Week 9 Box Scores
June 20th, 2010Dave Wishes You And Yours A Happy Father’s Day
Tompkins Square Riots 3, Poutine Machine 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Grant Mason 2 (4), Patrick Blohmé (6)
Poutine Machine: Dave Paglia (2)
Game Notes: Mason scored the game-winning goal with 2:30 remaining in regulation.
Dark Rainbows 5, Happy Little Elves 4
Dark Rainbows: P.T. Walkley (5), Lindsey Foehrenbach (2), Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo (1), Mike Dudolevitch (1), Jon Rudd (1)
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair 2 (10), “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick (7), Gil Valdez (5)
Game Notes: Dudolevitch refused to take part in any team huddles for fear that his team would haze him. The Happy Little Elves have been eliminated from contention for the Fairy Tale Cup.
Unicorns 2, Sky Fighters 1
Unicorns: Joe (4), Iannis (1)
Sky Fighters: Mark Bloom (4)
What The Puck 6, LBS, Inc. 2
What The Puck: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (3), Michelle Doucet (3), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (3), Ollie Hartman (1), Susanna Tenney (1)
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon (8), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (7)
Cobra Kai 6, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy 4 (6), Greg “Lysol” Altman (1), Porter Littlepage (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (3), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (2), Alex Owen (2)
Gut Rot 4, Butchers 3 (OT-SO)
Gut Rot: Scott (2), Len (1), Mike F. (1)
Butchers: Ben Bloom (5), Gary Cohen (3), Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (1)
Shootout: Gut Rot wins 2-1. Successful attempts by Scott (GR), Tom (GR) and Beth Costello (BUT).
Game Notes: Cohen scored the tying goal with eight minutes remaining in regulation.
Denim Demons 4, Mega Touch 2
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira 2 (8), Zack Tinkelman (10), “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau (1)
Mega Touch: Molly Brown (1), Greg Kellerman (1)
Game Notes: Brown scored her first BTSH goal.
Filthy Gorgeous 6, Mathematics 1
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (8), Sunny Mehra 2 (6), Suvin “The Guru” Malik (5), Joe “Monster Mash” Essock (3)
Mathematics: Adam Langer (1)
Game Notes: The Mathematics played the entire game shorthanded, as Sheena Otto was the only female in attendance.
Fresh Kills 2, Rehabs 1
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross (6), Mike Sokolyansky (3)
Rehabs: Alex Doucette (7)
Corlears Hookers 2, La Famiglia 1
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (3)
La Famiglia: Angela Vicari (1)
Week 9 Preview
June 17th, 2010Sven Is In No Mood To Deal With Bob Again
GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (3-3) at Tompkins Square Riots (4-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tompkins Square Riots lead 1-0
Game Notes: The top two teams in the MacNeil Division face off for the second time this season on Sunday. In the first meeting between Poutine Machine and the Tompkins Square Riots, the Riots blanked the Machine 5-0. Five different players scored a goal, while Dave Gil de Rubio recorded his only shutout of the season. However, Poutine captain Patrick “Sven” Larsen did not let the loss destroy his squad’s spirits. Since then, the team has split four games to stay within striking distance of the division lead. With a win on Sunday, Poutine Machine would split the season series with the Riots, but more important, move into a tie for first in the division.
Keys To The Game:
1. Poutine Machine currently ranks last in BTSH with only eight goals and has already been shutout twice this season (including Week 2 against the Riots). In order to win, Sven and Company will need to rediscover the offense they exhibited in Week 3, when they defeated Gut Rot 4-3.
2. Patrik Blohmé and Alexandre Frenette have combined to account for half of the Riots’ goals this season. One league member remarked last week that this Swedish-Canadian combo is reminiscent of Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic when they led the Avalanche to two Stanley Cup championships.
3. Poutine Machine’s Kevin MacDonald has an unusual way of getting amped prior to every game. He eats a complete breakfast, begins stretching 20 minutes before the opening whistle, and listens to rock songs on his iPod.
Eli’s Pick: Tompkins Square Riots. This game will be closer than their first matchup, but in the end, the Riots sweep the season series.
Derek’s Pick: No pick. Derek will be reffing this game.
Watchability: 3.5 Blohmés. Both of these new teams are still trying to establish a name for themselves.
Week 8 News and Notes
June 16th, 2010With These Two In Charge, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Due to consistent underappreciation and limited access to the league power structure, the goalies of BTSH are in the initial stages of forming a union. As labor conditions continue to deteriorate and goalies have become just an afterthough in league policymaking, this union will finally give the netminders a united front to protect their interests. Cobra Kai’s Peter Lang, who is the founder of the movement, notes, “Goalies get no respect in this league. We’re the ones wearing pounds of equipment in the 90 degree heat, and no one cares.” The Mathematics’ Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez, who is Lang’s second in command, adds, “This collaboration is necessary as our plight continues to be exacerbated under the tyrannical rule of the BTSH despots.”
Week 8 Box Scores
June 13th, 2010Rod Has A Big Tongue
What The Puck 2, Happy Little Elves 1
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (4)
Happy Little Elves: Jenna Cruff (1)
Game Notes: MacDonald’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with ten minutes remaining in regulation.
Denim Demons 2, Filthy Gorgeous 1 (OT)
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira (6), Bob DiProspero (4)
Filthy Gorgeous: Joe Pereira (2)
Game Notes: Mike Pereira scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
Mathematics 3, Mega Touch 2
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt 2 (4), Justin “Ballard” Perras (1)
Mega Touch: Jonathan Hanson (2), Harvey Jaswal (1)
Cobra Kai 5, Fresh Kills 2
Cobra Kai: Mark Talercio (5), Scott Rice (3), Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (2), Bryan Niddrie (2), Luisa Mirarchi (1)
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky (4), Nick Hobbs (2)
Sky Fighters 5, LBS, Inc. 2
Sky Fighters: Mark Bloom 2 (3), David Cernan 2 (2), Alice DuBois (1)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 2 (6)
Tompkins Square Riots 5, Gut Rot 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Alexandre Frenette 3 (4), Patrick Blohmé 2 (5)
Gut Rot: Tom (1)
Dark Rainbows 3, Corlears Hookers 2
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 2 (8), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (1)
Corlears Hookers: Josh “Doc” Sadlier-Brown (2), Noelle “Slapshot” Safar (2)
Rehabs 3, Butchers 1
Rehabs: “Con” Ed Lau 2 (2), Alex Doucette (6)
Butchers: Gary Cohen (2)
Poutine Machine at Unicorns (PPD)
Game Notes: Game postponed due to “rain fears.”
La Famiglia at Gouging Anklebiters (PPD)
Game Notes: Game postponed due to “rain fears.”
Week 8 Preview
June 10th, 2010Can The Elves Upset What The Puck Once Again?
GAME OF THE WEEK
What The Puck (5-0) at Happy Little Elves (4-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: High-octane offenses will collide, as the top two scoring teams in BTSH face off in a Weyersberg Conference showdown this Sunday. What The Puck has lit the lamp an impressive 28 times this season, good for second most in the league. However, with one fewer game played than a majority of the league, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut ranks first in per game scoring. Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. and Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer lead a balanced attack with six and five goals, respectively. The Happy Little Elves lead all of BTSH with an astounding 31 tallies through six games. Rookie Trevor Beauclair has quickly made his presence known with his team-leading eight goals, which also ranks him second in the league. Even more stunning are the six goals from Elves captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick. With both teams averaging more than five goals per game, expect a lot of offense in this brightly colored battle.
Keys To The Game:
1. As a by-product of their prolific scoring, What The Puck and the Elves are also ranked one and two in goal differential. However, WTP’s defense and goaltending have been stingier, as it has allowed the second fewest goals in the league, even on a per game basis.
2. The Happy Little Elves stunned the league in Week 22 of the 2009 season with a 7-1 thrashing of What The Puck at Moffo. This outcome prevented What The Puck from clinching the coveted Prince of Weyersberg Trophy. The win, however, did not help the Elves to gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
3. Unhappy with recent acquisition Jeremy Roenick crying on national television, What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has exercised his option to rescind last week’s trade that saw Corey “Chongo” Winters go to the Winnipeg Jets. Winters will take over Roenick’s place on the third line with grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald and Lisa Harrington.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. They’ve scored at least five goals in each game, and I don’t see the Elves getting six or more here.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. The normally carefree What The Puck players will have revenge on their minds.
Watchability: 4 Beauclairs. Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz’s wild antics and unorthodox goaltending style are worth a Beauclair on their own.
