btsh.org

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 16 SEPT. 2007
by Eli Kazin

Are you going to be an All-Star? Find out next week. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan [at] yahoo [dot] com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
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The Games

NOAM DOLGIN SCORES A GOAL FOR EACH DAY OF ROSH HASHANAH. Noam Dolgin scored his second goal of the game in overtime as Mathematics rallied to defeat Volanto’s Heroes – I mean, Cobra Kai, 3-2. Sharif ‘The Chocolate Buzzsaw’ Corinaldi of the Mathematics tied the game at one with five minutes remaining in regulation, and Jerome Ramos gave Cobra Kai the lead shortly thereafter, but Dolgin tied the game again with the goalie pulled and less than two minutes remaining. Peter Oblamski also scored a goal for Cobra Kai.

PRINT ACCOLADES WILL HAVE TO SUFFICE. Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney and Elizabeth Lewis each scored second half goals to lead the Corlears Hookers past the Dark Rainbows, 2-1. With the win, the Corlears Hookers clinched the top seed for the playoffs and won the BTSH equivalent of the President’s Trophy, which turns out to be nothing. P.T. Walkley scored the lone goal for the Dark Rainbows.

NO, NOT DUTCH. Brendan Grainger’s overtime goal completed the comeback from a two-goal second half deficit as the Unicorns stunned What The Puck, 4-3. Lindsay Turley tied the game on a deflected inbounds pass with less than one minute remaining in regulation. Chris Eng and Courtney Butler also scored goals for the Unicorns, while Brian Vroom scored two goals and Corey ‘Chongo’ Winters scored one for What The Puck.

TIM HANNON MANAGES TO TIE LBS. Tim Hannon scored three goals, and also added a shootout goal, as Pork Fried Rice and LBS fought to a 3-3 tie. Sam Anthony, Karsten Pitchon, and Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin each scored goals for LBS. Anthony added a shootout goal for LBS, and Pitchon hit the crossbar on the final attempt of the shootout.

HE MAY BE OUT OF BOUNDS, BUT HE IS STILL DANGEROUS. Zack Tinkelman scored the game winning goal on an out of bounds restart, as the Denim Demons beat Filthy Gorgeous, 4-1. The Denim Demons also received goals from Micael Holmström, Jeff Kamen, and Mike Pereira. James Pereira (no relation) scored the lone goal for Filthy Gorgeous. Ellery ‘The Nature Boy’ Gillette contributed nothing to this victory.

PLEXIGLASS WAS NOT NECESSARY TODAY. Gabe Wilson scored the only goal of the shootout, and added a regulation goal, as the Tuques defeated Fresh Kills, 3-2, for their third consecutive victory. Kevin ‘Tiny’ Foster and Dave Sokolyansky, who tied the game with less than two minutes remaining in regulation, were the goal scorers for Fresh Kills. Sarah Moore also scored a goal for the Tuques.

THE FLAG IS GOOD LUCK. Mexican Standoff, with a team flag hung along the fence, rallied for a 3-1 victory against the Bad Touch. Jason Greenberg, Gary Cohen, and Adam Shaw each scored a goal for Mexican Standoff, who (surprise!) used yet another goalie, Randy Locklair, making his first start in net of the season. Eric Devlin scored the lone goal for the Bad Touch. This game also featured referees Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri and Jeremy Schumacher, the Best Looking Ref Duo in BTSH (with apologies to Adam and Jim from the Denim Demons).

TWO SCHUMACHER MENTIONS IN ONE REPORT. J.P. Chaput and Debbie Tomlinson each scored first half goals as the Rehabs squeezed past the Gouging Anklebiters, 2-1. Anthony Romeo, who dedicated his win to Britney Spears, registered 16 saves. Jeremy Schumacher scored the lone goal for the Gouging Anklebiters.

MIKY WOLF MUST BE GOOD AT BASEBALL. Miky Wolf scored the game winning goal with three minutes remaining in regulation on a waist-level swing at a crossing pass near the crease, as the Mighty Squirrels defeated the Sky Fighters, 4-2. Arthur ‘Lil’ Weezy’ Revechkis, Scott Brower, and Jesse Kalb also scored goals for the Mighty Squirrels, while Martin Cejka scored both goals for the Sky Fighters.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag [at] gmail [dot] com)

Brian Barrett of Pork Fried Rice is now Grandmaster B.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/gross01b.jpg)

Peter Putka of Corlears Hookers is now Purple Rain.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/pankey_purple_rain.jpg)
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Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Derek Tagliarino of the Mathematics, who notched his first win as a goalie, and also beat his former team in the process.
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News and Notes

Filthy Gorgeous and the Rehabs are playing their rescheduled game at noon this Sunday. This affects the noon and 1 PM games, so please read the upcoming schedule, listed below, very carefully…. With one weekend of regular season games remaining, sixteen of the eighteen playoff spots are still up in the air. Only the Corlears Hookers (#1 seed) and the Sky Fighters (#18 seed) are locked into their playoff seeds, so all of the games will have some impact on seeding…. As a result of his generous donation of sand, a local beach was recently named after Gouging Anklebiters captain Phil ‘The Jeweled Shillelagh’ Donohue… BTSH members B.R. Rolya (Fresh Kills), Greg Altman (Cobra Kai) and Josh Sadler-Brown (Corlears Hookers) spent last Saturday picking up trash at Ft. Tilden Park on Far Rockaway as part of Annual Coast Clean-Up Day.
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Upcoming Schedule
September 23rd, 2007
2pm Corlears 1 GAME OF THE WEEK Denim Demons (11-4-1) vs. What The Puck (11-5)

– The only matchup of the week that features two teams with double digit wins is also critical for playoff seeding, as these two teams are separated by just one point in the standings.

12noon Corlears 1 Rehabs (8-6-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (8-7)
12noon Corlears 2 Mighty Squirrels (4-9-0-3) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-12)
1pm Corlears 1 Filthy Gorgeous (8-7) vs. Sky Fighters (1-15)
1pm Corlears 2 Tuques (7-9) vs. Rehabs (8-6-1)
2pm Corlears 1 Denim Demons (11-4-1) vs. What The Puck (11-5)
2pm Corlears 2 Mexican Standoff (5-10-0-1) vs. Pork Fried Rice (9-6-1)
3pm Corlears 1 Unicorns (11-2-2-1) vs. Mathematics (7-7-0-1)
3pm Corlears 2 Bad Touch (7-9) vs. Corlears Hookers (14-1)
4pm Corlears 1 Dark Rainbows (11-4-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-11)
4pm Corlears 2 Fresh Kills (8-5-0-3) vs. LBS (8-7-1)
5pm Corlears 1 ALL-STAR GAME

THIS WEEK’S GAMES

16-Sep-2007

1pm C2 Mexican Standoff vs. Bad Touch
2pm C1 Lbs vs. PFR
2pm C2 Mathematics vs. Cobra Kai
3pm C1 WTP vs. Unicorns
3pm C2 G.Anklebiters vs. Rehabs
4pm C1 C.Hookers vs. Dark Rainbows
4pm C2 Fresh Kills vs. Tuques
5pm C1 Denim Demons vs. Filthy Gorgeous
5pm C2 Mighty Squirrels vs. Sky Fighters
(sunset 7:04pm)
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ALL STAR GAME

the all star game will be at 5pm, sunday sept. 23. (regular games will begin
at NOON, not 1pm, no that day!)

there will be two players sent from each team, one male and one female.

brian barrett is organizing the all star game. contact him for more info.
(he’ll be contacting captains soon about the selection process and other
details.) brian.barrett [at] gsocap [dot] com

one new twist to the all star game this year: MULTI-BALL! there will be a
few random “multi-ball” periods in the game. an airhorn will sound, lots of
balls will be thrown on to the court, and teams can try to shoot in as many
balls as can until the horn sounds again. there will be goal judges to count
the goals during the multi-ball period.

yes, it’s absurd, ridiculous and silly. that’s the point. enjoy!
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LISTINGS
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
WELDER NEEDED

the league needs some light welding done. we’re trying to acquire a few goal
frames from a supplier, but they need to be welded together. if anybody can
help out with this project in the next 3 weeks, please let me know.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ERMP
the east river music project will also be holding a benefit show on Friday,
September 14th at Sound Fix in Williamsburg. Emperor X, Excellent, and Blood
City Shack Up will be playing; start time is 7:30. There will be a suggested
donation of $8; donations of $8 or more enter you in a raffle for a
selection of fine prizes. Yes indeed. More information on the benefit show
is also at our website.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
FLORIDA TOURNEY

USA BALL HOCKEY SOUTHERN REGIONAL STREET HOCKEY TOURNAMENT PRESENTED BY
Matt Garry
@ THE SPORT ZONE www.sportszone2.com
7716 RUTILLO DR. NEW PORT RICHEY, FLORIDA
OCTOBER 27th-28th
FEE: $500 PER TEAM

NOT ONLY WILL YOU GET GREAT HOCKEY COMPETITION, YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO
VISIT BUSCH GARDENS AND FLORIDA BEACHES

DIVISIONS: COMPETITIVE & NOVICE
GAME FORMAT:
2/17 MIN. RUNNING TIME PERIODS
CENTER LINE OFFSIDES
4 GAME MINIMUM
1ST & 2ND PLACE AWARDS FOR EACH DIVISION
CHAMPION T-SHIRTS AND TEAM AWARDS
MVP AWARDS: OFFENSE / DEFENSE / GOALIE

CONTACT MATT GARRY AT 1-813-818-1312 MGARRY3 [at] TAMPABAY.RR [dot] COM
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
BEACH CLEAN UP

this saturday, 15 sept. 2007, 10am to 1pm at fort tilden/far rockaway.
contact bobw if you’re interested in pitching in!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
HECTOR TIME!
This upcoming weekend (saturday sept. 15th) will be
the BARUCH “BIG PARK” CHAMPIONSHIP GAME will be Team
$howT!m3 vs either Columbia Street Vendetta or the
Hurricanes.

You all are on my email list and I thought it would be
nice to invite you to come down and share this
experience with me. It would mean a lot of most of you
could come down and cheer my team on and be a major
factor in our quest for the championship prize of 4
grand! this is what u need to know:

Team $howT!m3:
– finished 2nd place in the saturday divison
– beat the 1st place team in round 2 to make it to the
championshiop game
– has beaten both teams that we may face in the
championship and it came down to defense and pitching
(which is hard to do in softball)
– the people that will be at this game to watch should
be atleast 50 or more people because people thought at
1st that the league wouldnt make it this far.
– whos gonna lose when u have good friends cheering
for you and your team?

so like i said,if you can even 1 game,i would
appreciate it a lot and so would my team

email me for directions or questions!! lowadeckfynest [at] yahoo [dot] com
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
5K RACE FOR BIG BROTHERS/SISTERS

Hey guys and Gals, a few Rehab’s are running in a 5K race to raise money for
Big Brothers Big Sisters organization of NYC. Big Brothers Big Sisters
provides mentors to children who need adult role models in their lives, so
it’s definitely a great cause. A lot of you contributed last year, which was
great, and our team was actually recognized at the race as one of the top 5
fundraisers. If you think you might want to make a donation, please click on
the link below. Every little bit helps!

For more info, go to

https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=202125&lis=1&knt
ae202125=0807EC18B0EE49BE9D0E0DB05539C35E&supId=180640055
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BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 09 SEPTEMBER 2007
by Eli Kazin

Welcome back everyone. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan [at] yahoo [dot] com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
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The Games
DON’T LOOK NOW, BUT THE DARK RAINBOWS ARE IN SECOND PLACE. Josh Wilson scored the lone goal of the shootout as the Dark Rainbows climbed into second place with a 2-1 victory against Fresh Kills. P.T. Walkley scored the only regulation goal for the Dark Rainbows, while Patrick Moore scored the lone goal for Fresh Kills, with an assist from Caroline Currie.

CON ED TURNS THE POWER ON. Ed Lau, also know as Con Ed, scored two goals, including the game winner, to lead the Rehabs past What The Puck, 4-2. Stacy Kehoe and Kami Moore played the entire game for the Rehabs, who also received goals from Brian Wong and Jon Feldman. Anthony Romeo recorded 34 saves for the Rehabs in the victory, while Brian Vroom scored both goals for What The Puck.

THE NATURE BOY HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN PLAY HOCKEY. With Ellery ‘The Nature Boy’ Gillette absent, the Denim Demons carried on and defeated Pork Fried Rice, 2-1. Gillette chose to watch his Washington Redskins defeat the Miami Dolphins, but managed to appear, wearing a Mike Sellers jersey, at the Johnson’s after the game. Jeff Kamen scored both goals for the Denim Demons, while Brian Barrett scored the lone goal, a sick backhanded shot that went topshelf, with under 2 minutes left in the game, for Pork Fried Rice.

DUTCH WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE HAS RETURNED. Brendan ‘Dutch’ Kearney scored four goals, including the game winning goal, as the Corlears Hookers routed the Sky Fighters, 10-1. The Corlears Hookers also received two goals each from Anshu Sinha and Gavin Kearney (you know, Dutch’s brother), and one goal each from Jason Eitel and Albert ‘Al’ Huang. Martin Cejka scored the lone goal for the Sky Fighters, who, despite the lopsided score, had a fair tally of quality scoring chances, involving two new female players on a number of impressive plays.

PLEXIGLASS STOPS EVERYTHING. Minkus registered his first shutout of the season as the Tuques blanked Mexican Standoff, 4-0. It should be noted, however, that Minkus played the entire game with a sheet of clear plexiglass positioned in front of the goal mouth, which may have contributed to his flawless performance. The goal scorers for the Tuques were Bill Monahan, Caroline Johnston, Dean Keyworth, and Todd Robertson.

THE MIGHTY SQUIRRELS RECORD HAS BEEN REARRANGED TO REFLECT ANOTHER LOSS. Despite the stellar goaltender of Eric Breitman, the first game appearance of 2007 for Jason ‘Cheek’ Cheek (like this: points to cheek), and pregame trash talk that Rachel ‘A-Korn’ Greene would rearrange the face of Alex ‘Villano VI’ Zabala, the Unicorns emerged with a 2-1 victory against the Mighty Squirrels, as Aaron Mullan scored the only goal of the shootout. Sara Pourghasemi scored the only regulation goal for the Unicorns, while former Unicorn Jesse Kalb scored the lone goal for the Mighty Squirrels.

THERE IS A FIFTY PERCENT CHANCE HIS NAME IS SPELLED WRONG. Joe Pereira scored the game winning goal with three minutes remaining in regulation as Filthy Gorgeous beat Cobra Kai, 2-1. Liza Watts also scored for Filthy Gorgeous, while Brian ‘The Flashlight’ Morrison scored the lone goal for Cobra Kai.

WATCH OUT FOR LBS. Karsten Pitchon scored three goals, Fernando Limonic chipped in two, and Samuel Anthony and Ken ‘The Alpha Male’ Poulin each added one goal, as LBS defeated the Gouging Anklebiters, 7-3, for their fifth consecutive victory. For the Gouging Anklebiters, Eric ‘El Guapo’ DiPierri scored two goals and Charles DeFranco had one goal.

THE BAD TOUCH HAVE MASTERED THE ART OF THE COMEBACK. The Bad Touch scored three goals in the final ten minutes, their fourth come-from-behind victory of the season, to defeat the Mathematics, 4-3. Shannon Roddy scored the game winning goal with two minutes remaining in regulation on a shot that was slowed by the Math goalie, but dribbled through, and the Bad Touch also received two goals from Danny Canarick and one goal from Scott Rosenthal. Bradley Schmidt (two) and Noam Dolgin (one) were the goal scorers for the Mathematics, who also received full fifty-minute efforts from Laura MacNeil and Georgine ‘Mulva’ Paulin.
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Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag [at] gmail [dot] com)

Roderick Cruz of What The Puck is now Guy LeDouche.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/guy.jpg)

Ray Chan of Cobra Kai is now Domino.
(http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r236/mighty914/BTSH/domino.jpg)

———————————————————————

Unsung Hero of the Week
The unsung hero for this week is Lisa Harrington of the Tuques, who was playing with a ruptured disc in her back. The Tuques only had three females in uniform, so Harrington had to play a large balance of the game.
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News and Notes

In the last report, the Denim Demons were credited with a 4-1 victory against the Bad Touch, but the final score from that game was actually 5-1. Also, Molly Jacobs was listed as the only female in attendance for LBS, but teammate Alexandra Chenitz was also present to cheer on her team, despite being unable to play in the game due to an injury….Shannon Roddy of the Bad Touch and Jason Eitel of the Corlears Hookers each scored their first BTSH goal….Jeffrey Hendricks of Mexican Standoff may be receiving a bill from the league office for one orange ball in the near future, as in the waning moments of his game, he proceeded to slip and fall on the court, grab the ball in play, and launch it over the fence in the direction of the FDR Drive….(he was arrested, arraigned and is serving a 30-month sentance at Rikers for “silly sports antics” – ed.) Special thanks to Albert ‘Al’ Huang and Chris “No Nickname Yet” Eng for helping Bob ‘Olmec’ Weyersberg paint the creases and set up the goals….Congratulations to Andy Pratt and Sarah Coombs of the Mathematics on their recent nuptials. (Bob W. reffed his 100th official BTSH game, to the encouraging cheers of, “That was a F*%ING GOAL, you blind F@&CK!” and “If you sucked any more, you’d put Hoover out of business!” He was humbled by the expressions of adulation. -ed.)
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Upcoming Schedule

September 16th, 2007
2pm Corlears 2 GAME OF THE WEEK Mathematics (6-7-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-10)
– While there may be better matchups this week, these two teams have a complex and linked history. Add in that both components of the league media transferred from Cobra Kai to the Mathematics during this season, and this should be a very intense game.

1pm Corlears 2 Mexican Standoff (4-10-0-1) vs. Bad Touch (7-8)
2pm Corlears 1 LBS (8-7) vs. Pork Fried Rice (9-6)
2pm Corlears 2 Mathematics (6-7-0-1) vs. Cobra Kai (5-10)
3pm Corlears 1 What The Puck (11-4) vs. Unicorns (10-2-2-1)
3pm Corlears 2 Gouging Anklebiters (4-11) vs. Rehabs (7-6-1)
4pm Corlears 1 Corlears Hookers (13-1) vs. Dark Rainbows (11-3-0-1)
4pm Corlears 2 Fresh Kills (8-5-0-2) vs. Tuques (6-9)
5pm Corlears 1 Denim Demons (10-4-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (8-6)
5pm Corlears 2 Mighty Squirrels (3-10-0-2) vs. Sky Fighters (1-14)

BTSH WEEKLY RECAP – 25 JULY 2007
by Eli Kazin and Derek Tagliarino
——————————————————–
I don∂t see what the big deal with the rain was… it was just water. Catch me at the courts, the bars, or email me at themajordeegan@yahoo.com with anything noteworthy. Onto the results…
——————————————————–
The Games

THEY DON∂T CALL HIM “COOP” BECAUSE THEY JUST WANTED TO USE THAT NICKNAME.
Alex Eben Meyer, also known as Coop, scored the only goal of the game midway through the second half, as the Bad Touch defeated the Mighty Squirrels, 1-0. Tim “Scrappy” Gray started in goal for the Mighty Squirrels, making 78 saves in the process. Unfortunately, he was distracted when Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder put together a coherent sentence, allowing Coop to gently tap the ball over the line from the edge of the crease.

THE 1972 MIAMI DOLPHINS WOULD LIKE TO THANK PORK FRIED RICE. With Brendan “Dutch” Kearney detained in a prison deep in the jungles of Guatemala, Pork Fried Rice handed the Corlears Hookers their first defeat of the season, 4-1. Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri scored two goals for Pork Fried Rice, but had three more disallowed because he was standing in the crease (while abusing the ref).

ERIK CORTES WILL NOT BE GETTING ANY TONIGHT. Despite a career high three goals from Roderick Cruz, What The Puck was unable to hold onto the lead, as Fresh Kills recorded the 4-3 victory. Jeff Lesser, with the flames fading from his turbo boost, scored the game winning goal with five seconds remaining on a shot from 100 feet away. In a cruel twist of irony, Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg managed to get four shots on net, while Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman shot like the A-Team, never coming within ten feet of the net.

JEFFREY HENDRICKS TOOK THEM TO THE BEACH. Due to a double team-wide outbreak of herpes, both the Rehabs and Filthy Gorgeous failed to field a team. Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon was the only player seen on the court for either team, but he seemed to be more interested in playing dice than in playing hockey.

BROOKLYN, BROOKLYN. Mike O’Connor had a shutout going, but Phil “The Jeweled Shillelagh” Donohue kicked in an own goal with just twenty seconds left in regulation to spoil an otherwise perfect day for the Gouging Anklebiters, who defeated the Sky Fighters, 5-1, who played short-handed
with one woman, Lourdes Bañez. Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri was held scoreless after being ejected ten seconds into the game for refusing to take off his tank top and put on a regulation size jersey.

THE MATHEMATICS ADD UP A VICTORY. Perhaps taking their pregame cheer too far, thirty players showed up for the Mathematics, who defeated the Tuques, 4-3. After becoming enraged with one of referee Jeremy Schumacher’s calls, Andy Pratt engaged in fisticuffs with Schumacher. Surprisingly, Pratt was not ejected, and proceeded to score four goals in the five minutes immediately following the altercation. Fear not, ladies of BTSH… Schumacher’s face was not badly bruised.

THE DARK RAINBOWS MADE IT RAIN ON UG. After a pregame prayer while facing Mecca, Trevor “Jesus” Tyrrell registered the shutout to lead the Dark Rainbows to a 3-0 victory against the Unicorns. The game was stopped for two minutes during the second half, when Hector “$howtime” Melendez of the Unicorns crashed through the metal fence and onto the FDR Drive. Fortunately, no cars were damaged.

STEF DID NOT GET DOWN ON THE LOW ONES. Mexican Standoff, disguised as Cobra Kai, notched a 4-1 victory against Cobra Kai. It is unclear exactly who scored for Mexican Standoff, with the exception of Jeffrey Hendricks, who played topless – an unenforced violation of the Quality of Life code enacted during the Guilianni administration.
Standoff player who dressed like Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison scored two goals, while the real Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison scored one goal, completing the very unnatural hat trick.

KEN POULIN IS THE ALPHA MALE. Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin scored a league record eight goals in one game, to lead LBS past the Denim Demons, 8-4. Poulin broke the previous record, a self-proclaimed six goals by Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette of the Denim Demons. Adam “The Legend Killer” Rubens refused to play until someone told him, once and for all, why he is indeed “The Legend Killer” – though it’s reputed to have nothing to do with the death of Bob Marley.
——————————————————–
Nickname Nook With Derek Tagliarino
(please send all comments to derektag@gmail.com)

Albert Huang of the Corlears Hookers is now Al.
Dan Abdo of the Dark Rainbows is now Danny Abs.

Unsung Hero of the Week

The unsung hero for this week is Jason “Cheek” Cheek (like this: points to cheek) of the Mighty Squirrels, for teaching Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder and Marie Marberg of the Mighty Squirrels proper English (apparently the kind they speak in North Carolina).
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News and Notes

Georgine “Mulva” Paulin of the Mathematics was given the key to the city of Pittsburgh for representing ∏what the Midwest is all about….. Tuques goalie Matt “Minkus” Spedeleri, in a Saturday evening competition held in Des Moines, finished third in the National Sharif Memorial Hot Legs Competition…. Due to a constant rain, the playing surface was wet…. Corey “Chongo” Winters of What The Puck was very disappointed after the Toronto Blue Jays lost a three game series to the Chicago White Sox…. Jonathan “The
Barnacle” Levine of Cobra Kai completed the difficult task of carrying on a conversation with every league member in attendance at Saturday’s mid-season party.
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Upcoming Schedule

August 5th, 2007 (rescheduled from April 15th)

4pm Corlears 1 GAME OF THE WEEK What The Puck (10-3) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-9)
– Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters was loquacious in the days leading up to this game, stating “Emma smells, Rod’s garbage, Michelle has a bad accent, Celine can’t sing, Amy has a short name, Jennifer runs like a girl, Darrell has no shot, Laurissa is subpar, Erica is not as good as I am, Kevin likes pink, Tom is a jerk, Tara doesn’t bathe, Jasmine is a Disney character, Scott also smells, Susanna cries too much, Brian has no hair, Elletra sucks, Corey is Canadian, Mike leaves much to be desired, and Larry is ugly.” When asked for a response, What The Puck captain Larry Zimmer replied “We will win.”

3pm Corlears 1 Dark Rainbows (9-3-0-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (3-9-0-1)
3pm Corlears 2 Sky Fighters (1-12) vs. LBS (6-7)
3pm Moffo Denim Demons (8-4-1) vs. Bad Touch (6-7)
4pm Corlears 1 What The Puck (10-3) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-9)
4pm Corlears 2 Tuques (4-9) vs. Pork Fried Rice (9-4)
4pm Moffo Fresh Kills (8-4-0-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (6-6)
5pm Corlears 1 Mexican Standoff (4-8-0-1) vs. Unicorns (8-2-2-1)
5pm Corlears 2 Cobra Kai (4-9) vs. Rehabs (6-5-1)
5pm Moffo Corlears Hookers (12-1) vs. Mathematics (6-6-0-1)

in this message:

– SUNDAY’S SCHEDULE OF GAMES
– WOMEN’S SCRIMMAGES
– JOHNSONS OLYMPICS II
– BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY
– POSTINGS
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SCHEUDULE 22-Jul-2007

3pm C1 Bad Touch vs. Filthy Gorgeous
3pm C2 G.Anklebiters vs. Mathmatics
4pm C1 Dark Rainbows vs. Tuques
4pm C2 Denim Demons vs. Sky Fighters
5pm C1 Rehabs vs. Mexican Standoff
5pm C2 Cobra Kai vs. Mighty Squirrels

3pm M PFR vs. Fresh Kills
4pm M C.Hookers vs. Unicorns
5pm M WTP vs. Lbs
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WOMEN’S SCRIMMAGES

Women’s scrimmages are finally up and running. We meet
on Tuesdays at Corlears from 6pm until dark. If you
would like more information, want to make suggestions,
or just want to make sure it’s game on, send a blank
email to: BTSHwomen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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THE JOHNSONS OLYMPICS II – THIS SUDNAY – 22 JULY 2007

Twelve months ago fate met with intoxicated decision making and history was born. Yes, who could ever forget the inspiration, the artistic genius, the awe-inducing sight of Sharif Corinaldi atop the Johnsons bar wearing his patented leopard print Jane. Surely, a moment that will live in BTSH lore (see attached photo). Well, the seasons have changed full circle and now it is once again time. Will Sharif be able to defend his title of “Mr. Hot Legs”? Will a new champion rise from the ranks? Find out the answers to the these burning questions and so much more at the 2007 Johnsons Olympics coming to you on Sunday, July 22nd.

That’s right, join your host and drink master Brent Smith and emcee Craig LaCombe (Unicorns) as they bring you events like Hot Legs, Team Case Races, the World Famous Arm Wrestling Tourney and, new this year, the Ms. Pac-Man challenge (Molly from LBS is the early favorite in this event). Prizes include offerings from Tiny’s, Dash Dogs, and our official event sponsor PBR who will have plenty of schwag to dish out to our champions.

Also, this year the Johnsons is proud to announce a “Shots For Nets” initiative to help pay Gary for his services on the new BTSH nets. Lisa (Tuques), the official Johnsons shot girl, will be on hand selling shots at slightly inflated prices…the profits go to Gary. Currently, our boy is doing the work from the kindness of his heart, so here’s a chance to pass the hat for him. BTSH charity, y’all.

See you at the Johnsons on Sunday, July 22nd at 6:15 — just after the final games.

FAQ:
* I’m a chump and missed last year’s event…what are the Johnsons Olympics? A series of bar games with beer, food and lasting glory as rewards.
* Are there prizes? Hell yes.
* What are they? The 2007 Johnsons Olympics is sponsored by PBR and neighborhood eateries…
* What’s up with the new “Shots For Nets” program…is Brent just gonna pocket the money? Great question…Brent swears he won’t…so yes, you’re drinking for a good cause…and you can tell your boss you were out doing charity work on Monday.
* Will there be an event sign-up for my team? Yes, your captain will get that in advance. There will be more copies on-hand at the Johnsons.
* Is Sharif Gonna Break Out the Leopard Print This Year? One can only hope.
* Are There Photos of Last Year? Yup, check out Chris’ (Hookers) fine work here: http://mechanicalmoon.smugmug.com/gallery/1560733#75360898
* What is the Meaning of Life? To say you went to events like the Johnsons Olympics.
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BTSH MID-SEASON PARTY

SATURDAY 28 JULY 2007 – 7PM-9PM
PARKSIDE LOUNGE (317 e. houston at attorney)

live performances by BTSH members! full schedule tba soon!

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POSTINGS

SUB-LET FOR AUGUST
jon rick-fg

Sublet: August 1st-31st, Prospect Heights.
If you or anyone you know wants my room for the month of August, please email me (soon) at hellojonrick AT gmail DOT com. The rent is $850 for the month, utilities included. The room is on the top floor of a brownstone; it is very spacious, and it has an AC window unit. The apartment has wireless, television with lots of channels, a dishwasher, and even houses another member of btsh. It’s located a couple of blocks from the 2/3 stop at Grand Army Plaza and the Q/B stop at 7th Ave. Ok, thanks. -Jon
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LOOKING FOR WORK
hector melendez

part-time, full-time, over-time… if you have a lead on any kind of jobs, give hector a shout!
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LONG TERM SUB-LET/ROOM MATE
bobw-fk

my pal mike gorder is coming to nyc from sept. to april to work at lasker rink/central park. he’s from alaska, is a musician, hockey player/coach, and super nice, laid back, typical alaskan kinda fellow. i worked with him last season and can 100% vouch for him. if anybody has a sub-let or room available, please let me know. thanks! bob AT triagemusic DOT com

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if you want something posted to the league, send it to me BUT MAKE SURE THAT YOU PUT “BTSH POSTING” IN THE SUBJECT LINE or i might miss it.
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[bw]