play, the Squirrels’ offense finally awoke when Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis scored their first goal of the 2009 season. Also promising was new goalie Eric Ramirez, who made a splash in his debut, holding the potent Standoff offense to no goals. With their two victories to open the season, the Gouging Anklebiters are already halfway to equaling their four wins from 2008. Their latest win, a stunning upset over the Rehabs, proves that the Anklebiters are putting their foot down and can no longer be taken lightly. The Anklebiters will look to stay undefeated as they face a familiar Schloeder Division foe.
Keys To The Game:
1. Nestor Nonato’s return to BTSH has buoyed the attack of the Gouging Anklebiters. His offensive prowess has been a key component to their fast start.
2. Despite getting a little dinged up last week (as usual), Mighty Squirrels shutdown defender Marie Marberg is probable for this game.
3. Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri scored the game-winning goal for the Anklebiters last week. However, captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue remains steadfast in keeping him relegated to the eighth line.
Eli’s Pick: Gouging Anklebiters. Another win or two and Charles DeFranco might even start talking some trash.
Derek’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels. Tim “(S)crappy” Gray has been conspicuously absent so far this season. This can only mean good things for the Squirrels.
Week 2 Preview
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009Jason Eitel Is Gunning For The Demons
GAME OF THE WEEK
Corlears Hookers (1-0) vs. Denim Demons (1-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Although both of these bitter Rubens Division rivals were victorious last week, they each earned their win in very different fashions. The Corlears Hookers coasted to a five goal victory against the Tuques Army, despite having only one substitute. Jason Eitel led the way with a hat trick, while the defense stymied the Tuques, holding them to only one goal. The Denim Demons had to scratch and claw their way past a spunky Happy Little Elves team, despite being heavy favorites. Although they won the game in the end, the Demons actually trailed twice before scoring the game winning goal late in the second half. When the Demons and Hookers last met, the Fightin’ Rubens eked out a one goal victory in an extremely competitive and vicious game. The Hookers will look to avenge this loss on Sunday, giving them bragging rights until the next meeting on September 13.
Keys To The Game:
1. Hookers captain Peter “Purple Rain” Putka has been busy on the phone all week ensuring he will have more than one sub for Sunday’s game. However, reports indicate that Putka has “misplaced” the contact information for Albert “Al” Huang.
2. Although the Denim Demons struggled against the Elves last week, they were also missing top talent Micael Holmström. His expected return this week should strengthen an already stingy defense.
3. Demons player Zack Tinkelman has made it extremely clear that he’s planning to cheap shot any Hooker who scores a goal. Why else would he reference this in an earlier comment?
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons. Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens must have a few tricks up his sleeve.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. If they all show up, there is just too much raw talent to overcome.
