Posts Tagged ‘2009 season’
Guest Columnist: Rich Glanzer
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Rich Glanzer.
While the Happy Little Elves have been sort of surprising some teams on the court this season, I feel we’ve been the league’s biggest disappointment where it matters most…at the bar! There is no funner (yes, it’s a word) team than the Elves. We are all partiers and drinkers. But this season, I’ve noticed some things I’m not too proud of at the bar. We have Mexican Standoff guarding the door, What The Puck running around feeling like they own the joint, Craig and his harem of Lady Unicorns showing up fashionably late, Demons everywhere, the Rehabs plotting in a corner, Georgine guarding Derek and Eli, and of course, Cobra Kai sitting at the end of the bar, like table #9 in the Wedding Singer.
But one hour after our game is over, I’m normally the only Elf left standing. So when some guy in a foot cast is screaming, “What The Puck!! What The Puck!!” and 19 Rehabs are chanting back, “REEEE-HAAAAAABBBBSS, REEEEEE-HAAAAAABBBBS,” I’m forced to slink into a corner and whimper, “Go Elves Go. Go Elves Go.”
Well, this Sunday, that changes!! The Happy Little Elves are taking back the bar!! Last season, we lost every game (except against the Tuques and Squirrels), but we had fun darn it!! This Sunday, we are going to have a blast, and we’d like you to join us. So if you haven’t been to the bar this year (Hookers), or go to Doc Hollidays (Anklebiters), come to the bar and hang out with the Elves. We’re not bad people, just bad hockey players!! And we’re not even that bad at hockey any more, so our lack of talent shouldn’t rub off on you. (Though WTP did lose their first game after I hung out with them the week before.) This is the last week before a two week break, so no excuses, party with the Elves!
First beer is on me. OK, not really, but come anyways!!
Week 11 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009Neck Hole Not Included
Ant’s New Shirt Was Conspicuously Missing
Although What The Puck may play like a well-oiled machine, the team hasn’t been on the same page fashion-wise all season. Primarily due to captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s crafty offseason acquisitions, the team has been forced to wear a fairly random assortment of semi-orange team uniforms. Some of the more humorous variations on the WTP shirt have been Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr.’s faded Islanders t-shirt, Zimmer’s bright orange Carlos Beltran mock jersey, Michelle Doucet’s $4 Wal-Mart generic, Adriano Bratta’s blinding day-glo top, and Ollie Hartman’s Teaches Hoops shirt he found in a Salvation Army.
Always quick to respond to team problems, Mad Dog took it upon himself to design a new look for his squad. Larry’s hot new style (termed “Version 9.0”) includes the usual orange and blue coloring with “WHAT the PUCK?” written across the front. “9.0” (signifying the team’s ninth season) is displayed in the bottom left corner. The new duds were so popular, even the injured players on the sidelines adorned them. Sadly, with What the Puck’s surprising loss to the Unicorns, the team is now 0-1 in their new jerseys.
Week 11 Box Scores
Sunday, June 21st, 2009LBS, Inc. Weathers A Storm
LBS, Inc. 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (11), Sam Anthony (7), Jason Bogdaneris (5)
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira (10)
Game Notes: Poulin’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with 20 minutes remaining in regulation.
Unicorns 3, What The Puck 2
Unicorns: Chris (9), Ryan (3), Aaron (1)
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2 (7)
Game Notes: Chris’ game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with 15 minutes remaining in regulation.
Dark Rainbows 5, Denim Demons 4 (OT-SO)
Dark Rainbows: P.T. Walkley 2 (8), John Nielsen (13), Josh Wilson (2)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 2 (7), Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (3), Peter Matlin (1)
Shootout: Dark Rainbows win, 1-0. Successful attempt by John Nielsen.
Game Notes: Rubens scored the tying goal with 25 seconds remaining in regulation.
Mathematics 3, Mexican Standoff 2
Mathematics: Eli Kazin (3), Bradley Schmidt (3), Jeff “The Hawk” Hawkins (2)
Mexican Standoff: Ben (6), Dave (1)
Game Notes: Kazin’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with six minutes remaining in regulation and completed the Mathematics’ comeback from a two-goal halftime deficit.
Mighty Squirrels 3, Corlears Hookers 3 (OT-SO)
Mighty Squirrels: Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis 2 (4), Mike Mincieli (3)
Corlears Hookers: Dan Thompson (3), Albert “Al” Huang (2), Ashley Banfield (1)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts for Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (MSQ) and Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (CH).
Game Notes: Banfield scored the tying goal with one minute remaining in regulation.
Sky Fighters 1, Rehabs 0
Sky Fighters: Sam Lassner (4)
Shutout: Robert Kucera (2)
Game Notes: Lassner scored the only goal of the game in the first minute of regulation.
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Happy Little Elves 2
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (7), Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato (2), Jenn Kim (1)
Happy Little Elves: Chris “Crush” O’Neil 2 (8)
Fresh Kills 5, Cobra Kai 2
Fresh Kills: Patrick Moore (7), Dave Sokolyansky (5), Kevin “The Planet” Foster (3), Ariel Imas (3), Alex Frenette (2)
Cobra Kai: Colleen Reid (2), Ara “6-1-9!” Arnn (1)
Game Notes: On Reid’s goal, both assists were from (legal) hand passes.
Tuques 5, Mega Touch 0
Tuques: Shafiq Perry 3 (3), Jason Mandell (1), Scott Sampson (1)
Shutout: Kevin Au (1)
Week 11 Preview
Thursday, June 18th, 2009Don’t Take Filthy Gorgeous Lying Down
GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS
Filthy Gorgeous (6-2-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (6-3)
Location: Tompkins East, 6:30 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 3-1-1
Game Notes: Hockey Night in Tompkins has been blessed with a great matchup this weekend, courtesy of the Schuie-tron 3000. After a red hot start to the season, Filthy Gorgeous has stagnated in the past few weeks, winning only one of their last four games. During this stretch, the offense has averaged just one goal a game, but on the strength of two shutouts from Dan “D.O” Owens, the team has managed to salvage a win and a tie. LBS, Inc. has now won three games in a row and is once again looking like an elite team after a sluggish start to the season. The Corporation is second in overall scoring, mainly due to its lethal duo of Karsten Pichon and “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin, who both have double-digit goals (13 and 10, respectively). With Pichon and Poulin playing at such a high level, “D.O.” will once again have to be at the top of his game for Filthy to break out of its slump.
Keys To The Game:
1. Filthy Gorgeous’ defense has given up only 12 total goals this season, placing it second in BTSH. The most the team has allowed in any one game is a scant three goals.
2. LBS, Inc. defender Sam Anthony remains one of the best dual threats in the league. In addition to being one of the top pure defenseman in BTSH, he has also chipped in six goals, putting him third on the team.
3. It is no secret that Filthy Gorgeous defender Becky Antar Novick is one of the league’s biggest fan favorites. With a raucous crowd expected for Hockey Night in Tompkins, her cheering section should be loud and boisterous.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. The Corporation is clicking on all cylinders right now.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc. I’ll call the two defenses a wash in this game, but LBS, Inc. has the advantage on offense.
Survivor Pool II
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009You Too Can Be As Cool As Abby
The media will be running a second Survivor Pool beginning with the games of June 28. If you would like to participate, please e-mail Derek or Eli to reserve a spot. There will be 25 spots available on a first come, first serve basis, with some consideration given to those who did not participate in the first pool. Once again, the winner will receive the right to post a guest column on any topic he or she chooses.
