Week 5 Box Scores
May 1st, 2011Cheer Up, Ken. The Corporation Won.
LBS, Inc. 3, Dark Rainbows 2 (OT-SO)
LBS, Inc.: Lawrence Goldstein (4), Karsten Pichon (4)
Dark Rainbows: Josh Wilson (3), John Nielsen (2)
Shootout: LBS, Inc. wins 1-0. Successful attempt by Goldstein.
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Game Notes: Pichon scored the tying goal with 20 seconds remaining in regulation.
What The Puck 6, Filthy Gorgeous 0
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (6), Garrett Poston (2), Hannah Stark (2), Brock Bosacker (1), “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (1)
Shutout: Corey “Chongo” Winters (1)
La Famiglia 2, Rehabs 1
La Famiglia: Alfred Liu (1), The Peter Wilson (1)
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed (1)
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Mathematics 4, Mega Touch 2
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (4), Adam Langer (1), Lilly Preston (1), Derek Tagliarino (1)
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (4), Harvey Jaswal (4)
Goalie Win: Joe Boshko
Game Notes: Langer’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with five minutes remaining in regulation.
Fresh Kills 2, Corlears Hookers 0
Fresh Kills: Ariel Imas (3), Matt Kazior (2)
Shutout: Dan Owens (on loan from Filthy Gorgeous)
Poutine Machine 3, Gut Rot 0
Poutine Machine: Ashish Nagpal 2 (4), Dave Kucharsky (2)
Shutout: Tim Brown (2)
Cobra Kai 6, Tompkins Square Riots 1
Cobra Kai: Sarab Lalri 2 (4), Marc Beland (3), Mark Talercio (2), Adam Jacque (1), Fay Wells (1)
Tompkins Square Riots: Alexandre Frenette (2)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown (on loan from Poutine Machine)
Sky Fighters 8, Gouging Anklebiters 0
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper 2 (5), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 2 (4), Brian Allen 2 (2), Robert Kucera (3), Greg Infanti (1)
Shutout: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (on loan from Corlears Hookers)
Butchers 3, Unicorns 0
Butchers: Ben Bloom 2 (6), Amanda Jenkins (2)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez (2)
Happy Little Elves 1, Denim Demons 0 (OT-SO)
Shutout: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (2), Shaun deLacy (1)
Shootout: Happy Little Elves win 1-0. Successful attempt by Trevor Beauclair.
Week 5 Preview
April 28th, 2011Everyone Wants A Piece Of The Rainbows
GAME OF THE WEEK
LBS, Inc. (2-1-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (4-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 7-6-1
Game Notes: Two BTSH mainstays clash in this highly anticipated Hackett Division matchup. Despite tallying three goals in each of its first two games, LBS, Inc. started the season slowly, earning just one point during this stretch. However, the defense buckled down, and the Corporation rebounded with wins against Filthy Gorgeous and the Tompkins Square Riots. The offense has largely revolved around the Ken-Karsten-Karen line (Poulin, Pichon, and Erickson), which has produced eight of the team’s 13 goals. Although the line previously had a nickname, the Corporation’s public relations department quickly nixed it due to negative press. For the Dark Rainbows, their early season returns have been overwhelmingly positive. At 4-0, they are one of three teams with four wins and boast the third best goal differential in BTSH. The team currently sits in first place in the extremely competitive Hackett Division, bolstered by divisional wins against the Sky Fighters and Fresh Kills. LBS, Inc. will be the Rainbows’ third Hackett game of the season. Can they remain undefeated in the division and overall?
Keys To The Game:
1. LBS, Inc. new hire Lawrence Goldstein has made a good early impression on his bosses with three goals on the season. As veterans Ken and Karsten see their pensions continue to grow, the Corporation will look to his leadership in the upcoming fiscal years.
2. Goaltender John Meyer has been sparkling between the pipes for the Dark Rainbows, allowing just four goals in four games. He already has one shutout on the season, and his steady performance has allowed captain Sean Reynolds to successfully implement his “run and chase” style of offense.
3. Reynolds recently made a shrewd mid-season pickup with the acquisition of Luisa Mirarchi, formerly of Cobra Kai. In addition to boosting his own team, Reynolds infuriated fellow Hackett Division captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer of What The Puck. Zimmer, who has always prided himself on being a step ahead of his peers, was busy scouting Rehabs defender Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli to bolster his blue line.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. May Day is John Nielsen’s favorite holiday.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. This win would officially propel the Rainbows back into BTSH’s elite.
Watchability: 4 Rudds. Both teams are playing great hockey right now, and divisional pride is at stake.
Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer
April 25th, 2011The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.
For winning the Survivor Pool for the second straight year [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #1], I get to make yet another guest column. Here it is:
This is the true story [Ed: Factual inaccuracy #2], of two strangers, picked to run a co-ed hockey team, work together, and get their asses kicked. Find out what happens when captains stop being polite, and start getting real. The real story of the Happy Little Elves.
In 2008, the Happy Little Elves were formed. Two men, one loved, and the other me, fought for control of the franchise. The tall one they call Ben Chadwick eventually won the power struggle (because he paid Bob W. the league fee, and I didn’t), and that is how the Happy Little Elves came into existence. Years later, many books, movies, and inaccurate stories on the BTSH website [Ed: Including this very guest column] detailed how the Elves went from Lime Green Losers to champions of the BTSH world. But finally the secret tapes came out as I knew they would, and the true story has finally been revealed.
How did I know the tapes would come out??? [Ed: Two of these question marks are superfluous] Well, I leaked it on my Facebook account a few months ago. But here are the secret conversations between Ben Chadwick and myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmF42fFSnLc
As you can see, the friction between the 2009 Duo of the Year, Ben Chadwick and myself, has not thawed. We hate each other as much as we did the first day when I said to him, “Hi, my name is Rich Glanzer, but you can call me Captain.”
However, we both agree on three things:
- The Simpsons is way better than Family Guy
- Jan Erixon would still be the best Ranger
- Shaun deLacey [sic] is a jerk, but he’s our jerk
Week 4 News and Notes
April 19th, 2011Joe Is Very Proud Of His Calves
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Joe Lops’ Calves, Mega Touch. Mega Touch had the upset of the day with their stunning 3-2 overtime win against the defending champion Happy Little Elves. Captain Julie Katz gives full credit to Lops’ calves, noting, “The team draws energy from them. We look to them for inspiration.” Lops had a hand in all three of his team’s scores with one goal and two assists.
Second Star: Alex Derhohannesian, Gouging Anklebiters. The Biters finally got off the schneid, defeating La Famiglia 4-3 in an overtime thriller. Derho tallied two goals in the contest, including the game-winner in OT to propel his team to its first victory this season.
First Star: Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns. Ug is starting to make this look too easy. LaCombe recorded his league-leading third shutout of the season on Sunday in the Unicorns’ 3-0 win against the Mathematics. He has now surrendered just one goal in the team’s first four games.
Week 4 Box Scores
April 17th, 2011Oh, Those Hartman Boys
What The Puck 5, Poutine Machine 3
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (4), Oliver Hartman (3), Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (3), Garrett Poston (1)
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (2), Vincent Tracy (2), Dave Kucharsky (1)
Goalie Win: Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz
Fresh Kills 4, Gut Rot 2
Fresh Kills: Mike Sokolyansky 2 (3), Dave Sokolyansky 2 (2)
Gut Rot: Len (1), Mark (1)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
LBS, Inc. 4, Tompkins Square Riots 2
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 2 (2), Karen Erickson (3), Karsten Pichon (3)
Tompkins Square Riots: Daniel Burns (2), Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (1)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Butchers 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Butchers: Ben Bloom 2 (4), Amanda Jenkins (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Chris Mangan (2)
Goalie Win: Eric Ramirez
Gouging Anklebiters 4, La Famiglia 3 (OT)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian 2 (3), Charles DeFranco (3), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (2)
La Famiglia: Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 2 (3), Denis Miciletto (3)
Goalie Win: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor
Game Notes: Derhohannesian scored the winning goal in overtime.
Denim Demons 1, Rehabs 0
Denim Demons: Lena Moy-Borgen (1)
Shutout: Aaron “Coach” Pagdon (1)
Dark Rainbows 3, Cobra Kai 1
Dark Rainbows: Josh Wilson (2), John Nielsen (1), Jon Rudd (1)
Cobra Kai: Sarab Lalri (2)
Goalie Win: John Meyer
Corlears Hookers 1, Sky Fighters 0
Corlears Hookers: Tiffany Hagge (1)
Shutout: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (2)
Unicorns 3, Mathematics 0
Unicorns: Joe (4), Caitlin (1), Ryan (1)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (3)
Mega Touch 3, Happy Little Elves 2 (OT)
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal (3), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (1), Joe Lops (1)
Happy Little Elves: Gil Valdes (4), Trevor Beauclair (2)
Goalie Win: Mike Tuckman
Game Notes: Jaswal scored the winning goal in overtime.
