Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part I)

Bad Neighbors?

#3 Corlears Hookers (15-4) vs. #4 Filthy Gorgeous (14-4-1)
Location:
Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
2008 Result: Week 2 – Corlears Hookers 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Game Notes: Due to the intertwining history of the Corlears Hookers and Filthy Gorgeous, there is no shortage of bad blood between these two teams.  Peter “Purple Rain” Putka, Chris Beauvois, and Josh Sadlier-Brown were all members of Filthy Gorgeous in 2006, but left the team the following season to establish the Corlears Hookers.  There are a litany of other backstories in this rivalry, but decorum prohibits listing them here.  Although their first round win over Cobra Kai was somewhat expected, the Hookers made an emphatic statement last Sunday by defeating the defending champion Dark Rainbows 8-0.  With a nearly full roster (whither Dutch?) in attendance for the game, they finally showcased their full talent and potential.  While Filthy Gorgeous hasn’t been as dominant as the Hookers offensively in the postseason, the defense has been just as stingy.  Goalie Dan Owens and the Filthy D combined to shut out the Denim Demons, and they held the Mathematics to only two goals.  Filthy Gorgeous has never beaten the Corlears Hookers, but a close game is expected as each of their two previous meetings was decided by just two goals.
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. The Corlears Hookers boast what is arguably the best goalie tandem in all of BTSH.  Regardless of whether Chris Beauvois or Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson starts for them this week, a shutout is always a distinct possibility.
2. Although their women tend to fly under the radar, they are just as responsible for the Hookers’ deep playoff run as the guys are.
3. Albert “Al” Huang’s aggressive and up-tempo style of play energizes and motivates his teammates, but it has occassionally gotten him into trouble with his opposition and the league’s referees.  Al is quick to point out, however, that he could never possibly cheat…because “dudes with glasses just don’t do that”.
Keys To The Game For Filthy Gorgeous:
1. Although star forward James Pereira was held off the scoreboard in the quarterfinals, Filthy still managed to rally behind him to seal the victory.  However, as his first round output of five goals indicates, he is still fully capable of taking over a game offensively.
2. Rookie sensation Matt Workman scored Filthy’s only goal in their regular season meeting with the Hookers.  He has been a key player for them all season, and they will need another strong performance by him in this game.
3. While Dan Owens has been very solid in goal, and we believe he has a firm lock on the position, Filthy does have an extremely capable backup in Liza Watts.  She has already notched a victory in the highly competitive Women’s All-Star Game this season.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Defense wins championships, and they have allowed, by a very sizable margin, the fewest goals in the league (23 goals in 19 games).
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Each of the other three semi-finalist teams implored me not to pick them at some point on Sunday, so this is a way to make at least one of them happy.

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One Response to “Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part I)”

  1. workchi says:

    let’s just remember people, win or lose- this is all for fun. so in that spirit… i present my own keys to the game:

    HOOKERS
    1. keep sunglasses clean- you might be seeing a boogie on your lens and not the ball
    2. lipstick and stilettos- outdo ‘gorgeous’ at their own game…afterall you’re hookers!!!
    3. oil- robots should always be well lubed!

    FILTHY
    1. Pink fashion consultant- Pink headbands, wristbands, underwear, jock straps?! well, i guess it seems to be working..
    2. pull Dan- he scored last week 200 ft away confined to his crease…imagine what he can do in the slot!
    3. a bench megaphone- strange, for some reason the the refs don’t hear you when you nicely explain to them how the other team is cheating..

    Cheers- see ya at the johnsons

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