btsh.org

They Should Have Called It Nacho Platter Machine

#16 Poutine Machine (7-9-0-1) at #3 Fresh Kills (10-4-0-2)
Written by Round Of 16 Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Location: Tompkins East, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
2010 Result: Week 15 – Game canceled due to “rain fears.”
Game Notes: As we move through the playoffs, Fresh Kills might be the sneakiest high seed in the tournament. Like all the children of that fictional town on public radio, they are best described as “above average” in most of the important metrics. They often don’t make the discussions of who the top teams are, but finished tied for second in points and top five in wins and goal differential. They probably feel no need to apologize for dominating a weak Donohue Division, so I won’t ask them to. Poutine Machine is a bit of a loose cannon in the playoff tournament. Despite posting by far the worst goal differential in the league (they were outscored by more than two goals per game (!)), they still managed six wins and a solid 5-0 thumping of Mega Touch in their play-in game last week. It will likely come down to who shows up for the Cheese Fries, whose attendance can generously be called spotty this season. Former Mighty Squirrel Dave Paglia has a history of clutch playoff performances; students of the game will recall his goal that gave the Squirrels a late second-half lead on eventual champion Dark Rainbows in the quarterfinals three years ago.
Vegas Line: Fresh Kills by 2.5
Jesse the Greek says: Lay the points. The Landfills will get it done against a game, but ultimately weaker opponent.
Watchability: 3.5 recycled monster truck tires

It’s Always Sunny For The Tompkins Square Riots

#14 Unicorns (8-8-0-1) at #4 Tompkins Square Riots (8-7-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 1-0
2010 Result: Week 4 – Unicorns 3, Tompkins Square Riots 2
Game Notes: The Unicorns enter their second playoff matchup on the heels of a convincing 5-0 shutout against the Gouging Anklebiters.  The victory continued the team’s recent trend of strong goaltending and defensive performances, as it marked all-star Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s third shutout in his last five outings and the fourth time the Unicorns have won by three or more goals during this span.  The MacNeil Division champion Tompkins Square Riots, however, are confident they can penetrate the staunch yellow defense.  Due to an abundance of game footage taken by Jaclyn Lee and captain Amy Jones, the Riots have identified several tendencies to exploit against the Unicorns.  For example, Unicorns forward Joe wiggles his right ear whenever preparing to take a forehand shot and wiggles his left ear when taking a backhand.  They also noticed that Mike always sticks out his tongue just before deking to the left.  Finally, the jewel in Courtney’s Denver Broncos hat will flicker just before she takes her patented “Tiger Shot.”  Only time will tell if this extensive film study pays off in the big game.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns.  Right now, LaCombe is playing like Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell circa 2007.
Derek’s Pick: Tompkins Square Riots.  Patrik Blohmé and Alexandre Frenette may be the best scoring duo that no one knows about.
Watchability: 4 Fiores

Not Quite, Ocho Cinco

#10 Dark Rainbows (8-6-0-2) at #7 Sky Fighters (9-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 5-4
2010 Result: Week 6 – Sky Fighters 3, Dark Rainbows 2 (OT); Week 17 – Sky Fighters 3, Dark Rainbows 2
Game Notes: For the third consecutive year, the Sky Fighters enter the playoffs as the #7 seed.  This season, they open the defense of their championship against another former league champion and a Hackett Division rival in the Dark Rainbows.  Unfortunately, the team will be missing two of its most important cogs.  Greg “Mr. August” Cohan, who scored all three Sky Fighter goals in their Week 6 win over the Rainbows, has been sidelined with an upper body injury for several weeks and will miss the entire playoffs.  In addition, captain Dan Hopper will be out this weekend, as he travels to Pittsburgh to attend the MGA Doggy Walk & Pooch Parade as an honored guest.  However, Hopper has cleverly left the team in the capable hands of Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, who has already announced he will play the entire game due to the Sky Fighters’ lack of personnel.  The Dark Rainbows enter this matchup with a full lineup but questionable dedication to the quest for another championship.  After winning the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup, the Rainbows made a conscious decision that they had accomplished all they really set out to do this year and have been mailing it in ever since.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  This could be the beginning of another deep playoff run.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters.  Despite the Fighters’ notable absences, we can rest assured that Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker spirit of sexiness lives on with this team.
Watchability: 4.5 Baby Nielsens

Your Shenanigans Do Not Impress The Legend Killer

#20 Gut Rot (5-10-0-2) at #1 Denim Demons (13-3)
Written by Round Of 16 Correspondent Jesse Kalb
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 1-0
2010 Result: Week 12 – Denim Demons 5, Gut Rot 2
Game Notes: It’s hard to say whether last week’s thrilling overtime shootout win said more about Gut Rot (the barbarians at the gate) or What the Puck (the morally bankrupt and crumbling Roman Empire). Probably a little of both. Either way, it was a huge win for an expansion franchise over a perennial league power.  This week, however, it gets a little tougher. Everyone loves an underdog, but this week’s tilt against the #1 seed Denim Demons would be a monumental upset for Gut Rot. It seems like only yesterday that Peaches was sitting at a folding table in TSP, asking anyone who would listen to join his new team. And like the rag-tag bunch of American amateurs and college kids that took down the Soviet Union’s Red Army hockey team at the 1980 Olympics, Peaches’ scrappy band of castoffs, rookies, and misfits has a chance to make BTSH history. Word from the commissioner’s office is that legendary sportscaster Al “Do you believe in miracles?” Michaels will be on hand to personally call this game, which will be broadcast live on WFUV radio.
Vegas Line: Demons by 3.5
Jesse the Greek says: Gut Rot is a great story, but sorry guys…Jim Craig isn’t walking through that door. Gut Rot keeps it close, and probably covers the spread, but the Iron Curtain stays put for at least another week.
Watchability: 4 bottles of Stoli Vanilla

Tags: 2010 season, playoff preview

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 7th, 2010 at 11:12 pm and is filed under Weekly Previews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.