Week 10 News and Notes
June 21st, 2011Congratulations, Craig! You Get A Cookie!
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, Corlears Hookers. Olson weathered an onslaught of Elves shots to lead the Corlears Hookers to a 5-0 shutout, as well as a season sweep, of their Rubens Division foes. The win propelled the Hookers into sole possession of first place in the league’s top division.
Second Star: Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns. Ug played between the pipes for two different teams on Sunday, recording a victory in each game. In the first game, a crucial Fairy Tale Cup matchup, he allowed just one goal, as his Unicorns defeated the Dark Rainbows 5-1. Later in the day, LaCombe donned his pads once more for the Gouging Anklebiters and helped them win their second game of the season. These Father’s Day victories were made even more special as his parents were in attendance to watch their son play.
First Star: Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia. Miciletto once again sparked The Family’s dominant offense with a four-goal performance in his team’s 7-4 win against the Tompkins Square Riots. This was his fourth consecutive game with at least one goal, and Miciletto now leads BTSH with 13 goals on the season.
Week 10 Box Scores
June 19th, 2011Seth Beat Poutine, And All He Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
LBS, Inc. 2, Poutine Machine 1 (OT-SO)
LBS, Inc.: Jason Bogdaneris (1)
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John (2)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Shootout: LBS, Inc. wins 1-0. Successful attempt by Sam Anthony.
Sky Fighters 2, Rehabs 1 (OT-SO)
Sky Fighters: Mark Bloom (2)
Rehabs: Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman (1)
Goalie Win: James Stein
Shootout: Sky Fighers win 1-0. Successful attempt by Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.
Filthy Gorgeous 2, Fresh Kills 1
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik (6), Chris Mangan (3)
Fresh Kills: Scott Lee (4)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Game Notes: Lee dedicated his goal to Derek Tagliarino, who told Lee he should probably try to score.
La Famiglia 7, Tompkins Square Riots 4
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto 4 (13), Shafiq “Off Black” Perry 2 (10), Alfred Liu (2)
Tompkins Square Riots: Joe Fiore 2 (5), Craig Thompson 2 (3)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Corlears Hookers 5, Happy Little Elves 0
Corlears Hookers: Jock Paul 2 (2), Libby Lewis (2), Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (2), Jesse Scolaro (2)
Shutout: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (3)
Unicorns 5, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Joe Polowczuk (7), Chris (4), Caitlin (2), Cathy (1), Erin (1)
Dark Rainbows: Mike Dudolevitch (1)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe
Game Notes: The Dark Rainbows have officially been eliminated from contention for the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
What The Puck 6, Denim Demons 2
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (9), Brock Bosacker 2 (3), Oliver Hartman (4), “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (4)
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira (1), Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (1)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang (on loan from Cobra Kai)
Butchers 1, Mega Touch 1 (OT-SO)
Butchers: “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis (5)
Mega Touch: Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (2)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Revechkis (BUT) and Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (MT).
Mathematics 4, Gut Rot 2
Mathematics: Adam Langer (3), Sean “$howJu” McClain (2), Lilly Preston (2), Eli Kazin (1)
Gut Rot: Tom (6), Gilligan1 (3)
Goalie Win: Joe Boshko
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Cobra Kai 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (6), Mike Diverio (1), Annika (1)
Cobra Kai: Enayet “Retail” Rasul (1)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (on loan from Unicorns)
Game Notes: Diverio’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with nine minutes remaining in regulation.
Week 10 Preview
June 16th, 2011This Is An Optical Illusion. They’re The Same Height.
GAME OF THE WEEK
LBS, Inc. (5-2-0-1) at Poutine Machine (5-2-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Few circled this inter-conference matchup as a potential Game of the Week when the schedule was released in February. LBS, Inc. logged a pedestrian 8-7-0-1 record in 2010, resulting in a demotion from the Rubens Division to the Hackett Division. Poutine Machine, in its inaugural season, finished 16th in BTSH with a 6-9-0-1 record. However, fortunes have changed this year, and both teams have surpassed expectations. The Corporation, after opening the season with two losses, has responded by winning five of its last six games and sits just two points out of first place in the ultra-competitive Hackett Division. Poutine Machine needs just one more win to equal last year’s total and maintains a comfortable lead in the MacNeil Division. Will LBS, Inc. be that win?
Keys To The Game:
1. LBS, Inc.’s newest hire Lawrence Goldstein has been a revelation both on and off the court. He has bolstered the Corporation’s scoring attack with five goals this season and recently impressed CEO Sascha Puritz with his PowerPoint presentation on how the team can effectively reduce its overhead.
2. Poutine Machine owes the bulk of their success to the performance of goaltender Tim Brown. He has recorded four shutouts on the season to lead the league, including three in the team’s last four games. Brown is tied for second in the league with a 1.38 GAA.
3. In one of the season’s biggest upsets, Poutine Machine defeated the Denim Demons 1-0 in Week 3, proving the team can compete with the league’s elite. Another win against a Weyersberg Conference team would establish Poutine as a viable championship contender.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Majority shareholder “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin is not happy that Poutine Machine unveiled a new white alternate jersey last weekend.
Derek’s Pick: Poutine Machine. This week, they remove all doubt that they’re for real.
Watchability: 4 Provenchers. This scale is compensation to Jo-Ann, who did not actually lose to Arnold Sanchez in basketball. The media assumed this based on their genders.
Week 9 News and Notes
June 14th, 2011Trust Us, That’s Corey
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, Happy Little Elves. Hornswoggle netted two goals in the opening contest of the 2011 Fairy Tale Cup, helping the Elves to a 4-3 shootout win against the Unicorns. His second goal of the game came late in the second half, igniting a two-goal rally that forced overtime.
Second Star: Ariel Imas, Fresh Kills. Imas stayed in his own defensive zone for the majority of Fresh Kills’ game against the Sky Fighters. He blocked an onslaught of Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s shots from the point, holding the big Czech scoreless. In addition, Imas scored his team’s lone shootout goal as Fresh Kills tied the Sky Fighters 1-1.
First Star: Corey “Chongo” Winters, What The Puck. Chongo was informed just minutes before his game against the Corlears Hookers that he would be playing in between the pipes. Despite the short notice, Winters recorded his second shutout in just his third start of the season. Winters’ GAA of 0.67 would be first in the league if he met the minimum qualifying criteria.
Week 9 Box Scores
June 12th, 2011A Draaaaawwwww!
Sky Fighters 1, Fresh Kills 1 (OT-SO)
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (7)
Fresh Kills: Scott Lee (3)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (SKY) and Ariel Imas (FK).
What The Puck 1, Corlears Hookers 0
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald (2)
Shutout: Corey “Chongo” Winters (2)
Game Notes: MacDonald scored the only goal of the game with eight minutes remaining in regulation.
Happy Little Elves 4, Unicorns 3 (OT-SO)
Happy Little Elves: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos 2 (3), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (3)
Unicorns: Joe Polowczuk (6), Chris (3), Rod (2)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy
Shootout: Happy Little Elves win 2-0. Successful attempts by Gil Valdes and Ryan Nakahara
Cobra Kai 3, Gut Rot 2
Cobra Kai: Marc Beland (4), Adam Jacque (2), J.J. Murphy (1)
Gut Rot: Tom 2 (5)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang
Game Notes: Jacque’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with three minutes remaining in regulation.
Filthy Gorgeous 5, Dark Rainbows 3
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (4), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (5), Matt Novick (3), Jon Rick (1)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (3), P.T. Walkley (3), Sean Reynolds (1)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Game Notes: Malik’s game-winning goal broke a 3-3 tie with 2:30 remaining in regulation.
Mega Touch 6, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal 2 (7), Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (6), Joe Lops (2), Brett Oppedisano (1), Scott Rosenthal (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (5), Alex Derhohannesian (4), Nick Gardella (1)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman
LBS, Inc. 3, Mathematics 1
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 2 (6), Lawrence Goldstein (5)
Mathematics: Sean “$howJu” McClain (1)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Poutine Machine 5, Tompkins Square Riots 0
Poutine Machine: Vincent Tracy 2 (5), Ashish Nagpal (6), Joe Coccimiglio (3), Dave Paglia (1)
Shutout: Tim Brown (4)
La Famiglia 4, Butchers 0
La Famiglia: Dmitry Gurvits 2 (3), Denis Miciletto (9), Gabe Wilson (1)
Shutout: Kevin Au (1)
Denim Demons 2, Rehabs 1 (OT-SO)
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman (2)
Rehabs: Vinny Caruana (1)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon
Shootout: Denim Demons win 1-0. Successful attempt by Jeff Kamen.
