Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer

The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.

For winning the Survivor Pool for the second straight year [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #1], I get to make yet another guest column. Here it is:

This is the true story [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #2], of two strangers, picked to run a co-ed hockey team, work together, and get their asses kicked. Find out what happens when captains stop being polite, and start getting real. The real story of the Happy Little Elves.

In 2008, the Happy Little Elves were formed. Two men, one loved, and the other me, fought for control of the franchise. The tall one they call Ben Chadwick eventually won the power struggle (because he paid Bob W. the league fee, and I didn’t), and that is how the Happy Little Elves came into existence. Years later, many books, movies, and inaccurate stories on the BTSH website [Ed: Including this very guest column] detailed how the Elves went from Lime Green Losers to champions of the BTSH world. But finally the secret tapes came out as I knew they would, and the true story has finally been revealed.

How did I know the tapes would come out???  [Ed: Two of these question marks are superfluous] Well, I leaked it on my Facebook account a few months ago. But here are the secret conversations between Ben Chadwick and myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmF42fFSnLc

As you can see, the friction between the 2009 Duo of the Year, Ben Chadwick and myself, has not thawed. We hate each other as much as we did the first day when I said to him, “Hi, my name is Rich Glanzer, but you can call me Captain.”

However, we both agree on three things:

  1. The Simpsons is way better than Family Guy
  2. Jan Erixon would still be the best Ranger
  3. Shaun deLacey [sic] is a jerk, but he’s our jerk

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 25th, 2011 at 10:26 pm and is filed under general interest. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer”

  1. lurk02 says:
    April 25, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    what’s that annoying buzzing in my ear? oh, it’s just rich yammering on again.

  2. derek says:
    April 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Should’ve pointed this out in the article, but another factual inaccuracy is this Shaun deLacy is not a jerk. He’s one of the most selfless, good-natured, and humble people I know. Just like all Flyers fans.

  3. shaunaldinho says:
    April 26, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Thank you, Derek. I appreciate you recognizing my world-renowned kindness and generosity, as well as my patience and understanding. We of the mighty Orange and Black shall spare you when we finally purge the world of the reviled Rangers, Devils and Penguins.

    I also appreciate you pointing out that Rich Glanzeer [sic] can’t spell my name correctly.

  4. shaunaldinho says:
    April 26, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    As a side note to all the editor’s notes, can we just include the hashtag #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement after this article to cover our bases?

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