Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer
July 5th, 2010The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.
While everyone knows I like to stay quiet and not comment much, I feel the need to speak up about a miscarriage of justice. Before I speak of this injustice, I want everyone to know how much this hurts me to say, since the two people that have besmirched our beloved BTSH, I used to consider friends.
Adriano Bratta and Ben Chadtrick (Chadwick) are both in the Survivor Pool. However, in Week 5, they, along with Jesse Kalb all lost. When it happened, I, along with the rest of the league, figured there would be no winner, and the champion would revert back to whoever won last. And that just so happens to be me.
There is precedence in this approach. If the three teams involved all tie, the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup is awarded to the team that held it the previous season. So, since all three players lost in Week 5, they should have all been eliminated, and I, Hockey Rich, should have been deemed champion once again.
But because BTSH turncoats Derek and Eli run the Survivor Pool, they decided to make up their own rules, and screw me of my deserved title.
I have to say that the original winner, Abby Meisterman, and I are true champions. We wouldn’t accept taking the title if we actually lost. Adriano and Ben are not worthy champions. They are only worthy of our league-wide scorn.
Good Day!!
Week 10 News and Notes
June 29th, 2010Congratulations To Your 2010 Fairy Tale Cup Champions!
After several grueling weeks of competition, a new team has emerged as the 2010 Fairy Tale Cup champions: the Dark Rainbows. With their 3-2 defeat of the 2008 and 2009 cup holders, the Unicorns, last Sunday, they have clinched this prestigious (yet imaginary) trophy.
Week 10 Box Scores
June 27th, 2010At Least One Demon Is Excited About The Win
Denim Demons 9, Corlears Hookers 1
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 4 (14), Mike Pereira 2 (10), Lauren Connolly (1), Noah Farkas (1), Miranda Kahn (1)
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (4)
Game Notes: Connolly and Kahn each scored their first BTSH goals.
Dark Rainbows 3, Unicorns 2
Dark Rainbows: Josh Wilson (3), Mike Dudolevitch (2), Michel Walkley (1)
Unicorns: Chris (3), Iannis (2)
Game Notes: The Dark Rainbows have clinched the Fairy Tale Cup with this win.
Mathematics 3, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Mathematics: Sean “$howJu” McClain 2 (3), Scott Lee (3)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Owen (3), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (2)
Fresh Kills 2, Butchers 1 (OT)
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross (7), Mike Sokolyansky (4)
Butchers: Gary Cohen (4)
Game Notes: Sokolyansky scored the game-winning goal 20 seconds into overtime.
Sky Fighters 9, Rehabs 2
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 2 (5), David Cernan 2 (4), Greg Infanti (5), Greg Cohan (4), Dan Hopper (4), Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (3), Lourdes Banez (1)
Rehabs: Alex Doucette (8), Gina Hackett (1)
Game Notes: Banez and Hackett each scored their first BTSH goals.
Filthy Gorgeous 4, What The Puck 2
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra 2 (8), Jean Hebert (1), Dana Kravis (1)
What The Puck: Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (7), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (4)
Poutine Machine 3, Happy Little Elves 2 (OT-SO)
Poutine Machine: Dave Paglia 2 (4)
Happy Little Elves: “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick (8), Gil Valdez (6)
Shootout: Poutine Machine wins 1-0. Successful attempt by Caitlin Riley.
Gut Rot 4, La Famiglia 3
Gut Rot: Scott 2 (4), Tom (2), Erica (1)
La Famiglia: Shafiq “Off-Black” Perry 2 (3), Diane Johnston (1)
Game Notes: Erica scored her first BTSH goal.
Mega Touch 3, Tompkins Square Riots 3 (OT-SO)
Mega Touch: Harvey Jaswal 2 (3), Eric Devlin (2)
Tompkins Square Riots: Craig Thompson 2 (4), Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (1)
Shootout: Shootout tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Joe Fiore (Riots) and Devlin.
LBS, Inc. 4, Cobra Kai 1
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 2 (9), Fernando Limonic (1), Phil Yang (1)
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy (7)
Week 10 Preview
June 24th, 2010Who Doesn’t Enjoy A Good Popsicle?
GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (7-1) at Corlears Hookers (5-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1
Game Notes: In the short time since the establishment of the Corlears Hookers in 2007, the Denim Demons have become one of their fiercest opponents. The rivalry took off in 2008 when the Demons became the first team to hand the Hookers a loss at Moffo. In 2009, the animosity intensified even further when league scheduler Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher assigned both teams to the same division (later named the Rubens), forcing them to face off twice in the regular season. The Hookers took the first of these games in Week 2, when they squeezed past the Demons with a 3-2 win in a shootout. In Week 19, the Hookers completed the season sweep with a 4-1 win. However, the Fightin’ Rubens had the last laugh, as they ultimately won the Rubens Division title and were the top seed in the playoffs. With both the Denim Demons and Corlears Hookers once again in the Rubens Division, they will duel twice more this season, with the second matchup taking place on September 26. As this rivalry opens a new chapter in its history, expect an intense game from both sides.
Keys To The Game:
1. After a string of four successive one-goal victories, the Demons won another close game last Sunday, 4-2 against Mega Touch. Their ability to come through in high-pressure situations will only serve them well against the veteran and talented Hookers.
2. Due to excessive absences and freak injuries, Jason Eitel has been a very small part of the Hookers’ offense this season. However, proud parent of Dutch’s niece, Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney has picked up the slack and leads the team with eight goals.
3. Congratulations to Denim Demon Steve Chernoski, who will be tying the knot on Saturday. Although he is happy to have several of his teammates in attendance for this joyous occasion, he may be in for an unexpected surprise. Unfortunately, when Chernoski requested to have “Rubens’ Rock” at the wedding, the DJ misunderstood him and will thus be playing only Steely Dan.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. I’m not quite sure what the state of the Demons will be after an intense night of partying.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. An intense game in the summer heat goes to the team with the deeper bench.
Watchability: 5 Chernoskis. May your first child be a masculine child.
Week 9 News and Notes
June 22nd, 2010Will Hurricane Sharif Hit NYC On August 1?
Although Summer has just begun, the BTSH calendar is rapidly filling up with special events and social festivities. Here is a look at what is upcoming:
August 1 – Old Timers’ Game. To commemorate BTSH’s 10-year anniversary, Randy Locklair of the Butchers is organizing an Old Timers’ Game. The game will feature long-standing veterans of the league, as well as a few retired players. Although none of the retired players have been confirmed as of yet, some of Randy’s targets include “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser, Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi, Brendan “Flounder” Hay, Molly Jacobs, Peter “Ski” Oblamski, and Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher.
August 8 – Farewell to Corlears & Johnsons Olympics. BTSH will return to Corlears Hook Park for one last hurrah before NYC converts it to a turf field. Relive some memories as you experience for the last time the joys of the heckle wall, peeing alongside the FDR, and celebrating a goal on the bird bath. After the games, head on over to Welcome to the Johnsons, where Phil “Sandy” Donohue (GA) and bartender Brent Smith will once again host the Johnsons Olympics. Just make sure you don’t accept any cupcakes from Minkus while there.
