Season Preview: Dark Rainbows
P.T. Will Have To Regrow His Hair To Fit In
Color: Pink
Year Founded: 2004
2010 Regular Season Finish: 8-6-0-2 (4th, Hackett Division; 10th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Sky Fighters in round of 16
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
2010 Leading Scorer: John Nielsen, 12 goals
Team Song: Maino ft. T-Pain – All The Above
Key Additions: Robert Ee-lee, Ali Fischer, Jenna Flateman, Saburah Posner (all free agency)
Key Losses: Yui Lewis “And the News”, Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo
The Dark Rainbows struggled out of the gate in 2010 with losses in each of their first three games. However, the team rebounded quickly with wins in seven of their next nine games, including two against the Happy Little Elves and one against the Unicorns to clinch the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. Despite this run, the team faltered towards the end of the season and could only muster a fourth place finish in the Hackett Division. Championship hopes ended in the Rainbows’ first playoff contest, when they lost to the Sky Fighters for the third time in 2010 in a 2-1 heartbreaker.
“Last year blew,” noted the Rainbows’ loquacious captain Sean Reynolds. Clearly, the team has been feeling frustrated as of late. Despite the immense achievement of capturing their first Fairy Tale Cup in 2010 (which Reynolds claims he pawned), the team is starting to feel pressure from its boosters. Since the Dark Rainbows’ amazing championship run in 2007, the team has won just one playoff game, a 2-1 squeaker over the Mighty Squirrels in 2008. Certainly, the last few seasons have been disappointing.
Nevertheless, Reynolds remains optimistic about his team’s chances for 2011. He proclaims, “The division of past champions (the Hackett Division) will be dominated by the new ‘run and chase’ style of the Rainbows.” Whether Reynolds’ new offense can conquer the division remains to be seen, but he makes an important point that every team in the Hackett Division has previously won at least one BTSH championship: Dark Rainbows (2007), Fresh Kills (2008), LBS, Inc. (F2003, 2004), Sky Fighters (S2003, 2009), and What The Puck (F2002, 2006). With this history of success, the Hackett Division may prove to be the toughest in BTSH.
Entity They Resemble, According to Rich Glanzer: Jack “Cap” Rooney (old QB from Any Given Sunday). Cap is a former champion on his last legs. He’s still good enough to beat any team one time, but too old to do it on a consistent basis. The Rainbows are the holder of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. They can play their best for two games and beat the Unicorns and Elves, but a four game winning streak against the elite BTSH teams is a stretch at this point.
Fast Fact: In 1999, P.T. Walkley legally changed his name to James “Jim” West after his favorite movie character. He changed it back in 2001.
ROSTER
Jennie Brown
John Cassidy
Mike Dudolevitch
Robert Ee-lee
Ali Fischer
Jenna Flateman
Lindsay Foehrenbach
Jesse Gerstein
Libby Hartle-Tyrrell
Janica Lee
John Meyer
John Nielsen
Saburah Posner
Sean Reynolds (C)
Jon Rudd
Brad Thomason
Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell
Michel Walkley
P.T. Walkley
Josh Wilson
Tags: 2011 Season, Dark Rainbows, team previews