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Eric Is Thrilled To Be Captain Once Again

Color: Gray
Year Founded: 2002
2010 Regular Season Finish: 6-9-1 (4th, MacNeil Division; 17th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Poutine Machine in opening round
Conference: Schumacher
Division: MacNeil
2010 Leading Scorer: Harvey Jaswal, 6 goals
Team Song: Peter Cetera – Glory of Love
Key Additions: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (What The Puck)
Key Losses: Greg Kellerman, William MacGregor

Mega Touch was one of the best teams in BTSH during the final third of the 2010 regular season.  The team won four of its last five games, including wins against Donohue Division champion Fresh Kills and MacNeil Division champion Tompkins Square Riots.  However, the good vibes from the closing stretch were quickly extinguished in the opening round of the playoffs, when Mega Touch was shutout by Poutine Machine, 5-0.

After that loss, Greg Kellerman stepped down from his role as captain in advance of his move to Seattle.  During an off-season team function, Kellerman had everyone on the team line up and asked for anyone who wants to be captain to take two steps forward.  Newcomer Julie Katz and former captain Eric Devlin were the only two players who did not take multiple steps backward, and were thus awarded the captaincy.  Their unenviable task was to improve on a team that Katz described as having “lots of close losses, lots of beards, good defense and goaltending, lots of shots on goal but had trouble scoring and finishing,” which minus the beards, is a perfect way to describe the New York Rangers in recent seasons.

Katz and Devlin’s biggest acquisition of the off-season was Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta.  Bratta retired midway through the 2010 season, but Katz was able to coax him out of retirement with the promise of numerous hangout opportunities on Michael Tuckman’s roof and free web services from Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (Meyer was not informed of this).  Katz expects the 2011 season for Mega Touch to yield “hopefully more goal scoring, the same amount of drinking, approximately the same amount of people playing in cut off jean shorts, the occasional blow out loss, and an entire offensive line of Italians.”

Entity They Resemble, According to Rich Glanzer: Lucas (from Lucas [1986]). While poor, poor Lucas has been picked on since the movie came out, in the end he was cheered by the whole school. Mega has struggled the past three years, but with Adriano Bratta playing for them, expect a new, popular Lucas. However, what wasn’t shown, was nine years later, Lucas blew himself away on the 2nd floor of his upstairs apartment. Expect 2020 to be a very bad year for Mega and Bratta.
Fast Fact: Joe Lops’ awesome calves will be honored as part of “Joe Lops Bobble Calves Night” on July 31, when Mega Touch hosts Gut Rot.

ROSTER
Mark Anderson
Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta
Molly Brown
Danny Canarick
Jane Cramer
Eric Devlin (C)
Kristen Echemendia
Jonathan Hanson
Katie Hasty
Harvey Jaswal
Julie Katz (C)
Joe Lops
Joe Lops’ Calves
Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer
Jennifer Nedbalsky
Brett Oppedisano
Andy Robertson
Scott Rosenthal
Nadya Salcedo
Michael Tuckman
Rabi Whitaker

Tags: 2011 Season, Mega Touch, team previews

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 8th, 2011 at 11:40 pm and is filed under 2011 Team Previews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.