btsh.org

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 25 JULY 2007
by Eli Kazin and Derek Tagliarino
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I don∂t see what the big deal with the rain was… it was just water. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan@yahoo.com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
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The Games

THEY DON∂T CALL HIM “COOP” BECAUSE THEY JUST WANTED TO USE THAT NICKNAME.
Alex Eben Meyer, also known as Coop, scored the only goal of the game midway through the second half, as the Bad Touch defeated the Mighty Squirrels, 1-0. Tim “Scrappy” Gray started in goal for the Mighty Squirrels, making 78 saves in the process. Unfortunately, he was distracted when Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder put together a coherent sentence, allowing Coop to gently tap the ball over the line from the edge of the crease.

THE 1972 MIAMI DOLPHINS WOULD LIKE TO THANK PORK FRIED RICE. With Brendan “Dutch” Kearney detained in a prison deep in the jungles of Guatemala, Pork Fried Rice handed the Corlears Hookers their first defeat of the season, 4-1. Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri scored two goals for Pork Fried Rice, but had three more disallowed because he was standing in the crease (while abusing the ref).

ERIK CORTES WILL NOT BE GETTING ANY TONIGHT. Despite a career high three goals from Roderick Cruz, What The Puck was unable to hold onto the lead, as Fresh Kills recorded the 4-3 victory. Jeff Lesser, with the flames fading from his turbo boost, scored the game winning goal with five seconds remaining on a shot from 100 feet away. In a cruel twist of irony, Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg managed to get four shots on net, while Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman shot like the A-Team, never coming within ten feet of the net.

JEFFREY HENDRICKS TOOK THEM TO THE BEACH. Due to a double team-wide outbreak of herpes, both the Rehabs and Filthy Gorgeous failed to field a team. Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon was the only player seen on the court for either team, but he seemed to be more interested in playing dice than in playing hockey.

BROOKLYN, BROOKLYN. Mike O’Connor had a shutout going, but Phil “The Jeweled Shillelagh” Donohue kicked in an own goal with just twenty seconds left in regulation to spoil an otherwise perfect day for the Gouging Anklebiters, who defeated the Sky Fighters, 5-1, who played short-handed
with one woman, Lourdes Bañez. Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri was held scoreless after being ejected ten seconds into the game for refusing to take off his tank top and put on a regulation size jersey.

THE MATHEMATICS ADD UP A VICTORY. Perhaps taking their pregame cheer too far, thirty players showed up for the Mathematics, who defeated the Tuques, 4-3. After becoming enraged with one of referee Jeremy Schumacher’s calls, Andy Pratt engaged in fisticuffs with Schumacher. Surprisingly, Pratt was not ejected, and proceeded to score four goals in the five minutes immediately following the altercation. Fear not, ladies of BTSH… Schumacher’s face was not badly bruised.

THE DARK RAINBOWS MADE IT RAIN ON UG. After a pregame prayer while facing Mecca, Trevor “Jesus” Tyrrell registered the shutout to lead the Dark Rainbows to a 3-0 victory against the Unicorns. The game was stopped for two minutes during the second half, when Hector “$howtime” Melendez of the Unicorns crashed through the metal fence and onto the FDR Drive. Fortunately, no cars were damaged.

STEF DID NOT GET DOWN ON THE LOW ONES. Mexican Standoff, disguised as Cobra Kai, notched a 4-1 victory against Cobra Kai. It is unclear exactly who scored for Mexican Standoff, with the exception of Jeffrey Hendricks, who played topless – an unenforced violation of the Quality of Life code enacted during the Guilianni administration.
Standoff player who dressed like Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison scored two goals, while the real Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison scored one goal, completing the very unnatural hat trick.

KEN POULIN IS THE ALPHA MALE. Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin scored a league record eight goals in one game, to lead LBS past the Denim Demons, 8-4. Poulin broke the previous record, a self-proclaimed six goals by Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette of the Denim Demons. Adam “The Legend Killer” Rubens refused to play until someone told him, once and for all, why he is indeed “The Legend Killer” – though it’s reputed to have nothing to do with the death of Bob Marley.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag@gmail.com)

Albert Huang of the Corlears Hookers is now Al.
Dan Abdo of the Dark Rainbows is now Danny Abs.

Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Jason “Cheek” Cheek (like this: points to cheek) of the Mighty Squirrels, for teaching Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder and Marie Marberg of the Mighty Squirrels proper English (apparently the kind they speak in North Carolina).
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News and Notes

Georgine “Mulva” Paulin of the Mathematics was given the key to the city of Pittsburgh for representing ∏what the Midwest is all about….. Tuques goalie Matt “Minkus” Spedeleri, in a Saturday evening competition held in Des Moines, finished third in the National Sharif Memorial Hot Legs Competition…. Due to a constant rain, the playing surface was wet…. Corey “Chongo” Winters of What The Puck was very disappointed after the Toronto Blue Jays lost a three game series to the Chicago White Sox…. Jonathan “The
Barnacle” Levine of Cobra Kai completed the difficult task of carrying on a conversation with every league member in attendance at Saturday’s mid-season party.
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Upcoming Schedule

August 5th, 2007 (rescheduled from April 15th)

4pm Corlears 1 GAME OF THE WEEK What The Puck (10-3) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-9)
– Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters was loquacious in the days leading up to this game, stating “Emma smells, Rod’s garbage, Michelle has a bad accent, Celine can’t sing, Amy has a short name, Jennifer runs like a girl, Darrell has no shot, Laurissa is subpar, Erica is not as good as I am, Kevin likes pink, Tom is a jerk, Tara doesn’t bathe, Jasmine is a Disney character, Scott also smells, Susanna cries too much, Brian has no hair, Elletra sucks, Corey is Canadian, Mike leaves much to be desired, and Larry is ugly.” When asked for a response, What The Puck captain Larry Zimmer replied “We will win.”

3pm Corlears 1 Dark Rainbows (9-3-0-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (3-9-0-1)
3pm Corlears 2 Sky Fighters (1-12) vs. LBS (6-7)
3pm Moffo Denim Demons (8-4-1) vs. Bad Touch (6-7)
4pm Corlears 1 What The Puck (10-3) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-9)
4pm Corlears 2 Tuques (4-9) vs. Pork Fried Rice (9-4)
4pm Moffo Fresh Kills (8-4-0-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (6-6)
5pm Corlears 1 Mexican Standoff (4-8-0-1) vs. Unicorns (8-2-2-1)
5pm Corlears 2 Cobra Kai (4-9) vs. Rehabs (6-5-1)
5pm Moffo Corlears Hookers (12-1) vs. Mathematics (6-6-0-1)

in this message:

– SUNDAY’S SCHEDULE OF GAMES
– WOMEN’S SCRIMMAGES
– JOHNSONS OLYMPICS II
– BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY
– POSTINGS
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SCHEUDULE 22-Jul-2007

3pm C1 Bad Touch vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3pm C2 G.Anklebiters vs. Mathmatics
4pm C1 Dark Rainbows vs. Tuques
4pm C2 Denim Demons vs. Sky Fighters
5pm C1 Rehabs vs. Mexican Standoff
5pm C2 Cobra Kai vs. Mighty Squirrels

3pm M PFR vs. Fresh Kills
4pm M C.Hookers vs. Unicorns
5pm M WTP vs. Lbs
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WOMEN’S SCRIMMAGES

Women’s scrimmages are finally up and running. We meet
on Tuesdays at Corlears from 6pm until dark. If you
would like more information, want to make suggestions,
or just want to make sure it’s game on, send a blank
email to: BTSHwomen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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THE JOHNSONS OLYMPICS II – THIS SUDNAY – 22 JULY 2007

Twelve months ago fate met with intoxicated decision making and history was born. Yes, who could ever forget the inspiration, the artistic genius, the awe-inducing sight of Sharif Corinaldi atop the Johnsons bar wearing his patented leopard print Jane. Surely, a moment that will live in BTSH lore (see attached photo). Well, the seasons have changed full circle and now it is once again time. Will Sharif be able to defend his title of “Mr. Hot Legs”? Will a new champion rise from the ranks? Find out the answers to the these burning questions and so much more at the 2007 Johnsons Olympics coming to you on Sunday, July 22nd.

That’s right, join your host and drink master Brent Smith and emcee Craig LaCombe (Unicorns) as they bring you events like Hot Legs, Team Case Races, the World Famous Arm Wrestling Tourney and, new this year, the Ms. Pac-Man challenge (Molly from LBS is the early favorite in this event). Prizes include offerings from Tiny’s, Dash Dogs, and our official event sponsor PBR who will have plenty of schwag to dish out to our champions.

Also, this year the Johnsons is proud to announce a “Shots For Nets” initiative to help pay Gary for his services on the new BTSH nets. Lisa (Tuques), the official Johnsons shot girl, will be on hand selling shots at slightly inflated prices…the profits go to Gary. Currently, our boy is doing the work from the kindness of his heart, so here’s a chance to pass the hat for him. BTSH charity, y’all.

See you at the Johnsons on Sunday, July 22nd at 6:15 — just after the final games.

FAQ:
* I’m a chump and missed last year’s event…what are the Johnsons Olympics? A series of bar games with beer, food and lasting glory as rewards.
* Are there prizes? Hell yes.
* What are they? The 2007 Johnsons Olympics is sponsored by PBR and neighborhood eateries…
* What’s up with the new “Shots For Nets” program…is Brent just gonna pocket the money? Great question…Brent swears he won’t…so yes, you’re drinking for a good cause…and you can tell your boss you were out doing charity work on Monday.
* Will there be an event sign-up for my team? Yes, your captain will get that in advance. There will be more copies on-hand at the Johnsons.
* Is Sharif Gonna Break Out the Leopard Print This Year? One can only hope.
* Are There Photos of Last Year? Yup, check out Chris’ (Hookers) fine work here: http://mechanicalmoon.smugmug.com/gallery/1560733#75360898
* What is the Meaning of Life? To say you went to events like the Johnsons Olympics.
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BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY

SATURDAY 28 JULY 2007 – 7PM-9PM
PARKSIDE LOUNGE (317 e. houston at attorney)

live performances by BTSH members! full schedule tba soon!

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POSTINGS

SUB-LET FOR AUGUST
jon rick-fg

Sublet: August 1st-31st, Prospect Heights.
If you or anyone you know wants my room for the month of August, please email me (soon) at hellojonrick AT gmail DOT com. The rent is $850 for the month, utilities included. The room is on the top floor of a brownstone; it is very spacious, and it has an AC window unit. The apartment has wireless, television with lots of channels, a dishwasher, and even houses another member of btsh. It’s located a couple of blocks from the 2/3 stop at Grand Army Plaza and the Q/B stop at 7th Ave. Ok, thanks. -Jon
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LOOKING FOR WORK
hector melendez

part-time, full-time, over-time… if you have a lead on any kind of jobs, give hector a shout!
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LONG TERM SUB-LET/ROOM MATE
bobw-fk

my pal mike gorder is coming to nyc from sept. to april to work at lasker rink/central park. he’s from alaska, is a musician, hockey player/coach, and super nice, laid back, typical alaskan kinda fellow. i worked with him last season and can 100% vouch for him. if anybody has a sub-let or room available, please let me know. thanks! bob AT triagemusic DOT com

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if you want something posted to the league, send it to me BUT MAKE SURE THAT YOU PUT “BTSH POSTING” IN THE SUBJECT LINE or i might miss it.
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[bw]

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 19 JULY 2007
by Eli Kazin

Please pass anything noteworthy on to me at themajordeegan@yahoo.com or look for me at the games or the bars.
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The Games

WHAT THE PUCK’S WINNING STREAK HAS BEEN REPORTED LOST. The Corlears Hookers remained undefeated with a 4-2 victory against What The Puck that also ended the defending champion’s fifteen game winning streak. Gavin Kearney scored two goals, including the game winner midway through the second half on an angled shot to the top left corner of the goal, and the Corlears Hookers also received goals from Josh Sadlier-Brown and Kelly Buchanan. The goal scorers for What The Puck were Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters and Brian Vroom.

THIS GAME TURNED OUT TO BE A PRETTY GOOD ONE. The two teams that were mentioned, somewhat derisively, in last week’s Game of the Week description played a very exciting and close game, with Daniel Canarick scoring the only goal of the game midway through the second half to lead the Bad Touch past the Tuques, 1-0. Michael Tuckman registered his first shutout of the season for the Bad Touch, and this game also featured referees Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri and Jeremy Schumacher, the Best Looking Ref Duo in BTSH (with apologies to Adam and Jim from the Denim Demons).

CRABCAKES AND FOOTBALL. THAT’S WHAT MARYLAND DOES. Maryland native Mike O’Connor recorded his first shutout of the season as the Gouging Anklebiters blanked Cobra Kai, 5-0. Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri scored three goals, and Shannon Voto and Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton each added a goal for the Gouging Anklebiters, who won their second straight game with food or alcohol as a pre-game bet. Note to the Mathematics, who play the Gouging Anklebiters next week…if you want to win, DO NOT bet on the game.

AND ANOTHER UNDEFEATED TEAM FALLS. Suvin Malik scored the only goal of the shootout as Filthy Gorgeous defeated the Unicorns, 3-2. In regulation, Homin ‘Maverick’ Lee and Jeff Giberstein scored goals for Filthy Gorgeous, while Hector ‘$howtim3′ Melendez and Courtney Butler scored goals for the Unicorns. Alex Zabala appeared to score a goal for the Unicorns in the first half on a shot that might have hit the inside post or a water bottle, but neither referee saw the ball go in the net, so no goal was awarded.

SHOOTOUTS GALORE. Samuel Anthony and Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin each scored in the shootout as LBS rallied to defeat the Mathematics, 2-1. Alex Simon scored the tying goal for LBS midway through the second half, while Andy Pratt scored the lone goal for the Mathematics. Derek Tagliarino played his first ever game in goal for the Mathematics, and managed to give up eight fewer goals than Tim ‘Scrappy’ Gray of the Mighty Squirrels did against the same opponent.

IS PORK FRIED RICE STARTING TO HIT THEIR STRIDE? Ant ‘Father Time’ Ventolieri, Mike ‘Cupcake’ Bartlett, and Tim Hannon each scored goals as Pork Fried Rice defeated the Rehabs, 3-1. Bryan Welch scored the lone goal for the Rehabs, although he stated after the game that it’s not a good thing if he is the only goal scorer for his team.

HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF. Miky Wolf scored two goals, including the game winner with approximately five minutes remaining in regulation, as the Mighty Squirrels upset Fresh Kills, 3-2. Gary Kowalski also scored a goal for the Mighty Squirrels, while Kevin ‘Tiny’ Foster and Patrick Moore scored goals for Fresh Kills.

MEXICAN STANDOFF IS BETTER AT FOUR ON FOUR THAN THE SKY FIGHTERS ARE. In a game where both teams had to play with only four players at a time due to low female turnout, Mexican Standoff pounded the Sky Fighters, 9-0. Tim Hartz recorded the shutout for Mexican Standoff, who received three goals from Ben Bloom, two goals apiece from Gary Cohen and Haanwa Chau, and one goal each from Jason Greenberg and Tim Olson.

THE POWER OF JESUS COMPELS YOU. Trevor ‘Jesus’ Tyrrell, according to his opposition, played a stellar game in net, as the Dark Rainbows defeated the Denim Demons, 5-3. Jennie Brown, Michel Steenport and Libby Hartle-Tyrrell played most of the game for the Dark Rainbows and were captain Sean Reynolds’ selections as the three stars of the game. Dave Shyu, Jeff Kamen, and Zack Tinkleman were the goal scorers for the Denim Demons.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino

(please send all comments to derektag@gmail.com)
These people will now be known as the following:
Craig Lacombe of the Unicorns is now Ug (http://filebox.vt.edu/users/ironjev/ug.gif).

I’ll yield the second nickname to Peter Putka of Corlears Hookers:
‘Chris Beauvois is now ‘Flipper’ as the result of a save he made in our game that deflected off my foot towards the goal and he saved by jumping up with his head like a Marine animal. Craig Lacombe came up with the name at the Johnson’s while we were having a beer and chatting in the latter stages of the evening…’

Also, after careful consideration and serious deliberation, I have decided that Andrea’s nickname, Vegetable Lasagna, will stand.
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Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Kyle Fogden of the Mighty Squirrels, who usually plays on defense but played in goal for just the second time in his BTSH career, and allowed just two goals to help the Mighty Squirrels upset Fresh Kills.
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News and Notes

Ellery ‘The Nature Boy’ Gillette invented a new rule, calling traveling on Shannon Voto of the Gouging Anklebiters after she grabbed a ball out of the air and took a few steps while trying to find a good place to put it on the pavement….Kelly Buchanan’s goal was also her first BTSH goal….Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters, while trying to keep a ball from rolling out of bounds, dove into the spectator area and knocked over some of Fresh Kills’ beer. Fresh Kills is not completely without blame, as they should know better than to sit within a few feet of the out-of-bounds line.
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Upcoming Schedule

July 22nd, 2007
4pm Moffo GAME OF THE WEEK Corlears Hookers (11-0) vs. Unicorns (8-1-2)
– The Unicorns are ready to face the Corlears Hookers, with both Craig ‘Ug’ Lacombe and Hector ‘$howtim3′ Melendez providing some pre-game comments. Lacombe states ‘I have love for the Hookers, I have love for Peter Putka and Chris Beauvois, but I want to say Fuck You to Pal.’ Not to be outdone, ‘$howtim3′ offered the following words: ‘There’s no way in hell that the Corlears Hookers are going to step on the court undefeated and walk off still undefeated. I vow that I will play until I run myself into the hospital that the Unicorns and I will beat the Hookers this Sunday!’ How much would it cost for the Hookers to fly in Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney from Guatemala just to play in this game?

3pm Corlears 1 Bad Touch (4-7) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (6-5)
3pm Corlears 2 Gouging Anklebiters (3-8) vs. Mathematics (4-7)
3pm Moffo Pork Fried Rice (7-4) vs. Fresh Kills (7-4)
4pm Corlears 1 Dark Rainbows (8-3) vs. Tuques (3-8)
4pm Moffo Corlears Hookers (11-0) vs. Unicorns (8-1-2)
4pm Corlears 2 Denim Demons (7-3-1) vs. Sky Fighters (1-10)
5pm Corlears 1 Rehabs (6-4-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (2-9)
5pm Corlears 2 Cobra Kai (4-7) vs. Mighty Squirrels (2-9)
5pm Moffo What The Puck (10-1) vs. LBS (4-7)

in this update:

– LAST WEEK’S SCORES
– THIS WEEK’S SCHEDULE
– DRINK OLYMPICS AT THE JOHNSONS
– BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY
– BTSH GEAR
– POSTINGS:
women’s clinic this sunday 1:30pm
women’s tournament aug. 25-26 in ocean city, md
bronx zoo benefit
breast cancer fundraisers
ice hockey/beach party
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SCORES FOR 8-Jul-2007

3pm Corlears Denim Demons 7 Tuques 4
3pm Corlears .lbs 0 Unicorns 2
3pm Moffo Mathmatics 2 Fresh Kills 7
4pm Corlears Bad Touch 1 Dark Rainbows 4
4pm Corlears Cobra Kai 3 Sky Fighters 2
4pm Moffo Filthy Gorgeous 2 WTP 5
5pm Corlears Gouging Anklebiters 1 PFR 3
5pm Moffo Corlears Hookers 6 Mexican Standoff 4
5pm Moffo Mighty Squirrels 0 Rehabs 2

full scores and stats always available first at:
http://www.traineaux.com/hockey/btsh.stats.html
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GAMES THIS WEEK – SUNDAY 15 JULY 2007

15-Jul
3pm C1 Mighty Squirrels vs. Fresh Kills
3pm C2 Sky Fighters vs. Mexican Standoff
4pm C1 Filthy Gorgeous vs. Unicorns
4pm C2 Rehabs vs. PFR
5pm C1 WTP vs. C.Hookers
5pm C2 Mathmatics vs. Lbs

3pm M Bad Touch vs. Tuques
4pm M G.Anklebiters vs. Cobra Kai
5pm M Dark Rainbows vs. Denim Demons
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DRINK OLYMPICS AT THE JOHNSONS – date TBD

coming on a sunday in the very near future, brett of the johnsons and phil of gouging anklebiters will host the olympics! or rather, the DRINKlympics/ALCHOLYMPICS! expect all manner of contests testing the skills, agility, endurance and flat-out stupidity of those brave/desperate enough to enter the bARENA!
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BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY

the btsh mid-season party will be:

saturday july 28, 2007
7-9pm
parkside lounge (317 e. houston at attorney)

there will be btsh members performing. if you’re one of the folks who contacted me about performing, i’ll get back to you with details in the next few days!
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GEAR ISSUES

as we await a new era to begin with the metal goals that gary of mighty squirrels is building for us, let’s make sure that we’re taking good care of the gear that we currently use!

first off, PLEASE chase after balls that leave the playing area, whether at corlears or moffo. those suckers aren’t free, and we lose far too many than we should. if you’re watching a game and you see a ball go over or under the fence, PLEASE go get it!

regarding the nets, there is a proper way to put them together and take them apart. if you don’t know how to do it, then please ask somebody who does. otherwise, let them be. but DO ask how to do it if you want to help out!

ALSO regarding balls… at corlears please only use the tar-blackened balls for warming up. we need to keep the new orange balls bright for game use. DO NOT use new balls for warm ups! lest we end up with balls that can’t be easily seen during games.
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POSTINGS:

WOMEN’S CLINIC
from HAANWA-mexican standoff

1:30pm at corlears
for more info and to reserve, contact:
haanwa
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WOMEN’S TOURNAMENT
from LIZA-filthy gorgeous

We have another women’s tournament coming the weekend
of August 25th-26th in Ocean City, MD.

I would like to reach out to any women in BTSH who are
interested in participating on the tournament. They
will need to cover travel, hotel (TBD) and tournament
fee ($50).

This is the second year in a row we have attended this
tournament and last year was a total blast.

If anyone is interested, please ask them to email me
at wattsliza AT yahoo DOT com.

Thanks! -Liza
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BRONX ZOO FUNDRAISER THIS WEDNESDAY AT 8PM
from GREG-rehabs

THE BRONX ZOO IS HAVING A FUNDRAISER THIS WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 8 PM:
Landsdowne Road
599 10th Avenue Between 43rd and 44th Street
Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 8:00pm – 2:00 AM

To raise money and awareness about an amazing cause (keep reading for all the info about the cause)! It’s a $25 donation. That will get you two free drinks (this includes any beer, wine, and well drinks)! The rest of the night two selected beers will be $3 all night! We will also have a raffle and silent auction with some great prizes, including a free weekend in Berlin, Germany and Vermont!!!! Please come and show your support!

The Cause:
Gabon, on the Atlantic coast of Equatorial Africa, is one of the few
remaining places on Earth, where gorillas, elephants, and rare monkeys
and birds thrive in pristine habitats, alongside people of many vibrant
cultures. This sparsely populated country was little known to the world
until the turn of the last century when an expedition by the Wildlife
Conservation Society (WCS) and National Geographic resulted in discovery
of landscapes and animal populations never seen before. Previously
undocumented scenes came to life in amazing photographs that moved even
Gabon’s President himself. Realizing the importance of such purity in
the modern world, President Omar Bongo set aside 10.8 percent of his
country in 13 national parks in 2002 – and he did so virtually
overnight, in one of the boldest moves in conservation history. Bongo’s
idea was to preserve his nation’s natural resources, while also
stimulating the economy and improving livelihoods through ecotourism.
[more info at http://www.wcs.org]

If you are unable to make it and still want to contribute please visit www.wcs.org/donate click on “Gabon Rainforest” and donate today.
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BOOZE FOR BOOBS – BREAST CANCER RESEARCH BENEFIT
from MARY-mighty squirrels

Date: July 24, 2007
Place: IGGY’S Keltic Lounge
132 Ludlow Street
Time: 9pm

Are you ready for a night of drinking, hanging with friends, relaxing and saving breasts?

Well then–Join me at Iggy’s for an evening of boozing it up all for a great cause. As some of you know, I will be participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer this October. All the proceeds from this evening will go to stomping out breast cancer.

Here’s the deal:

For a $20.00 donation you will recieve two tickets, each is redeemable for a free drink. Plus $1 or $2 off your drinks for the rest of the night.

Hosted by: Mary of the Mighty Squirrels
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ICE HOCKEY/BEACH PARTY
from BOB-fresh kills

SAT. AUG. 4, 2007
10:30am ice hockey game at aviator in brooklyn.
12:30pm beach party at jacob riis park, far rockaway.

if you want to participate in either or both events, contact:
bob AT triagemusic DOT com.
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[bw]

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – WEEK 11
by Eli Kazin

Just a reminder…if anyone has anything they feel is worthy of being placed in the weekly recaps, please send me an email at themajordeegan AT yahoo DOT com or look for me at the games or at the bars afterwards.
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The Games

CRAIG LACOMBE BACKS UP HIS MOUTH WITH HIS GOALTENDING ABILITIES. Craig Lacombe backed up his profanity laced diatribe about LBS by registering his third shutout of the season as the Unicorns defeated LBS, 2-0. Mark McAdam scored the game-winning goal midway through the second half, and Caitlin Ervin added an insurance goal minutes later.

GUATEMALA NOW HAS DUTCH FEVER. Despite missing top scorer Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney, who is in Guatemala, and only having four male position players in attendance, the Corlears Hookers remained undefeated with a 6-4 victory against Mexican Standoff. Matt Zimmerman and Gavin Kearney each scored two goals, while Peter Putka and Anshu Sinha each added one goal for the Corlears Hookers. Tommy Cho, Jeff ‘Peaches’ Hendricks, Kristen Scalia, and Jason Rosenstock were the goal scorers for Mexican Standoff.

BUSINESS AS USUAL. Mike Woodsworth scored two goals, and Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters, Darrell ‘Accurate Bob’ Hartman, and Brian Vroom each added a goal, as What The Puck defeated Filthy Gorgeous, 5-2, for their fifteenth consecutive victory.

SENSEI JOHN KREESE WOULD BE PROUD. Enayet ‘Retail’ Rasul scored the game-winning goal with two seconds remaining in regulation as Cobra Kai rallied to stun the Sky Fighters, 3-2. After pulling goalie Stefanie Volanto for the extra attacker, Cobra Kai tied the game when Laurie Chakel scored on a scramble in front of the net with just two minutes remaining. Mike ‘FLIP!’ Sanfilippo also scored for Cobra Kai, while Patrick Borelli and Dan Hooper were the goal scorers for the Sky Fighters.

THAT NUMBER MIGHT STILL BE A LITTLE HIGH. Trevor ‘Jesus’ Tyrrell, who was credited with 104 saves in a game earlier in the season, needed only 55 saves to lead the Dark Rainbows past the Bad Touch, 4-1. John Nielsen scored three goals for the Dark Rainbows, and Dan Abdo and Lindsey Foehrenbach were both noted by captain Sean Reynolds as scoring the game-winning goal. Daniel Canarick scored the lone goal for the Bad Touch.

NOAH FARKAS WAS THRILLED TO NOT HAVE TO PLAY IN GOAL ON SUNDAY. After missing five games with an injury, Denim Demons goalie Jim Morris returned on the hottest day of the season to date for their 7-4 victory against the Tuques. Zack Tinkelman had a had trick for the Denim Demons, who also received goals from Micael Holmström, Noah Farkas, Jeff Kamen, and Dave Shyu. The goal scorers for the Tuques were Todd Robertson, Alfred Liu, Gabe Wilson, and Dean Keyworth.

PORK FRIED RICE IS STILL A DANGEROUS TEAM. Mike Taylor scored two second half goals as Pork Fried Rice rallied from an early deficit to defeat the Gouging Anklebiters, 3-1. Ant Ventolieri also scored for Pork Fried Rice, while Phil ‘The Jeweled Shillelagh’ Donohue scored the lone goal for the Gouging Anklebiters. Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri made the emergency start in goal for the Gouging Anklebiters in the absence of starting goalie Mike O’Connor.

THESE TWO TEAMS ARE NOT VERY FOND OF EACH OTHER. Brian Wong and Bryan Welch each scored a goal, and Anthony Romeo recorded the shutout, as the Rehabs defeated the Mighty Squirrels, 2-0, in a very physical and chippy game.

KEVIN ‘TINY’ FOSTER’S SHOTS LEAVE VAPOR TRAILS. Kevin ‘Tiny’ Foster scored three goals, including one on a shot that was described by Bob ‘Olmec’ W. as leaving vapor trails, to lead Fresh Kills to a 7-2 victory against the Mathematics. Caroline Currie, Alexandre Frenette, Brice Rosenbloom, and Joe Tamburo also scored goals for Fresh Kills, while Bradley Schmidt and Derek “Ace” Tagliarino each scored a goal for the Mathematics.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino

(please send all comments to derektag AT gmail DOT com)

These people will now be known as the following:
Ant Ventolieri of the Pork Fried Rice is now Father Time.
Sherman Chan of the Tuques is now The Shermanator.

Bonus Nickname!
Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri and Jeremy Schumacher will now be known as the Best Looking Ref Duo in BTSH (with apologies to Adam and Jim from Demons).

[they should EXPLAIN the origin of the nickname! right?! what the FERK is “olmec?!?” i think that “ace” and “gary” are doing a great job with the recaps, but this is one thing that could use improvement. -ed.] [“ace and gary?” just google it and hit “i’m feeling lucky.” and good luck googling “olmec,” btw. -ed.] ————————————————
Unsung Hero of the Week
The unsung hero for this week is Amy Jones of Fresh Kills, who frustrated the Mathematics with her consistent defensive play.
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News and Notes
The first clinic was such a smashing success that there will be a second clinic for ladies and newcomers. The second women’s clinic will be held on Sunday, July 15th at 1:30 PM at Corlears Hook Park, and will feature the teachings of Patrick Larsen of Mighty Squirrels, so be sure to email an RSVP to Haanwa Chau of Mexican Standoff (haanwa at hotmail dot com) if you plan on attending….Enayet ‘Retail’ Rasul, Caroline Currie, and Anshu Sinha each scored their first BTSH goals on Sunday….Andrea ‘Vegetable Lasagna’ Schloeder of the Mighty Squirrels claims to be offended by her nickname because she is not Italian. A formal complaint has been lodged with Derek, who will take the matter under advisement and issue a ruling in next week’s nook….Matthew Spedeleri played two games in goal, as he filled in for the Sky Fighters in addition to his normal goaltending duties for the Tuques….Some non-hockey affiliated people got very drunk at the Johnson’s and were seen dry humping the Gouging Anklebiters goalie equipment bag….The smaller court at Corlears has been restored its original boundaries after the resurfacing resulted in the playing surface being narrowed by approximately seven feet.
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Upcoming Schedule
July 15th, 2007
3pm Corlears 1 Mighty Squirrels (1-9-0-1) vs. Fresh Kills (7-3)
3pm Corlears 2 Sky Fighters (1-9) vs. Mexican Standoff (1-9-0-1)
3pm Moffo Bad Touch (3-7) vs. Tuques (3-7)
4pm Corlears 1 Filthy Gorgeous (5-5) vs. Unicorns (8-0-2)
4pm Corlears 2 Rehabs (6-3-1) vs. Pork Fried Rice (6-4)
4pm Moffo Gouging Anklebiters (2-8) vs. Cobra Kai (4-6)
5pm Corlears 1 *GAME OF THE WEEK* What The Puck (10-0) vs. Corlears Hookers (10-0)
– What…you were expecting Bad Touch vs. Tuques? Two of the three remaining undefeated teams face off in what should be an intense, competitive, and thrilling matchup.
5pm Corlears 2 Mathematics (4-6) vs. LBS (3-7)
5pm Moffo Dark Rainbows (7-3) vs. Denim Demons (7-2-1)