Archive for the ‘Weekly Previews’ Category
Week 1 Preview
Thursday, March 26th, 2009Rub A Dub Dub, Three Men In A Tub
GAME OF THE WEEK
Rehabs vs. Fresh Kills
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 4-4
Game Notes: This Rubens Division contest pits the defending champions against one of the most loquacious teams in BTSH. Despite winning the BTSH title game last year, Fresh Kills was an average team throughout the regular season. However, this year, they open the season with a lot more confidence and are determined to prove last year’s playoff run was more than lighting in a bottle. Even after a disappointing finish to the 2008 season, the Rehabs also enter this game brimming with confidence. Rookie sensation Sean “$howJu” McClain gloated, “Boy, is it gonna be good to hand the defending champs their first loss of the season!” Will this statement motivate $howJu’s new team or will it simply serve as bulletin board fodder for the defending champs?
Keys To The Game:
1. Due to a previous commitment, Rehabs captain Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli will miss her team’s opening game. In her absence, assistant captains Gina Hackett and Kami Moore will run the show. It is speculated that Bryan “Stork” Welch will chime in as well.
2. Although he continues to garner less fanfare than some of the other BTSH goalies, Fresh Kills netminder Dave Gil de Rubio remains a key component of their defense. His reliability and consistency enable them to be a lot more aggressive on offense.
3. While he is always up for spirited and good-natured competition, Fresh Kills captain Kevin “The Planet” Foster does not care for the trash talking preceding this game, as he is really just a sensitive guy.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. This is the type of game they usually thrive on.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. I underestimated them throughout the entire 2008 playoffs, so I’m making it a point to pick them on opening day.
October 26th Consolation Games
Saturday, October 25th, 2008The Elves Are Taking This “Black Out” Thing A Little Too Far
Rehabs (11-6-1-1) vs. What The Puck (15-4-0-1)
Location: Moffo, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 7-5
Game Notes: What The Puck player Celine Dujeux is questionable for this game after giving birth on Friday to a baby girl (Congratulations!). Now that Celine is no longer pregnant, Captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer fully expects her to play.
Mathematics (7-13) vs. Bad Touch (3-17-1)
Location: Corlears North, 12:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 3-1
Game Notes: These two teams combined for thirteen goals in their last meeting.
Cobra Kai (7-11-1-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-14-2-1)
Location: Corlears South, 12:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mexican Standoff leads 3-1
Game Notes: One of the employees at the deli near Moffo told Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens that he thinks “Mexican Sandwich” is a great team name.
Mighty Squirrels (7-10-3) vs. Denim Demons (12-5-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 12:45 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-0
Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap a ten game losing streak.
Gouging Anklebiters (4-16) vs. Happy Little Elves (2-16-1-1)
Location: Corlears North, 1:15 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 1-0
Game Notes: Bad hockey.
LBS, Inc. (15-4-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (14-5-1)
Location: Corlears South, 1:15 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1-1
Game Notes: Third place is up for grabs in this matchup of semi-final losers.
Tuques (10-10) vs. Unicorns (12-6-0-2)
Location: Moffo, 1:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-0
Game Notes: With a win, the Tuques can finish the season with a winning record for the first time in team history.
Dark Rainbows (12-7-1) vs. Sky Fighters (11-8)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
Game Notes: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker plans to attack Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds directly after the opening whistle…then claim it was a joke.
Playoff Preview: Championship Game
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008The Corlears Hookers Have Two Words For Fresh Kills
#3 Corlears Hookers (16-4) vs. #10 Fresh Kills (11-8-0-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
2008 Result: Week 6 – Corlears Hookers 4, Fresh Kills 0
Game Notes: For the second consecutive season, the Corlears Hookers have advanced to the championship game. Unlike last year, when the Hookers battled through the playoffs with three one-goal victories en route to the final, they have cruised in 2008. In just three playoff games, they have posted twenty goals, including five apiece for Reilly “Fake Dutch” Olson and Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney. With only three goals allowed, their defense and goaltending have been extremely impressive as well. As would be expected of a Cinderella team, Fresh Kills has faced a tougher road. Although they clinched a spot in the final with a 3-1 victory over LBS, Inc. last week, their previous two wins came by only one goal, including a double overtime thriller against What The Puck. Their offense has revolved around the Sokolyansky brothers, who have accounted for 50% of their postseason scoring. Fresh Kills, now in their seventh year, have had varying degrees of success in the regular season, but have perennially made a deep run in the playoffs. In their brief stint in BTSH, the Corlears Hookers have been a dominant force, with an overall record of 35-6 and two championship game appearances. Both teams, however, are still searching for their first title. On Sunday, one of them will finally capture BTSH glory.
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. After shaking off some rust in the first half, goalie Chris Beauvois held Filthy Gorgeous scoreless in the second half of their semifinal matchup. When he is in a rhythm, even the most dangerous of shooters struggle to find the net against him.
2. Although Olson and Kearney have led the team in postseason scoring, Jason Eitel tied for fourth in the league with fifteen regular season goals, despite missing several games with an injury. He will be another dangerous weapon in the Hookers’ already loaded arsenal.
3. It may not be a coincidence that the Hookers have heated up with Brendan “Dutch” Kearney out with an injury. Perhaps with him on the sidelines, the jealousy and backstabbing has finally cooled down.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Feed off the energy of the fans. BTSH loves an underdog, and the heckle wall will be heavily tilted against the favored Corlears Hookers.
2. With a goals against average of just over one goal per game in the playoffs, goalie Dave Gil de Rubio has quietly had an impressive postseason. He will have to be at the top of his game while facing the Hookers’ snipers.
3. Don’t let Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg shoot…or pass.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Getting shutout in last year’s final should be enough to motivate them for this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. When the Hookers are at full attendance, Fresh Kills cannot match them player for player.
Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Fresh Kills are the Buffalo Bills of BTSH. They will never win it. “Lessy” is a poor man’s Jim Kelly.
October 19th Consolation Games
Friday, October 17th, 2008The Rehabs Still Have Their Game Face On
Bad Touch (2-17-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-13-2-1)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: With both teams picking up wins in the last few weeks, they are both trying to finish the season on a high note.
Denim Demons (12-4-2-1) vs. What The Puck (14-4-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-2
Game Notes: If a couple of plays had gone the other way last week, this could very well have been an outstanding semi-final matchup.
Mathematics (6-13) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-15)
Location: Moffo, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 3-1
Game Notes: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters claims the Mathematics’ victory against his team in the regular season is “tainted”…because the Mathematics did not have Andy Pratt that day.
Happy Little Elves (2-15-1-1) vs. Tuques (9-10)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 1-0
Game Notes: According to Tuques goalie, Minkus, “No Elves are scoring on me.”
Rehabs (10-6-1-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-9-3)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-1-1
Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap a nine game losing streak.
Dark Rainbows (12-6-1) vs. Unicorns (11-6-0-2)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
Game Notes: The outcome of this game does not affect the Unicorns’ possesion of the (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
Cobra Kai (6-11-1-1) vs. Sky Fighters (11-7)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 2-1
Game Notes: We assume that the Sky Fighters will actually show up for this one. Their captains would expect nothing less.
Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part II)
Thursday, October 16th, 2008Yeah, Fernando, We’re Going To Need You To Come In On Sunday…
#2 LBS, Inc. (15-3-1) vs. #10 Fresh Kills (10-8-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 9-5
2008 Result: Week 15 – LBS, Inc. 6, Fresh Kills 3
Game Notes: As the #2 seed, LBS, Inc. was supposed to be in this game. They have looked nearly impenetrable throughout the regular season, and their momentum continued into the playoffs. In the opening round, they blanked Mexican Standoff 4-0, despite the absence of star player (and self-proclaimed “cleanest player in the game”) “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin. They also weathered a spirited challenge from the Unicorns in the quarterfinals, ultimately prevailing in a shootout. As the #10 seed, Fresh Kills is the clear Cinderella story of the playoffs for the second consecutive year. After a mediocre regular season, Fresh Kills turned on the light switch for the postseason. In the opening round, they survived a 1-0 battle against the dangerous Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka-led Sky Fighters with gritty play and tenacity. They continued by stunning regular season champion What The Puck the following Sunday. Both LBS, Inc. and Fresh Kills have been cornerstones of the league for several seasons, resulting in a storied and competitive rivalry. Although LBS, Inc. defeated Fresh Kills in their 2008 regular season matchup, Fresh Kills is responsible for eliminating The Corporation from the playoffs in 2007.
Keys To The Game For LBS, Inc.:
1. “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser may be a star in some circles, but “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin isn’t buying it. He warned, “We’re going to hand Jeff Lessy [sic] his ass implants back to him after the game.” Whether Poulin’s comments actually serve to motivate his team remains to be seen.
2. Karsten Pichon finished second in the regular season with 20 goals and has also added two more in the playoffs. When he is on, LBS, Inc. is tough to beat.
3. Captain Sascha Puritz is always quick to note that Seth Wachtell has been one of BTSH’s top goalies over the past few seasons, despite a limited amount of press. He is the only goalie remaining in the playoffs who has led his team to a championship.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Alicia Walker returned to the team last week after a brief (and unexcused) hiatus to get married. While she does not score a lot of goals, she has already fit back into her familiar role as one of Fresh Kills’ top playmakers.
2. Dave Sokolyansky will serve as Fresh Kills’ offensive counter-punch to the scoring prowess of Karsten Pichon. Last week, Sokolyansky tallied a hat trick, including the game-winner in double overtime.
3. Don’t let Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg shoot.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Every time The Alpha Male has run his mouth, they have followed it up with a win.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Fresh Kills’ playoff run makes for a very nice story, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for them to advance another round.
