Posts Tagged ‘2010 season’
Week 7 Preview
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010Chuck Has A Lot On His Mind
GAME OF THE WEEK
Gouging Anklebiters (4-1) at Denim Demons (4-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: Upon hearing that the media would promote his matchup against the Denim Demons as the Game of the Week, the normally reserved Charles DeFranco of the Gouging Anklebiters went off on one of his now infamous rants about his opponents:
Adam is a legend only in his own mind, Abby has too much dirty laundry, Steve is a Devils fan, Lena hates puppies, Jeff is out of the country, Zack’s dad always gets in the way, Gabby wears too much red, Emily doesn’t wear enough red, Brad is not sexy, Aaron can’t play the drums, Tara sings off key, Danny’s cooking sucks, Bob disgusts me, Lauren is an elitist, Miranda isn’t civic-minded, Mike only plays for personal stats, Dave needs a shower, Connie drives too slowly, Bill is not a sweetie, Val cried during Baseketball, Dez is frequently truant, Noah chews with his mouth open, and Sara has never watched The A-Team. As for Jim, there’s nothing bad I can say about him.
When reached for comment, Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens was reportedly not pleased with DeFranco’s remarks. However, teammate “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau was elated.
Keys To The Game:
1. Since vicious hazing allegations against the Gouging Anklebiters were made public prior to Week 2, the team has reeled off four consecutive victories, including a seven-goal output against Cobra Kai.
2. Despite the absence of last season’s team scoring leader, Jeff Kamen, the Denim Demons have had no trouble finding the back of the net this year. They are third in the league with 19 goals, a league-leading seven of which are from forward Zack Tinkelman.
3. Denim Demon newcomer Bob DiProspero is quickly making a case for himself to be the Little Chernoski Demon Achiever for top rookie on the team. He has already scored three goals this season and also tallied a shootout goal against the arch-rival Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Rubens is clearly incensed by DeFranco’s comments and has vowed to kill the legend of his trash-talking.
Watchability: 4 Derhohannesians. With both teams on hot streaks, neither will want to lose any momentum.
Guest Columnist: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens
Monday, May 31st, 2010The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH. They do, however, represent those of Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens.
World Cup Primer
Background: The World Cup is the biggest sporting event on Earth. Bigger than the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Ten times bigger than the Super Bowl. And this year, it’s projected to narrowly edge out the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in total viewership, tickets sold, and Jäger shots consumed in a fit of euphoric cheer and obliviousness to later side effects.
The qualification process for this summer’s four week bazaar has already taken place over the last three years, with some teams traveling more than 20,000 miles. This process (which takes longer than riding the G train from Williamsburg to Park Slope) weeds out some of the lesser teams and brings the best 32 into the tournament. Naturally, I’m still perplexed at how Papua New Guinea just missed out on this year’s tournament.
Week 6 News and Notes
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010Long Weekends Make The Planet Smile
With Memorial Day marking the unofficial start to the summer season, the holiday is traditionally associated with barbeques, parades, family gatherings, and sporting events. Thus, as BTSH approaches this highly anticipated weekend, the media conducted a league-wide survey to gauge people’s plans for their day off from hockey. Some of the notable responses are after the jump.
Week 6 Box Scores
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010Dude, Where’s My Hair?
Flowing Locks 6, Balding Furies 1
Flowing Locks: Jason Eitel 2, “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick, Christopher DiMotta, Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri, Dan Thompson
Balding Furies: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta
Sky Fighters 3, Dark Rainbows 2 (OT)
Sky Fighters: Greg “Mr. August” Cohan 3 (3)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (4), P.T. Walkley (3)
Game Notes: Cohan scored the game-winning goal in overtime.
Denim Demons 3, Unicorns 2
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (7), Danny Polinsky (1)
Unicorns: Chris (2), Lindsay (1)
Happy Little Elves 9, Cobra Kai 3
Happy Little Elves: Rob “Smash” Muggeo 3 (3), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos 2 (4), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri 2 (2), Trevor Beauclair (5), Gil Valdez (4)
Cobra Kai: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (1), Mark Kleinkecht (1), J.J. Murphy (1)
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves maintain possession of the Barnacle Bowl.
Filthy Gorgeous 4, LBS, Inc. 1
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira (3), Caroline Currie (1), Joe “Monster Mash” Essock (1), Joe Pereira (1)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (2)
La Famiglia 3, Tompkins Square Riots 1
La Famiglia: Roger Ma 2 (3), Denis Miciletto (4)
Tompkins Square Riots: Craig Thompson (2)
Gouging Anklebiters 3, Gut Rot 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex Derhohannesian (4), Sarah Moore (2), Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato (1)
Gut Rot: Jefferson (2)
Fresh Kills 4, Mathematics 0
Fresh Kills: Justin Ross (3), Dave Sokolyansky (3), Patrick Moore (1), Eugene Rha (1)
Shutout: Patrick Barch (3)
Butchers 4, Poutine Machine 1
Butchers: Ben Bloom 3 (3), Gary Cohen (1)
Poutine Machine: Kevin MacDonald (1)
Rehabs 1, Mega Touch 0
Rehabs: Adam Skuse (3)
Shutout: Anthony Romeo (1)
Week 6 Preview
Thursday, May 20th, 2010Dan Hopper Is Having The Best Week Ever
GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (1-2-0-1) at Sky Fighters (2-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
Game Notes: Past champions collide in this highly anticipated Hackett Division battle. The Dark Rainbows struggled to open the season, with losses to the Unicorns, What The Puck, and Gouging Anklebiters. However, they are now coming off an impressive 4-2 win against the Happy Little Elves in a Fairy Tale Cup matchup. 2009 team scoring leader John Nielsen led the way in this contest with two goals, including the game-winner. The Sky Fighters were also slow out of the gate, as they too lost to What The Puck and the Unicorns. However, they have turned things around with back to back shutouts of Mega Touch and Poutine Machine. With both teams coming off of momentum-building wins, this matchup looks a lot better than it did a week ago.
Keys To The Game:
1. Although the Dark Rainbows are tied for most goals against in BTSH, goalie John Meyer played impressively last Sunday, holding the Happy Little Elves’ potent offense to only two.
2. Sky Fighters netminder James Stein has not allowed a goal in more than 100 minutes of play. How long can he continue this hot streak?
3. Due to attendance issues last week, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper almost had to break out his patented “50 Minutes of Martin” strategy. However, with an extra player showing up five minutes into the game, Martin played just a scant 40 minutes instead.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. They’ve gotten rid of all of their offseason rust.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. I’ll go with the more recent champions.
Watchability: 4 Abdos
