Posts Tagged ‘alpha male’
Season Preview: What The Puck
Friday, March 11th, 2011Who Will Be Larry’s Next Acquisition?
Color: Orange
Year Founded: 2001
2010 Regular Season Finish: 8-7 (5th, Rubens Division; 13th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Gut Rot in opening round
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
2010 Leading Scorer: Tom MacDonald, 10 goals
Team Song: Tragically Hip – Wheat Kings
Key Additions: Brock Bosacker, Alex Doucette, Anthony Romeo, “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (all from Rehabs)
Key Losses: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta (Mega Touch)
Thank You
Monday, November 8th, 2010He Likes Us Because We Don’t Wear White
It’s always a little bittersweet and surreal for us to sit down and write our traditional final post of the season. To be frank, after writing several times per week since March, we need a break, so we’re definitely happy to get a (what is hopefully a well-deserved) rest for a few months.
Of course, it’s also a little disappointing to see such a fun season end. We’re just one week removed from league activity, and we’re already beginning to see how little there is to do on Sunday when BTSH doesn’t occupy 8-9 hours of the day (besides, you know, sleeping in, watching the NFL, and spending quality time with non-hockey friends and family).
As we reflect back on another eventful season, there are several fond memories that stand out. Here are just a few:
- Calisthenics with Adam Rubens
- Rich Glanzer’s futile attempts at media boycotts
- Baby John Nielsen
- The All-Star Game, the Old Timer’s Game, and the Women’s Tournament
- The first (annual) BTSH Pub Crawl
- Amy’s Booze Berries and returning to Corlears Hook Park
- The Anklebiters Hazing Scandal
- Peter Lang and $howT!m3’s failed attempt to form a goalie union
- The Sega NHL ’94 Tournament
- The Butchers’ Cinderella-like playoff run, and yes, the Elves’ eventual championship
Having said that, we would like to conclude by thanking some of the people who made the season so memorable. First and foremost, massive thanks to our correspondents Jesse Kalb and Abby “Tayne” Meisterman, who both contributed a ton to the website this season. Jesse’s insightful and witty game previews finally accomplished our goal of elevating the Hockey Night in Tompkins games to a level of legitimate importance. Abby’s “Dirty Laundry” column was consistently the highlight of the News and Notes post each week, and we’re looking forward to seeing more from her next season. We would also like to extend a brief thank you to the following people:
- Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, whose leadership is rivaled only by Mussolini’s
- “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick, for putting up with annoying G-chat messages pertaining to website issues
- Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer, for accepting blame whenever anything went wrong with the website…even if he was not aware of it
- Rich Glanzer and his Happy Little Elves, for being great comedic fodder and dominating the comments section
- Joe Lops, who has excellent calf muscles
- The rookie class of 2010, which was one of the best in recent memory
- Anita Khar, who has an awesome beach house on the Connecticut shoreline
- Amy Jones and Jaclyn Lee, for including us in their yet to be released documentary
- Dave Ladanyi, for reminding us of the “Golden Age” of BTSH
- You, the reader, for not saying anything when we mailed one in
We look forward to seeing everyone again next season. Keep checking the website throughout the winter for updates and guest columns.
Your humble correspondents,
Eli Kazin &
Derek Tagliarino
Week 20 Preview
Thursday, September 17th, 2009It’s Good To Be The Alpha Male
GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (12-4-0-1) vs. LBS, Inc. (11-4-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 6-5-1
Game Notes: This makeup of a “rain fears” game features the top two teams in the Schloeder Division, the Dark Rainbows and LBS, Inc. After a tough three game stretch, the Dark Rainbows have rebounded with consecutive wins against the Gouging Anklebiters and Tuques. Captain Sean Reynolds has led the team by example, as he has recorded three goals during these two wins. LBS, Inc. enters the game headed in the opposite direction, as the Corporation has lost its last two games following an eight-game winning streak. To add insult to inury, both of these losses came at the hands of teams with losing records at the time of the game. With only three weeks left in the regular season, the outcome of this game could determine the Schloeder Division champion.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite sitting in fifth place, the Dark Rainbows only have a goal differential of +3. They have shown heart by winning a lot of close games, but when they lose, it’s usually not pretty. Goaltender John Meyer will need to keep the game close for his team to win.
2. LBS, Inc. forward Karsten Pichon leads the league with 24 goals. He enters this game riding a six-game scoring streak.
3. With the Rainbows and LBS, Inc. each playing a tough game earlier in the afternoon, stamina and depth will be crucial in this matchup.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. They seem to be back on track.
Derek’s Pick: No pick. Derek will be reffing this game.
Watchability: 4.5 Meyers
Week 2 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009Prepare For A White Out
The Alpha Male Isn’t Going To Like This One…
Yet another new team uniform was unveiled last Sunday, as Mexican Standoff debuted a hot new look for 2009. In the team’s continuing quest to go incognito this season, Peaches and his crew have toned down the team’s shirt to a very plain white, with a small, modest logo. In addition, the jerseys no longer have player nicknames on the back, as Standoff has gone the New England Patriots route by choosing to highlight the team over individuality. When reached for comment, LBS, Inc. loud mouth “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin was once again not happy with another team adopting white as its primary color.
Week 14 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008Those Crayons Came All The Way From Easton, PA
Sascha Was Too Embarrassed Even To Show Up
In one of the marquee matchups of the day, a highly motivated LBS, Inc. defeated the Corlears Hookers and officially established themselves as the “white team” of BTSH. Although this game had important implications regarding playoff seeding, there was far more at stake between the two teams. As the self-proclaimed cleanest player in the league Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin explained earlier this summer, “We’ve been wearing white since this league was initiated!” However, when the Corlears Hookers formed last season, they also adopted white as one of their primary team colors. Although the game had no formal stakes to it, it was clear that the winner would be perceived as the top “white team” of BTSH.
The game proved as intense as one might expect with such a large payout, but LBS, Inc. eventually emerged victorious from the battle. The Alpha Male’s fiery (albeit, somewhat nonsensical) pre-game ramblings had actually motivated his team to go the extra mile. Following the game, the media presented him with a box of Crayola crayons featuring 64 different colors to honor his now famous rant. The Alpha Male claims he will continue to find ways to pump up his team as they prepare for a deep run in the playoffs.
