Week 7 News and Notes
June 8th, 2010Somewhere, James Stein Is Crying
This past Sunday, Craig “Ug” LaCombe of the Unicorns hosted BTSH’s first Sega NHL 94 tournament to benefit Kelly Buchanan. With nearly 40 participants, the event was a rousing success. The afternoon and evening featured several intense rounds of play, but in the end, two competitors remained: Josh Feldman, the brother of someone in the scrimmage group (no relation to Rehabs instigator Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman, however), and Jay Rosenberg, Rachel “A-Korn” Greene’s former co-worker.
The final consisted of a best of three series with Feldman controlling the New York Rangers and Rosenberg controlling the Vancouver Canucks, thus mimicking the actual 1994 Stanley Cup Final. After a solid victory in the first game, Feldman clinched first place with an amazing third period comeback in the second. At the end of the night, Feldman returned $75 of his winnings, while Rosenberg returned his full second place prize of $20.
Week 7 Box Scores
June 7th, 2010The Demons’ New Player Really Wants To Be On LBS, Inc.
Denim Demons 4, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (9), Danny Polinsky (2), Brad Weiger (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian 3 (7)
Game Notes: After his team fell behind 3-0, Derhohannesian scored three unanswered goals to tie the game with six minutes remaining in regulation. However, Tinkelman scored the game-winning goal with just two minutes left.
Corlears Hookers 3, Unicorns 2
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney 2 (8), Libby Lewis (2)
Unicorns: Joe (3), Aaron (1)
Game Notes: Kearney scored the game-winning goal with four minutes remaining in regulation, just one minute after Aaron scored for the Unicorns to tie the game at 2.
Happy Little Elves 5, La Famiglia 3
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair 3 (8), “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick (6), Ryan Nakahara (3)
La Famiglia: Roger Ma (4), The Peter Wilson (2), Dmitry Gurvits (1)
Sky Fighters 3, Butchers 2
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (3), Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (2), Robert Kucera (1)
Butchers: Ben Bloom (4), Jesse Kalb (1)
LBS, Inc. 8, Rehabs 4
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 3 (7), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin 2 (4), Jason Bogdaneris 2 (3), Tom Capatosta (2)
Rehabs: Alex Doucette 2 (5), Adam Skuse (4), Jeff Nugent (1)
Cobra Kai 4, Mathematics 3 (OT)
Cobra Kai: Scott Rice 2 (2), J.J. Murphy (2), Bryan Niddrie (1)
Mathematics: Scott Lee (2), Sean “$howJu” McClain (1), Meagan Vincent (1)
Game Notes: Lee scored the tying goal with six minutes remaining in regulation. Rice scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
Dark Rainbows 3, Gut Rot 2
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 2 (6), P.T. Walkley (4)
Gut Rot: Scott (1), Veronica (1)
Game Notes: Nielsen’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with five minutes remaining in regulation.
Poutine Machine 1, Mega Touch 0
Poutine Machine: Dave Paglia (1)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez
What The Puck 6, Tompkins Square Riots 0
What The Puck: Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (6), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (5), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (4), Brian Vroom (3), Michelle Doucet (2), Corey “Chongo” Winters (2)
Shutout: Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz (1)
Filthy Gorgeous 5, Fresh Kills 2
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 3 (6), Sunny Mehra (4), Joe “Monster Mash” Essock (2)
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross 2 (5)
Week 7 Preview
June 3rd, 2010Chuck Has A Lot On His Mind
GAME OF THE WEEK
Gouging Anklebiters (4-1) at Denim Demons (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: Upon hearing that the media would promote his matchup against the Denim Demons as the Game of the Week, the normally reserved Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters went off on one of his now infamous rants about his opponents:
Adam is a legend only in his own mind, Abby has too much dirty laundry, Steve is a Devils fan, Lena hates puppies, Jeff is out of the country, Zack’s dad always gets in the way, Gabby wears too much red, Emily doesn’t wear enough red, Brad is not sexy, Aaron can’t play the drums, Tara sings off key, Danny’s cooking sucks, Bob disgusts me, Lauren is an elitist, Miranda isn’t civic-minded, Mike only plays for personal stats, Dave needs a shower, Connie drives too slowly, Bill is not a sweetie, Val cried during Baseketball, Dez is frequently truant, Noah chews with his mouth open, and Sara has never watched The A-Team. As for Jim, there’s nothing bad I can say about him.
When reached for comment, Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens was reportedly not pleased with DeFranco’s remarks. However, teammate “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau was elated.
Keys To The Game:
1. Since vicious hazing allegations against the Gouging Anklebiters were made public prior to Week 2, the team has reeled off four consecutive victories, including a seven-goal output against Cobra Kai.
2. Despite the absence of last season’s team scoring leader, Jeff Kamen, the Denim Demons have had no trouble finding the back of the net this year. They are third in the league with 19 goals, a league-leading seven of which are from forward Zack Tinkelman.
3. Denim Demon newcomer Bob DiProspero is quickly making a case for himself to be the Little Chernoski Demon Achiever for top rookie on the team. He has already scored three goals this season and also tallied a shootout goal against the arch-rival Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Rubens is clearly incensed by DeFranco’s comments and has vowed to kill the legend of his trash-talking.
Watchability: 4 Derhohannesians. With both teams on hot streaks, neither will want to lose any momentum.
Guest Columnist: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens
May 31st, 2010The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.
World Cup Primer
Background: The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on Earth. Bigger than the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Ten times bigger than the Super Bowl. And this year, it’s projected to narrowly edge out the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in total viewership, tickets sold, and Jäger shots consumed in a fit of euphoric cheer and obliviousness to later side effects.
The qualification process for this summer’s four week bazaar has already taken place over the last three years, with some teams traveling more than 20,000 miles. This process (which takes longer than riding the G train from Williamsburg to Park Slope) weeds out some of the lesser teams and brings the best 32 into the tournament. Naturally, I’m still perplexed at how Papua New Guinea just missed out on this year’s tournament.
Week 6 News and Notes
May 25th, 2010Long Weekends Make The Planet Smile
With Memorial Day marking the unofficial start to the summer season, the holiday is traditionally associated with barbeques, parades, family gatherings, and sporting events. Thus, as BTSH approaches this highly anticipated weekend, the media conducted a league-wide survey to gauge people’s plans for their day off from hockey. Some of the notable responses are after the jump.
