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The Elves Are Set To Defend The Cup

GAME OF THE WEEK
Corlears Hookers at Happy Little Elves
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-2
Game Notes: As has become tradition in BTSH, the two championship game participants will square off in a Week 1 rematch.  This year, the Happy Little Elves enter as the defending champions, while–as has become another tradition–the Corlears Hookers enter as the runner-up.  Little has changed on the Elves’ roster during the offseason, as their leading scorers Trevor Beauclair and Gil Valdez are both returning.  The team may appear a little faster this season, however, as team anchor Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri has moved to Oklahoma City.  Team captain Rich Glanzer has been appointed by team captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick as the new team anchor.  Like the Elves, the Corlears Hookers also had few significant losses.  In addition, the team is thrilled to welcome back two former superstars in Jock Paul and Noelle “Slapshot” Safar.  The presence of these two players was sorely missed during the championship game, as the duo has been known to strike fear into the hearts of even the calmest of  goaltenders.  League Nostradamus Rich Glanzer has projected that these two teams are the favorites to win the championship at the end of the season.  Although we are literally months away from the playoffs, both teams would certainly like to energize their season with a key win on Opening Day.
Keys To The Game:
1. Elves brunette sophomore Ryan Nakahara tallied two goals in last season’s championship, giving him four for the playoffs.  The Elves will once again need him to come through in the clutch if they wish to win this game.
2.  After missing several games last season, Hookers forward and co-captain Jason Eitel has vowed to have perfect attendance in 2011.  He has also vowed to pass a lot more, but the media do not believe either of these promises.
3. In the above photo, Glanzer is seen sporting a New York Jets t-shirt and a Buffalo Bills cap.  This Sunday, in another show of split loyalties and potential confusion, he plans to wear a Corlears Hookers cap in addition to his usual lime green Elves jersey.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  They are undefeated (4-0) on Opening Day.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves.  The team is eager to prove that last year’s playoff run and championship were not flukes.
Watchability: 4.5 deLacys. If this game were later in the season with a little more riding on it, it could be a 5.  For now, however, it should just be a very competitive game.

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