Week 6 Box Scores
May 23rd, 2010Dude, Where’s My Hair?
Flowing Locks 6, Balding Furies 1
Flowing Locks: Jason Eitel 2, “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick, Christopher DiMotta, Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri, Dan Thompson
Balding Furies: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta
Sky Fighters 3, Dark Rainbows 2 (OT)
Sky Fighters: Greg “Mr. August” Cohan 3 (3)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (4), P.T. Walkley (3)
Game Notes: Cohan scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
Denim Demons 3, Unicorns 2
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (7), Danny Polinsky (1)
Unicorns: Chris (2), Lindsay (1)
Happy Little Elves 9, Cobra Kai 3
Happy Little Elves: Rob “Smash” Muggeo 3 (3), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos 2 (4), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri 2 (2), Trevor Beauclair (5), Gil Valdez (4)
Cobra Kai: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (1), Mark Kleinkecht (1), J.J. Murphy (1)
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves maintain possession of the Barnacle Bowl.
Filthy Gorgeous 4, LBS, Inc. 1
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira (3), Caroline Currie (1), Joe “Monster Mash” Essock (1), Joe Pereira (1)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (2)
La Famiglia 3, Tompkins Square Riots 1
La Famiglia: Roger Ma 2 (3), Denis Miciletto (4)
Tompkins Square Riots: Craig Thompson (2)
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Gut Rot 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (4), Sarah Moore (2), Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato (1)
Gut Rot: Jefferson (2)
Fresh Kills 4, Mathematics 0
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross (3), Dave Sokolyansky (3), Patrick Moore (1), Eugene Rha (1)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (3)
Butchers 4, Poutine Machine 1
Butchers: Ben Bloom 3 (3), Gary Cohen (1)
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (1)
Rehabs 1, Mega Touch 0
Rehabs: Adam Skuse (3)
Shutout: Anthony Romeo (1)
Week 6 Preview
May 20th, 2010Dan Hopper Is Having The Best Week Ever
GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (1-2-0-1) at Sky Fighters (2-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
Game Notes: Past champions collide in this highly anticipated Hackett Division battle. The Dark Rainbows struggled to open the season, with losses to the Unicorns, What The Puck, and Gouging Anklebiters. However, they are now coming off an impressive 4-2 win against the Happy Little Elves in a Fairy Tale Cup matchup. 2009 team scoring leader John Nielsen led the way in this contest with two goals, including the game-winner. The Sky Fighters were also slow out of the gate, as they too lost to What The Puck and the Unicorns. However, they have turned things around with back to back shutouts of Mega Touch and Poutine Machine. With both teams coming off of momentum-building wins, this matchup looks a lot better than it did a week ago.
Keys To The Game:
1. Although the Dark Rainbows are tied for most goals against in BTSH, goalie John Meyer played impressively last Sunday, holding the Happy Little Elves’ potent offense to only two.
2. Sky Fighters netminder James Stein has not allowed a goal in more than 100 minutes of play. How long can he continue this hot streak?
3. Due to attendance issues last week, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper almost had to break out his patented “50 Minutes of Martin” strategy. However, with an extra player showing up five minutes into the game, Martin played just a scant 40 minutes instead.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. They’ve gotten rid of all of their offseason rust.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. I’ll go with the more recent champions.
Watchability: 4 Abdos
Week 5 News and Notes
May 18th, 2010Shafiq Needs To Iron His Shirt
In an attempt to boost overall revenue for the league, new league manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta has instituted an aggressive sales plan for BTSH merchandise. Reports for the first few weeks of the season are now in, and there are already several interesting trends. Here is a closer look at the top-sellers in both the apparel and non-apparel categories:
Week 5 Box Scores
May 16th, 2010The Shyu Fits
Denim Demons 2, Rehabs 1 (OT-SO)
Denim Demons: Dave Shyu (1)
Rehabs: Alex Doucette (3)
Shootout: Denim Demons win 2-1. Successful attempts by Bob DiProspero (DD), Shyu (DD) and Doucette (REH).
Game Notes: Doucette scored the tying goal with two minutes remaining in regulation.
Fresh Kills 2, LBS, Inc. 1 (OT)
Fresh Kills: Brice Rosenbloom (2), Natasha Sweeten (1)
LBS, Inc.: Jason Bogdaneris (1)
Game Notes: Sweeten scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
La Famiglia 2, Unicorns 1
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto (3), The Peter Wilson (1)
Unicorns: Courtney (1)
Dark Rainbows 4, Happy Little Elves 2
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 2 (3), Josh Wilson (2), Sean Reynolds (1)
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair (4), Gil Valdez (3)
Game Notes: Nielsen’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with six minutes remaining in regulation.
Corlears Hookers 3, Filthy Gorgeous 2
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (6), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (2), Brendan “Dutch” Kearney (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra (3), Matt Novick (1)
Game Notes: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with nine minutes remaining in regulation.
Gouging Anklebiters 7, Cobra Kai 3
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian 3 (3), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (1), Nick Gardella (1), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (1), Peter “Geech” Prohaska (1)
Cobra Kai: Enayet “Retail” Rasul 2 (2), Mark Talercio (4)
Mega Touch 2, Gut Rot 1
Mega Touch: Danny Canarick (1), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (1)
Gut Rot: Gilligan (1)
Tompkins Square Riots 3, Mathematics 1
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohmé (3), Joe Fiore (2), Grant Mason (2)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (2)
Sky Fighters 6, Poutine Machine 0
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti 2 (4), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (3), Danielle Block (1), Mark Bloom (1), Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (1)
Shutout: James Stein (2)
What The Puck 5, Butchers 2
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (2), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (4), Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (3), Jennifer Hale (1)
Butchers: Mike Mincieli (1), Eric Ramirez (1)
Week 5 Preview
May 13th, 2010Everyone’s Excited For Rehabs-Demons!
GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Rehabs (2-1) at Denim Demons (2-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 6-6-1
Game Notes: For as long as the Rehabs and Denim Demons have been in BTSH, their rivalry has been one of the bitterest and most intense in the league. However, numerous events this offseason have led to a thaw in their once frosty relationship. The animosity began to dissipate when Demon veteran (and Stacy S. Kehoe award winner) Abby Meisterman allowed long time Rehab Stacy S. Kehoe to borrow her hockey stick during a scrimmage. The Rehabs reciprocated the goodwill when team firecracker Gina Hackett offered Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens a swag bag of Rehabs merchandise (including a t-shirt, bandana, Romeo Shampoo, Mike Bartlett Cupcake mix, and a Villano Edition iPod). Rubens was reportedly “totally amped” over the gesture. The Rehabs’ generosity continued when known agitator and instigator Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman sent the Demons a care package of fine China to replace the plates he broke in a 2007 clubhouse raid. These teams buried the hatchet once and for all during a black-tie mixer, hosted by Bryan “Stork” Welch of the Rehabs and “Hacksaw” Jim Dandaneau of the Demons. Aaron “Coach” Pagdon and Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli were coronated as the king and queen of the event.
Keys To The Game:
1. Though his attendance has been inconsistent since joining the Rehabs, Adam Skuse has averaged more than a goal per game. If he plays, the Demons’ defense will have to monitor him closely.
2. Denim Demon forwards Mike Pereira and Zack Tinkelman are tied for the league lead with five goals each. However, Tinkelman’s father, Joe, is not happy about his son’s transition from a shutdown defender to an offensive dynamo.
3. Both of these teams are coming off of three-goal losses to a Rubens Division opponent. Despite the newfound congeniality between the squads, they will both be playing hard to get back on the winning track.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs. According to Ellery, the Demons suck, and he’s the most reliable source I know.
Watchability: 5 Khars. “Hey guys, come to my game! There’s going to be pie!”
