Week 7 Preview
May 12th, 2011The Rainbows Are Thrilled To Face What The Puck
GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (5-0-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (5-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 6-5
Game Notes: The top two teams in BTSH face off in a battle for first place in the Hackett Division. What The Puck’s offseason additions have assimilated into Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s game plan extremely quickly, resulting in a five-game winning streak. The team boasts the top offense in the league, averaging five goals a game, which is a full goal more than any other team. Despite the boost from the new arrivals, however, it is WTP’s cagey veteran, defender Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman, who has led the scoring with seven goals on the season. Unlike their opponents, the Dark Rainbows’ roster changed little during the offseason. As a result of this stability, the Rainbows opened the season with a four-game winning streak and have yielded the third fewest goals in BTSH. Goaltender John Meyer currently ranks fourth in the league with a 1.33 GAA, and he has not allowed more than two goals in a game this season. Meyer and the Rainbows will face their stiffest challenge to date when they go head to head with the relentless What The Puck offense this Sunday.
Keys To The Game:
1. What The Puck has used three different goaltenders this season, each winning at least one game for the team. This speaks to both the team’s versatility in having several capable options, as well as its raw ability to light up the scoreboard regardless of who’s between the pipes.
2. The Rainbows’ 3-2 win over Poutine Machine last week stands as a true testament to the team’s resiliency. Trailing by one late in the second half, the Rainbows scored twice in the last 4:30 to comeback against the MacNeil Division leaders.
3. As a special treat for fans of these two teams (yes, even What The Puck has fans), halftime will feature an exhibition game among the several dozen children who are usually in attendance at these teams’ games. Baby John Nielsen is expected to lead the Mini-Rainbows to victory.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. They look unstoppable right now.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. Mad Dog won’t rest until he wins the division.
Watchability: 5 Starks. These are the top two teams in the league. What else do you want?
Week 6 News and Notes
May 10th, 2011Do You Smell What Tommy Is Cooking?
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Myrto Mylopoulos, Tompkins Square Riots. Myrto scored the only shootout goal in the Riots’ win against the Unicorns, and we’re looking for any excuse to get this video on the site one more time.
Second Star: Joe Polowczuk, Unicorns/Rehabs. As a borrowed player, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves power structure, Joe recorded a hat trick to lead the Rehabs to their first victory of the season. In addition to giving his Fairy Tale Cup rivals a taste of things to come, Polowczuk also scored the game-tying goal in his own game for the Unicorns.
First Star: Tommy Capatosta, LBS, Inc. The Corporation’s Security Manager had all five of the team’s goals in LBS, Inc.’s 5-4 overtime win against the Sky Fighters. He has dubbed the accomplishment the “Capatostrick.”
Week 6 Box Scores
May 9th, 2011Dave Wants No Part Of This Celebration
Fresh Kills 4, Cobra Kai 3 (OT)
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky 2 (4), Justin “The Boss” Ross (4), Scott Lee (2)
Cobra Kai: Sarab Lalri 2 (6), Will Kuhns (2)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (on loan from Denim Demons)
Game Notes: Sokolyansky scored the winning goal in overtime.
Tompkins Square Riots 2, Unicorns 1 (OT-SO)
Tompkins Square Riots: Grant Mason (1)
Unicorns: Joe Polowczuk (5)
Shootout: Tompkins Square Riots win 1-0. Successful attempt by Myrto Mylopoulos.
Goalie Win: Dave Gil de Rubio
Dark Rainbows 3, Poutine Machine 2
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (4), Jon Rudd (2), Brad Thomason (1)
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (3), Brodie St. John (1)
Goalie Win: John Meyer
Game Notes: Thomason’s goal tied the game with 4:30 left in regulation time, and Rudd scored the game-winner with 30 seconds remaining.
Butchers 4, Gouging Anklebiters 1
Butchers: Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins 2 (2), Ben Bloom (7), “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis (2)
Gouging Anklebiters: Zach “Cryme Tyme” Weiner (1)
Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez
Rehabs 7, Happy Little Elves 5
Rehabs: Joe Polowczuk 3 (on loan from Unicorns), Rob Blandi 2 (3), Lateef Nurmohamed (2), Bryan “Stork” Welch (1)
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (4), Gil Valdes (5), Trevor Beauclair (3), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (1)
Goalie Win: Chris Brazee
Denim Demons 2, Mathematics 1
Denim Demons: Dave Shyu (2), Gordie Cohen (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (5)
Goalie Win: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon
Filthy Gorgeous 4, Corlears Hookers 1
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 2 (3), Matt Novick 2 (2)
Corlears Hookers: Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown (2)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
LBS, Inc. 5, Sky Fighters 4 (OT)
LBS, Inc.: Tommy Capatosta 5 (6)
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (6), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (5), Ansley Lingenheld (1), Cory Watkinson (1)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Game Notes: Capatosta scored the tying goal with two minutes remaining in regulation.
What The Puck 7, Mega Touch 3
What The Puck: Alex Doucette 2 (4), “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse 2 (3), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (7), Corey Winters (1), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (1)
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (5), Harvey Jaswal (5), Eric Devlin (3)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
La Famiglia 9, Gut Rot 2
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto 3 (6), Jon Fidge 3 (4), Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 2 (5), Angela Vicari (1)
Gut Rot: Gilligan1 (2), Gilligan2 (2)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Week 6 Preview
May 5th, 2011Nick Will Use His Intelligence To Beat Cobra Kai
GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (3-1-1) at Fresh Kills (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 7-1-1
Game Notes: Former division rivals renew acquaintances in this inter-conference battle. After suffering their first loss of the season, Cobra Kai responded last weekend with 6-1 thumping of the Tompkins Square Riots. Rookie linemates Sarab Lalri and Marc Beland combined for three of the goals. The duo has ignited the Dojo’s offense this season with seven of the team’s 12 goals. Fresh Kills also had a big win last weekend, as the team shutout the previously undefeated Corlears Hookers 2-0. The victory marked the team’s third win in a row and once again proved that captain Dave Sokolyansky and company belong in the Weyersberg Conference. In fact, despite the team’s promotion, Fresh Kills still boasts the second best offense in BTSH with 17 goals. However, this week may pose the stiffest test yet, as the offense will attempt to penetrate Cobra Kai’s second-ranked defense.
Keys To The Game:
1. Similar to years past, Fresh Kills sports one of the most balanced scoring attacks in the league. Eight different players have tallied at least one goal this season, with five of them scoring multiple times.
2. Goaltender Peter Lang and the Cobra Kai defense have surrendered just six goals in five games, good for second in the league. With the offense finally finding its groove last week against the Riots, the Dojo could be a legitimate dual threat going forward.
3. Last season, these teams split two fairly spirited contests, each winning 5-2. This will be their only regular season matchup of 2011, and both teams would like to win the rubber match.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills. They did beat Cobra Kai for the Donohue Division title last year.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. Experience triumphs over youth.
Watchability: 4 Sladeks. This will be a classic matchup of old school versus new school BTSH.
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Week 5 News and Notes
May 3rd, 2011Is Jesse Kalb The Next Elves Captain?
In order to right the ship after losses to What The Puck and Mega Touch, the Happy Little Elves made the drastic decision to appoint a guest captain for their Rubens Division matchup against the Denim Demons. After a grueling application process, regular captains “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick and Rich Glanzer based their choice on the outcome of a “skeetball” game. Thus, when Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino ousted Chadwick, he was given the reins to the team.
Employing the guest captain’s brilliant new strategy dubbed the TEDI (Tagliarino’s Elves Defensive Initiative), the Elves held the Demons scoreless through all of regulation and overtime. Unfortunately, the TEDI does not include any methods for scoring goals, so the Elves were also held off the score sheet. However, the Elves were ultimately victorious, when Tagliarino made the bold decision to put under-utilized and often overlooked flaxen-haired defender Trevor Beauclair in the shootout. The always modest Beauclair converted the final shootout attempt of the day, clinching the win for the Elves and Tagliarino.
After the success of Sunday’s guest captain (who retires undefeated from the position), Chadwick and Glanzer have already announced that they will continue to invite others to lead the team. Some of the rumored candidates include Jonathan “The Barnacle” Levine, Mike Smith, Anita Khar, Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi, Julie Katz, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer, Jesse Kalb, Karsten Pichon, and $h0wT!m3.
