Posts Tagged ‘2011 Season’
Week 12 Preview
Thursday, July 7th, 2011La Famiglia Doesn’t Want To Blow This One
GAME OF THE WEEK
La Famiglia (6-1-1-2) at What The Puck (8-1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 10-0
Game Notes: Expect a high-scoring game this Sunday when the league’s top two offenses clash in this inter-conference showdown. Despite their differing methods of attack, What The Puck and La Famiglia currently rank first and second in team scoring, respectively. What The Puck has spread out the offense, boasting 11 different players with multiple goals this season, which more than any other team in the league. Only one player, Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman, cracks the league’s top 10 with 10 goals this season. La Famiglia, on the other hand, has relied heavily on two players, Denis Miciletto and Shafiq “Off Black” Perry. Miciletto (14) and Perry (10) have combined for 24 of the team’s 38 goals. Because of these explosive offenses, both of these teams reside at the top of their respective divisions. What The Puck holds a narrow two point lead over Fresh Kills in the Hackett Division, while La Famiglia has a three point cushion on the Unicorns in the Donohue Division. With both of these races still tight, the winner of this matchup will take a big step towards winning its division.
Keys To The Game:
1. La Famiglia has never beaten What The Puck. This was partly the reason behind captain David Ladanyi’s signing of the previously retired Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, who is a former What The Puck defender. Sadly, Ventolieri’s memory is not what it used to be, so he was unable to divulge any of What The Puck’s secrets.
2. To counter Ladanyi’s shrewd gambit, and to strengthen his goaltending depth chart, What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has signed former La Famiglia Tuques goaltender Minkus to a one-game contract. The two bonded while discussing the physics of Mets’ pitcher R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball.
3. What The Puck’s Brock “Butters” Bosacker has been feeling a lot of pressure to perform from his own teammates lately. “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse has repeatedly threatened to beat Brock if he doesn’t score a goal.
Eli’s Pick: La Famiglia. It’s about time for What The Puck’s annual summer swoon.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. Their depth carries them to the victory.
Watchability: 4.5 Malguarnera, Jrs. Both defenses have been just average this season, so these high-powered offenses should see a lot of good scoring opportunities.
Week 11 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011Way Too Many Elves
After three years of utter failure and disappointment, captain Rich Glanzer achieved his boyhood dream when the Happy Little Elves finally captured their first prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup last Sunday. The Cup, which is awarded annually to the winner of the triangular series among the Elves, Dark Rainbows, and Unicorns, was presented to Glanzer, co-captain Ben Chadwick, and guest captain Eli “The Calculator” Kazin following the Elves’ 5-3 win over the Rainbows. The team also defeated the Unicorns 4-3 in a shootout two weeks ago to open the 2011 series.
This prestigious (yet imaginary) trophy completes an unprecedented triple crown for the Happy Little Elves, who now possess the Fairy Tale Cup, the Barnacle Bowl, and less importantly, the BTSH championship. Captain Glanzer boasts, “The Elves are the Secretariat of BTSH. No one can catch us. I’ve dreamed about this day for 15 years. I’m especially proud of the Barnacle Bowl!”
Week 11 Box Scores
Monday, June 27th, 2011The Barnacle Bowl Is Falling Apart
Happy Little Elves 5, Dark Rainbows 3
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (8), Rob “Smash” Muggeo 2 (6), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (4)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (4), P.T. Walkley (4), Sean Reynolds (2)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves have clinched the Fairy Tale Cup with this win.
Sky Fighters 3, La Famiglia 1
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (8), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (7), Robert Kucera (4)
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto (14)
Goalie Win: James Stein
Gouging Anklebiters 2, Mathematics 1 (OT)
Gouging Anklebiters: Phil Donohue (3), Sarah Moore (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (6)
Goalie Win: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor
Game Notes: Moore scored the game-winning goal two minutes into overtime.
Filthy Gorgeous 6, Mega Touch 4
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 4 (10), “Gentleman” James Pereira (5), Matt Workman (2)
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (8), Harvey Jaswal (8), Jonathan Hanson (1)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Denim Demons 5, Tompkins Square Riots 1
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (4), Gordie Cohen 2 (3), “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau (1)
Tompkins Square Riots: Joe Fiore (6)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang (on loan from Cobra Kai)
What The Puck 4, Butchers 1
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (10), “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (5), Corey “Chongo” Winters (2), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (2)
Butchers: Beth Bruder (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
Rehabs 7, Gut Rot 3
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed 2 (5), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (3), Vinny Caruana (2), Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman (2), Bryan “Stork” Welch (2), Kami Moore (1)
Gut Rot: Mark 2 (4), Len (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo (on loan from What The Puck)
Game Notes: Bartlett dedicated his goal to Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, in honor of Ventolieri’s 40th birthday.
Fresh Kills 3, Unicorns 1
Fresh Kills: Matt Kazior (4), Nick Hobbs (2), Kevin “The Planet” Foster (1)
Unicorns: Krish (2)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
Poutine Machine 5, Cobra Kai 1
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John 2 (4), Dave Kucharsky (3), Chelsea Hicks (1), Andrew Therriault (1)
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy (2)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown
Corlears Hookers 6, LBS, Inc. 2
Corlears Hookers: Brendan “Dutch” Kearney 3 (6), Matt Zimmerman (6), Jason Eitel (2), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (2)
LBS, Inc.: Lawrence Goldstein (6), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (4)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson
Week 11 Preview
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011Fake Rivalry To Decide Fake Trophy
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (4-3-0-2) at Dark Rainbows (5-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-0
Game Notes: This is the final leg of the triangular series among the Happy Little Elves, Unicorns, and Dark Rainbows for the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. Two weeks ago, in the first leg, the Happy Little Elves rallied from a two-goal second half deficit to defeat the Unicorns 4-3 in a shootout. Last week, in the second leg, the Unicorns dominated the Dark Rainbows and came away with a convincing 5-1 victory. As a result, the 2010 champions, the Dark Rainbows, cannot maintain possession of the Fairy Tale Cup. The Happy Little Elves, on the other hand, need just one point to clinch the Cup for the first time in franchise history. However, a Rainbows regulation win would mean that the Unicorns would claim the Cup for the third time since the series started in 2008.
Keys To The Game:
1. Possibly looking ahead to this critical game, Elves goaltender Shaun deLacy played his worst game of the season last week, allowing five goals to the Corlears Hookers. Elves captain Rich Glanzer has made it clear to deLacy that if he struggles early, Glanzer will immediately sub in the team’s backup goalie…himself.
2. The Dark Rainbows enter this matchup on a three-game losing streak. They are looking to reverse this recent trend and would love to play spoiler for the Elves’ Cup hopes. Captain Sean Reynolds notes, “We’ll pay off the refs if we have to.”
3. Should the Elves win, the team will be in possession of the BTSH championship trophy, the Barnacle Bowl, and the Fairy Tale Cup. “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick is furiously working on building a bigger trophy case to display these honors, not realizing that two of them are imaginary.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I am the Elves’ guest captain this week, so picking the Dark Rainbows would be a conflict of interest.
Derek’s Pick: No pick. I have to remain neutral as the ref of this game, and I know my non-pick will upset Hockey Rich.
Watchability: 4 Nakaharas. One way or another, history will be made.
Week 10 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 21st, 2011Congratulations, Craig! You Get A Cookie!
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, Corlears Hookers. Olson weathered an onslaught of Elves shots to lead the Corlears Hookers to a 5-0 shutout, as well as a season sweep, of their Rubens Division foes. The win propelled the Hookers into sole possession of first place in the league’s top division.
Second Star: Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns. Ug played between the pipes for two different teams on Sunday, recording a victory in each game. In the first game, a crucial Fairy Tale Cup matchup, he allowed just one goal, as his Unicorns defeated the Dark Rainbows 5-1. Later in the day, LaCombe donned his pads once more for the Gouging Anklebiters and helped them win their second game of the season. These Father’s Day victories were made even more special as his parents were in attendance to watch their son play.
First Star: Denis Miciletto, La Famiglia. Miciletto once again sparked The Family’s dominant offense with a four-goal performance in his team’s 7-4 win against the Tompkins Square Riots. This was his fourth consecutive game with at least one goal, and Miciletto now leads BTSH with 13 goals on the season.
