Week 3 Preview
April 22nd, 2010The Media Is Always Watching You
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (1-0-0-1) at Unicorns (2-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Both the Happy Little Elves and the Unicorns teams enter this critical Fairy Tale Cup contest coming off of impressive wins. Last Sunday, the Elves stunned the Corlears Hookers 7-4 to open their five-game road trip. “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick led his team by example with two second-half goals, while Rich Glanzer made the smart coaching decision not to play himself for the second straight week. Meanwhile, the Unicorns knocked off the defending champion Sky Fighters in a hard-fought 4-3 victory. After shutting out the Dark Rainbows on opening day, goaltender Craig “Ug” LaCombe played spectacularly once again and fended off a barrage of shots (mostly from Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka) to preserve the win. With both the Elves and Unicorns looking sharp early on, this game will not only be key in deciding the Fairy Tale Cup, but also the Hackett Division.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Elves have had a propensity for late game heroics this season, as a last minute goal by Garrett “Ax” Carrino salvaged a point against the Rehabs, and five second half goals (including the two by Chadwick) flipped a 3-2 deficit into the win against the Hookers.
2. Unicorns free agent acquisition Joe has scored a goal in each of his team’s first two games. He is stepping in well to fill the shoes of key losses Nelson and “Biff” (Ted).
3. The Elves defeated the Unicorns last season, prompting Rich Glanzer and “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick to believe that they had won the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. However, the win actually forced a three-way tie in the series, ironically allowing the Unicorns to maintain possession. Glanzer still does not understand this concept.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. Sorry, Rich.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I’ve heard rumors that Chris “Crush” O’Neil will be back for this week, making the Elves even more dangerous.
Watchability: 4 Clavicles
Week 2 News and Notes
April 20th, 2010ACS Tournament Coming May 1
On Saturday May 1st, the Rehabs’ own “Con” Ed Lau will once again host his annual street hockey tournament to benefit the American Cancer Society. It will take place from 9 AM to 3 PM at Moffo Rink in lower Manhattan. To play, all you need to do is donate a minimum of $30 and sign a waiver upon arrival. If you and a friend each donate $60 per person, both of you can be placed on the same team. Otherwise, the teams will be created in a manner that distributes the talent evenly.
As usual, Ed stresses that “THIS IS A NON-CONTACT EVENT WITH NO SLAPSHOTS AND NO TOLERANCE FOR AGGRESSION”. Remember, we’re all playing for charity!
Online registration is strongly encouraged as a receipt will be issued to you directly, and there is the potential for employer donation matching. To date, the tournament has raised more than $10,000, and Ed expects to crack the $16,000 barrier this year.
For more information, contact “Con” Ed Lau or Liza Watts.
Week 2 Box Scores
April 18th, 2010The Rehabs Are Clearly Happy With Their Win
Rehabs 5, Mathematics 1
Rehabs: Adam Skuse 2 (2), Alex Doucette (2), Tom Houston (2), Rob Blandi (1)
Mathematics: Scott Lee (1)
Happy Little Elves 7, Corlears Hookers 4
Happy Little Elves: Trevor Beauclair 2 (2), “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick 2 (2), Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos 2 (2), Ryan Nakahara (2)
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney 2 (3), Dan Thompson (2), Libby Lewis (1)
Filthy Gorgeous 3, LBS, Inc. 1
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 2 (2), “Gentleman” James Pereira (1)
LBS, Inc.: Tom Capatosta (1)
Gut Rot 2, Fresh Kills 1 (OT-SO)
Gut Rot: Jefferson (1)
Fresh Kills: Mike Sokolyansky (2)
Shootout: Gut Rot wins 1-0. Successful attempt by Cristopher.
Game Notes: Sokolyansky scored the tying goal with seven minutes remaining in regulation.
Unicorns 4, Sky Fighters 3
Unicorns: Joe (2), Chris (1), Jeanne (1), Ryan (1)
Sky Fighters: Greg Infanti (2), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (1), Dan Hopper (1)
Denim Demons 6, La Famiglia 3
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 4 (5), Bob DiProspero 2 (3)
Tuques: Denis Miciletto 2 (2), Shafiq “Off Black” Perry (1)
Gouging Anklebiters 2, Butchers 1 (OT-SO)
Gouging Anklebiters: Sarah Moore (1)
Butchers: Arnold Sanchez (1)
Shootout: Gouging Anklebiters win 1-0. Successful attempt by Alex Derhohannesian.
Cobra Kai 3, Mega Touch 1
Cobra Kai: Will Kuhns 2 (4), Mark Talercio (2)
Mega Touch: Joe Lops (3)
Tompkins Square Riots 5, Poutine Machine 0
Tompkins Square Riots: Patrik Blohmé (2), Shane-o DeBlasio (1), Joe Fiore (1), Alexandre Frenette (1), Myrto Mylopoulos (1)
Shutout: Dave Gil de Rubio (1)
Game Notes: Mylopoulos scored her first BTSH goal.
What The Puck 6, Dark Rainbows 3
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2 (2), Brian Vroom 2 (2), Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (2), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (2)
Dark Rainbows: Lindsey Foehrenbach (1), P.T. Walkley (1), Josh Wilson (1)
Week 2 Preview
April 15th, 2010Maybe This Is Why Anita Left
GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Mathematics (0-0-0-1) at Rehabs (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-0-1
Game Notes: Due to a flurry of offseason player movement between the Mathematics and Rehabs, this once friendly rivalry has become a lot more intense. The Mathematics struck the first blow with the additions of league sideshow Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez and Sean “$howJu” McClain. While both served as key components of the Rehabs’ offensive attack last season, the Mathematics targeted Melendez for his goaltending skills and their own amusement. In retaliation for these acquisitions, the Rehabs added former Mathematic Anita Khar to their roster. Although Khar’s ice hockey background makes her one of the top female players in the league, the Rehabs may have added her to fill the tomfoolery void left by $howT!m3 and $howJu’s departures.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite losing their opener to Poutine Machine in a shootout, the Mathematics controlled the majority of play throughout the game. They will need to maintain this control to beat the explosive Rehabs.
2. While the Rehabs were victorious in overtime against the Happy Little Elves last week, they blew leads of 2-0 and 3-2. This may play to the Mathematics’ strength, as the team overcame several halftime deficits last season, in addition to one last week.
3. This game marks the culmination of a week-long birthday celebration for Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez. Other events include a flip-cup tournament, a piñata, and an ice cream social.
Watchability: 4.5 $howJus. The personalities on both sides of the ball should make this a very exciting game.
Week 1 News and Notes
April 13th, 2010Anklebiters Under Investigation
BREAKING NEWS – BTSH.org has just been notified that the league’s new Disciplinary Committee manager, Haanwa Chau, has launched a formal investigation regarding potential hazing violations committed by the Gouging Anklebiters. Although it is suspected that these infractions have actually gone on for several years, it seems the former DC manager, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, never pursued any complaints. Part of Chau’s investigation will thus include a review of whether Schumacher himself has or had any ties to these allegations as well.
Several witnesses have testified that they saw two Anklebiter rookies, as well as one veteran, in Parkside Lounge on Friday sporting embarrassing and demeaning costumes that the senior members of the team forced them to wear. Despite these personal accounts, team captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue remains adamant in his stance that his team has done no wrong. He comments, “I fully anticipate that upon completion of this investigation, we will be absolved of all charges.” Your humble correspondants will continue to track this story as it unfolds.
