btsh.org

The Sky Fighters Have Wiiings

#3 LBS, Inc. (16-4-0-1) vs. #7 Sky Fighters (15-7)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 8-3
2009 Result: Week 2 – Sky Fighters 3, LBS, Inc. 1; Week 16 – LBS, Inc. 5, Sky Fighters 0
Game Notes: This rubber match between Schloeder Division rivals LBS, Inc. and the Sky Fighters will also determine one of the four semifinalists for the BTSH championship.  LBS, Inc. cruised to the second round with a 4-0 shutout of Cobra Kai.  BTSH regular season scoring champion Karsten Pichon notched a hat trick, while goalie Seth Wachtell earned the shutout.  The Sky Fighters faced a much stiffer test in the first round, as the had to outlast the Unicorns in an overtime thriller.  Superstar defender and polo shirt enthusiast Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka played the entire game, and he assisted on the game’s only goal.  Goalie James Stein recorded the shutout after stopping a barrage of second half shots, when his team was beginning to tire.  With the Corporation’s fourth ranked offense poised to put a lot more pressure on Stein and his defense, the Sky Fighters will have to score more than one goal if they wish to advance to the semi-finals.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Polo shirts are the Corporation’s gimmick.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc.  Karsten continues his assault on opposing goalies.
Watchability: 4 Anthonys

Who’s More Gorgeous?

#4 Corlears Hookers (15-3-1-2) vs. #5 Filthy Gorgeous (16-5-1)
Location: Corlears East, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 4-0
2009 Result: Week 10 – Corlears Hookers 2, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Game Notes: This quarterfinal battle is a rematch from the 2008 BTSH semifinals, when the Corlears Hookers defeated Filthy Gorgeous 4-2 to advance to the championship game.  The Hookers have controlled the series between these two teams, winning all four matchups, although none of their victories has been by more than a two-goal margin.  Last week, they won another close game on the strength of Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson’s strong performance between the pipes.  Although the Hookers offense was only able to record two goals against the inspired Tuques, Olson ensured the victory with a shutout.  Filthy Gorgeous advanced to the quarterfinals in a similar fashion.  Goaltender Dan “D.O.” Owens recorded a shutout of his own in the team’s opening round 4-0 victory over the Gouging Anklebiters.  With leading scorer “Gentleman” James Pereira absent, Filthy’s second ranked offense was held in check until the closing minutes, when the team logged two empty net goals.  With Olson and Owens both playing at the top of their games, goals will be at a premium as these teams write the next chapter in their bitter rivalry.
Eli’s Pick: No pick.  Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Everyone knows they don’t lose until the championship game.
Watchability: 5 Russos

SCOTT!!!

#1 Denim Demons (15-2-2-3) vs. #11 Fresh Kills (10-10-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5
2009 Result: Week 10 – Denim Demons 4, Fresh Kills 1; Week 22 – Denim Demons 4, Fresh Kills 2
Game Notes: Although the Demons swept the regular season series against their Rubens Division rival Fresh Kills and entered the playoffs as the number one seed, they are not a heavy favorite in this matchup.  The Demons advanced to the second round with a solid 5-2 victory over the Mathematics, led by team scoring leader Jeff Kamen’s hat trick.  However, they will be without Kamen’s services for the remainder of the playoffs as he pursues a Master’s degree in Israel.  Thus, the team will need to look to other sources for their offense.  Mike Pereira and Zack Tinkelman are the team’s next leading scorers with 10 and 9 goals, respectively.  Micael Holmström also had six goals on the season, but, like Kamen, he too is abroad.  Much like last year, Fresh Kills entered the playoffs with a double-digit seed and a huge chip on its shoulder.  However, the defending champions continued their playoff run as they pulled off the biggest upset of the first round by defeating the 2007 champion Dark Rainbows.  The Fresh Kills defense and goalie Dave Gil de Rubio kept the high-powered Rainbows offense off the board until late in the game when the team was already leading by three.  If Fresh Kills can take advantage of the Demons’ absences, the league may see another major upset.
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons.  After bowing out in the quarterfinals the past three seasons, the Demons finally break through.
Derek’s Pick: No pick.  Derek will be reffing this game.
Watchability: 4.5 Curries

Brace Yourselves For A Hale Stark Storm

#2 What The Puck (17-5) vs. #8 Rehabs (12-6-1-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-5
2009 Result: Week 10 – What The Puck 5, Rehabs 4
Game Notes: As expected, Larry’s Orange Juggernaut marched into the second round with a convincing 6-1 win over the Mighty Squirrels.  With new acquisitions Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta and Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. refusing to play on their countryman’s holiday weekend, other Pucks were finally allowed to step into the spotlight.  Five different players tallied goals, including rookie Ollie Hartman who led the team with two.  The Rehabs earned the respect and adulation of BTSH by eliminating the Happy Little Elves from the playoffs with a 3-1 first round victory last week.  First half goals by Adam Skuse and Bryan “Stork” Welch gave the Rehabs a 2-0 lead, which was enough to stave off a late Elves charge.  Late-arriving Dave Fraser salted away the win with an empty netter in the closing minute.  Impressively, this victory against their Rubens Division rival came with just two females in attendance.  However, if the Rehabs wish to be successful against What The Puck, they will a need a better showing from their stellar all-female defense corps.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck.  Mad Dog won’t let his team get upset in the quarterfinals for the second straight season.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck.  Experience is doubly important in the playoffs, so it’s finally Ant’s time to shine!
Watchability: 4 Cupcakes

Filthy Plans To Be A Thorn In The Anklebiters’ Side

#5 Filthy Gorgeous (15-5-1) vs. #12 Gouging Anklebiters (8-11-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:30 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 5-2
2009 Result: Week 11 – Filthy Gorgeous 5, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Game Notes: Although Filthy Gorgeous enters this game with the league’s second ranked offense, Gouging Anklebiter forward and notorious trash talker, Charles DeFranco, is not scared.  He had the following to say about his opponents:

Chris can’t bake, Ali smells, Joe E. stinks, Fran has no business on a hockey court, Jean is French-Canadian, Dana dates a foot, Homin needs to shave, Suvin cheats, Ashley is ashy, Sunny is kind of a downer, Lindsay is unrecognizable, Becky caters to the fans too much, Matt N. does not cater to the fans enough, Dan has no goals this season, James is ungentlemanly, Joe P. leaves much to be desired, Jon lives in North Carolina, Monica uses too much profanity, Liza smiles too much, and Matt W. looks down on others…but Paul is okay in my book.

When reached for comment, a seething Monica Russo snapped, “Fuck him!  We’re going to light up that motherfucking scoreboard!” [citation needed]

Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  Them’s fightin’ words.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous.  I make this pick reluctantly as Anklebiter Zack “Cryme Tyme” Weiner is now on a goal-scoring streak.
Watchability: 3.5 League Degenerates

No, That Is Not Dee Brown On Fresh Kills

#6 Dark Rainbows (14-6-0-1) vs. #11 Fresh Kills (9-10-1-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 6-2
2009 Result: Week 8 – Fresh Kills 5, Dark Rainbows 4 (OT)
Game Notes: Former champions collide in this first round matchup, as the 2007 champion Dark Rainbows face the defending champion Fresh Kills.  The Rainbows are red hot right now, having scored 21 goals in their last two games.  Veteran forward and noted singer P.T. Walkley has come alive with hat tricks in each of these two games.  His linemate, John Nielsen, leads the team with 20 goals on the season, including three against Fresh Kills in week 9.  Although Fresh Kills enters the playoffs as just the 11 seed, the team has thrived on being the underdog in the past.  Last season, as the 10 seed, Fresh Kills rattled off four straight upsets en route to the championship.  Despite the team’s mediocre stats during the regular season, ranking just 11th in offense and 7th in defense, Fresh Kills proved it can still win in big games.  The team has claimed wins from LBS, Inc., the Corlears Hookers, and this weekend’s opponent, the Dark Rainbows.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills.  Until someone sends them packing, they are still the defending champs.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. They are too hot to lose in the opening round.
Watchability: 4.5 Townsends.  This could be the best game of the weekend.

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