Week 4 Preview
April 14th, 2011Poutine Machine Is Sitting Pretty
GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (2-0-1) at What The Puck (2-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: After a stunning win against the Denim Demons last week, Poutine Machine is looking to shock the league once again as the team prepares for its matchup against What The Puck. Although Poutine entered last week’s game against last season’s Prince of Weyersberg Cup champions as heavy underdogs, the team buckled down on defense and produced a 1-0 win. Defenseman Kevin MacDonald scored the lone goal late in the game, and goalie Tim Brown turned aside every Demons shot to preserve the victory. However, Brown and the Poutine defense will have their hands full once again this week against the offensive depth of Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s Orange Juggernaut. After losing their opening game to Fresh Kills in a shootout, What The Puck has performed as expected, producing quality wins against Gut Rot and the defending champion Happy Little Elves. After a brief adjustment period, it seems as though Mad Dog’s offseason acquisitions have become acclimated to their new team’s style of play. With What The Puck’s offense finally clicking, Brown will have to turn in another stellar performance for Poutine Machine to win.
Keys To The Game:
1. Rookie forward Ashish Nagpal leads Poutine Machine with two goals. He has already done an outstanding job in helping to fill the very big void left by the departure of “Double J” Jeff Jewett.
2. What The Puck’s Hartman brothers, Darrell and Oliver, each have two goals on the season. They are a critical part of What The Puck’s extremely balanced offense, which ranks third in BTSH.
3. Distant cousins Kevin MacDonald of Poutine Machine and What The Puck’s grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald have already had a budding rivalry since the MacDonald family reunion of 2003. Tom has always taken offense to Kevin’s insistence that the Toronto Blue Jays are superior to the Montreal Expos.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Forward Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth thinks poutine is delicious.
Derek’s Pick: Poutine Machine. I promised Jo-Ann I’d pick them if they beat the Demons last week. So.
Watchability: 4 Therriaults. This should be a true test to see if What The Puck is as good as everyone thinks, or if Poutine is better than everyone assumed.
Week 3 News and Notes
April 12th, 2011Surprise! Tim’s The First Star Of The Week
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Rachel “A-Korn” Greene, Butchers. In just her first year of organizing the event, Greene ran the highly successful 2011 Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament. We’re hoping she continues her efforts next season.
Second Star: Dan Hopper, Sky Fighters. The Sky Fighters’ Yinzer captain nearly recorded his first ever hat trick en route to his team’s 4-1 win against Gut Rot. Hopper finished with two goals in the game after already tallying one earlier in the day during his Mofo game. He celebrated the feat with an I.C. Light.
First Star: Tim Brown, Poutine Machine. In what may be the upset of the season to date, Brown shut out last year’s regular season champions, the Denim Demons. This came just a day after he was the winning goalie in the finals of the Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament (despite the notable handicap of having Rich Glanzer on his defense).
Week 3 Box Scores
April 10th, 2011Let’s Go Rangers!
Cobra Kai 2, Mathematics 0
Cobra Kai: Marc Beland (2), Sarab Lalri (1)
Shutout: Peter Lang (1)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang
Dark Rainbows 3, Rehabs 1
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (3), Jesse Gerstein (2), Josh Wilson (1)
Rehabs: Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (1)
Goalie Win: John Meyer
Tompkins Square Riots 5, Mega Touch 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Joe Fiore 2 (3), Daniel Burns (1), Caroline Samponaro (1), Craig Thompson (1)
Mega Touch: Eric Devlin (2)
Goalie Win: Dave Gil de Rubio
Corlears Hookers 2, Butchers 0
Corlears Hookers: Matt Zimmerman 2 (5)
Shutout: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson (1)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson
What The Puck 5, Happy Little Elves 4 (OT-SO)
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (2), Alex Doucette (2), Tom MacDonald (1)
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (2), Gil Valdes (3), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (2)
Shootout: What The Puck wins 2-1. Successful attempts by Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (WTP), Alex Doucette (WTP), and Gil Valdes (HLE).
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
Game Notes: Carrino scored the tying goal with one minute remaining in regulation.
Sky Fighters 4, Gut Rot 1
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper 2 (3), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (2), Robert Kucera (2)
Gut Rot: Tom (1)
Goalie Win: James Stein
Fresh Kills 6, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Fresh Kills: Ariel Imas 2 (2), Justin “The Boss” Ross (3), Mike Sokolyansky (1), Nick Hobbs (1), Matt Kazior (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco 2 (2)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
Poutine Machine 1, Denim Demons 0
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (1)
Shutout: Tim Brown (1)
Game Notes: MacDonald scored the game-winning goal with three minutes remaining in regulation.
Goalie Win: Tim Brown
LBS, Inc. 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
LBS, Inc.: Lawrence Goldstein (3), Karsten Pichon (2), Sam Anthony (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik (1)
Goalie Win: Seth Wachtell
Unicorns 1, La Famiglia 0 (OT)
Unicorns: Chris (2)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (2)
Goalie Win: Craig “Ug” LaCombe
Week 3 Preview
April 7th, 2011Everyone Loves The Whale!
GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (1-0-1) at Mathematics (1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 6-2
Game Notes: The once intense rivalry between Cobra Kai and the Mathematics has lost most of its luster over the past few seasons. With heavy turnover on both squads and the two teams sent packing to different divisions, their lone battle last season (a 4-3 OT win by the Dojo) seemed more like a formality of the schedule than a legitimate grudge match. However, with Cobra Kai and the Mathematics each making a strong push in the first couple of weeks of 2011, this feud may be ready for a resurrection. Although Cobra Kai could only muster a 1-1 tie against their Donohue Division foe, La Famiglia, on Opening Day, the team stunned the Rehabs 2-1 last week. Perhaps most notable about these two wins is the team’s vast improvement in defense in holding both opponents to just a goal. Last year, the team surrendered 56 goals during the regular season, which was third most in BTSH. The Mathematics also opened the season with a dissatisfying draw, 1-1 against Poutine Machine. However, like the Dojo, Math rebounded in Week 2 with an impressive 4-1 win against the Butchers. As Cobra Kai and the Mathematics both look to stay undefeated, which team will continue its upward trend, and which will come crashing back to Earth?
Keys To The Game:
1. Cobra Kai goalie Peter Lang has allowed one goal in each of his team’s first two games. However, the offense has only scored three goals. Until the offense steps up, Lang will need to maintain his stellar play.
2. The Mathematics’ injury-waiting-to-happen Bradley Schmidt has scored three goals in the team’s first two games, all in the second half. The team will once again rely on a clutch performance from him late in the game.
3. The anonymous Mathematics general manager has already warned the team to keep an eye out for Cobra Kai’s resident pie expert, Anita Khar. He stated in an e-mail to the team, “Anita can be a very dangerous scorer, so we have to keep her covered at all times. Of course, I’m much better than she is at ‘skeet ball.'”
Watchability: 4 Smiths. Rich Glanzer is very happy about this rating scale.
Week 2 News and Notes
April 5th, 2011Will There Be A Lockout?
As the BTSH collective bargaining agreement between team owners and players nears its expiration date, pundits have begun to talk seriously about a potential work stoppage.
Before signing a new agreement, team owners are pushing for four major changes. First, they want to extend the BTSH regular season by an additional two games. In exchange, pre-season scrimmages would be eliminated. Second, they would like a rookie wage scale. This would basically be known as the “Nick Hobbs Provision,” as Fresh Kills was forced to sign Hobbs to one of BTSH’s most lucrative contracts before he even played a game. As a result, his compensation has crippled their salary cap maneuverability for several seasons. Third, the owners demand a greater share of all league revenue. Tensions on this matter intensified when league manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta arrived at Tompkins Square Park in Week 1 driving his new Maserati. Fourth, owners would like to repeal players’ bonuses for breaches of contracts. This issue came up recently after noted Mathematics defender Justin “Ballard” Perras missed his team’s game last week, which violated the terms of his contract.
