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#11 Happy Little Elves at #6 Butchers

by Bill “Don’t F**k It Up” Tucker

Tompkins Square West, 1:00 pm

When it comes to teams doing things loudly, the Happy Little Elves rank in the upper echelon of that esteemed category.  Fueled by the bravado of team captain Rich “Flair Chop” Glanzer, the Elves are still riding high from their championship run from two years ago.  Newbies to the league may look at the Killer Keeblers and think, “11^th seed?  Whatevs” but long time BTSHers know the truth.  The Happy Little Elves may falter in the regular season but they always come alive when the air turns crisper.  With a solid core of scoring dynamo Trevor “Legolas” Beauclair, the always scrappy Jenna “Link From The Legend of Zelda” Cruff and the pure intimidation of Ben “Snap, Crackle, Pop” Chadwick, the 2011 version of the Happy Little Hobgoblins should continue to be a tough out.

When it comes to doing things quietly, nobody flies under the radar like the sixth seeded Butchers.  Three years separated from the drunken chutzpah of Mexican Standoff, the Maniacal Meat Cleavers have silently turned themselves into one of the most dangerous teams in the league.  Captain Ben Bloom is a lethal sniper, Eric Ramirez is the most underrated keeper in the game and Georgine “Hatty” Paulin will drink you under the table while putting three past your goalie.  Oh, and you still have to contend with Creamy, Rachel Greene and Arthur “Fine Music Taste” Revechkis.  Not any easy task at all, so expect a spirited contest this Sunday.  Ahem…weather permitting.

Now, usually at this point in the write up, I devolve into lies and wild accusations, all littered with generous helping of topical links (ala Abby M).  But when Patrick sent out these assignments, he asked us to step it up, so step it I will.  Let’s drop some science on this bitch with three interesting factoids about this crucial Round of 16 matchup.

SCIENCE

1. Despite being a contest between the 6^th and 11^th seeds, only two points separate the Butchers (22) from the Elves (20).  The twist?  The Elves play a in much tougher division.  Hmmmmm…..
2. Butchers goaltender Eric “0.0001 GAA” Ramirez has not surrendered more than two goals in any start he’s had this season, regardless of the team he’s played for.  (statistic not verified, rather overheard in a boast-off with Pete Lang at last week’s women’s tournament.)
3. Elves enforcer Sarah Torneten can knock back an Irish Car Bomb like it’s nobody’s business.  Seriously, we’re talking four seconds from drop to slam.  Intimidation edge to the Gang in Green.

Dr. Hunter S. Tompkins Official Prediction:  Separated from my usual beat, I find myself in unknown waters.  Who are these Elves and why are they so happy given our current economic turmoil?  Who are these Enigmatic Executioners, boozed up ramblers who play a disciplined brand of hockey.  Instead of seeking answers to these quandaries, Dr. Gonzo and I snuck into the Central Park Zoo at three in the morning to eat fine meats & cheeses off the back a Siberian Tiger.  Nothing enhances the thrill of charcuterie like the threat of a good mauling.  Good times.  Oh, the game?  In the playoffs, goaltending is everything.  Butchers with the victory by the swipe of a hopped up jungle cat.

#9 Cobra Kai at #8 La Famiglia

by Abby “Link Queen” Meisterman

Tompkins Square West, 2:00 pm

Had Dave Ladanyi sent one of his spies over to the Dojo this week to prepare for this week’s match-up, he may have received a report about activity reminiscent of Kreese’s inspirational speech. Suffice it to say, Greg Altman is not messing around with the playoffs this year. Under his watch, Cobra Kai has shown some firepower: scoring duo JJ Murphy and Mark Talercio should not be underestimated and Becky Pear has been scoring goals all season and not just for her team. Greg is hoping to even pull from his injury roster as forward Rem Garavito Bruhn was seen just a few weeks ago in his season 2012 debut against the Dark Rainbows. Even co-captain Meredith Sladek has gotten competitive as she’s been feeding goalie Pete Lang downers to help keep his cool.

Though fear does not exist in the Dojo, they do have reasons to be afraid. Denis Miciletto is always a threat on the court — and in the kitchen (supposedly his muscles marinara rivals Adriano Bratta’s) —  especially when paired with Shafiq Perry. Miciletto led the league in goals scored last year, if I recall correctly. Haanwa Chau has been in touch with her Italian roots lately, cooking up a huge plate of carbs (and kick ass) for her team so they’re ready for their 2pm show-down.

Last year Cobra Kai lost in the opening round of the playoffs, so they’ve already outdone themselves this season, and La Famiglia went out in the round of 16. Both teams boast similar records, and even though Famiglia has been playing in a higher division & conference, look for this to be a very solid match-up.

“No commercials! No mercy!”

#16 Mega Touch at #2 What The Puck

by Monica “No More Drama” Russo

Tompkins Square West, 3:30 pm

I’m going to be the one to say it: this match isn’t entirely unfair.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 4th, 2012 at 4:54 pm and is filed under Weekly Previews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.