Season Preview: Rehabs
Ain’t No Thang But A Chicken Wang
Color: Black
Year Founded: 2001
2009 Regular Season Finish: 11-6-1-3 (8th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to What The Puck in quarterfinals
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
Home Arena: The Stacy S. Kehoe Auditorium
2009 Leading Scorers: Dave Fraser & Adam Skuse, 9 goals
Key Additions: Gary Kowalski (Mighty Squirrels), Anita Khar (Mathematics)
Key Losses: Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (Mathematics), Sean “$howJu” McClain (Mathematics)
The Rehabs’ hopes are once again riding high heading into the 2010 season. Their captain, Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli sheds some light on to their offseason activity:
A number of Rehabs were detained during the offseason while fulfilling illegal desires on the benches of Tompkins Square Park, and they are now spending the season in group therapy and performing community service throughout the city. You might even see some of them offering a helping hand to some needy street hockey teams in the area. New players were stalked and scouted upon their release from a number of different rehabilitation clinics in the five boroughs and Pennsylvania and are entering this season extremely thirsty for booze and amphetamines.
Last year’s Rehabs sweated beer and hacked lungs through the season, terrifying opponents with their shakes and tales of bedtimes long overdue, but were unable to clinch the title. A goal was fulfilled, however, when they ate the Denim Demons for breakfast in a consolation game at the end of the season. 2010 has brought renewed hope to the team, as it promises the exploration of new tricks, plays, and substances.
Professional Wrestler They Closely Resemble: Beth Phoenix. Easily the top female presence in the game, they truly deserve the moniker of “Glamazon”.
Fast Fact: It is unclear whether the Hackett Division is named after Rehab defender Gina Hackett or former NHL goaltender Jeff Hackett.
ROSTER
Chantel Arroyo
Michael “Cupcake” Bartlett
Robert Blandi
Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli (C)
Alex Doucette
Shane Farrell
Gina Hackett
Tom Houston
Stacy S. Kehoe
Anita Khar
Gary Kowalski
“Con” Ed Lau
Ryan Melbourne
Kamdyn Moore
Jeff Nugent
Lateef Nurmohamed
Anthony Romeo
Adam Skuse
Bryan “Stork” Welch
Alex “Villano VI” Zabala
Tags: 2010 season, Rehabs, team previews
Call scouted, should be a decent game.
I love MDF, but much like Rain Fears is Mr. Met, there’s really should only be one girl eating wing picture.
I heard it’s not a chicken wing– it’s a Denim Demon wing.
Yeah, she clipped it from Coach.
Is it bad that I was wondering the exact same thing as the Fast Fact?
I have a feeling Coach and MDF at the same time are going to turn around and then hit each other with a steel chair at the same time. Or maybe I watch too much wrestling??