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With BTSH’s reputation as the most successful matchmaking service this side of CHRISTIANSINGLES.COM (and without all the weird debates about transubstantiation), “How to be sexier?” is the question on every ball hockey player’s mind right now.

Luckily THE ORG has your answer.

Is it about standing next to Adriano while he eats a popsicle in the blazing summer heat? Is it about signing up for  the Hookers so you can pepper your conversation with prostitution related double entendres? Or joining Filthy Gorgeous just so you can wear those questionable cream colored V-necks?

Surprisingly, none of the above.

Recent studies in the NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF SPORTS THAT ARE MOSTLY EXCUSES TO DRINK shows that volunteering to referee increases subject’s attractiveness by at least 200%. There’s something about a man (or woman) with a whistle that gets everybody’s engines running hot.

Luckily, BTSH is always on the lookout for new refs. In fact, Danny Polinski is dedicating the first few weeks of the season to training to brand new officials.

How does reffing make you sexier?

1)   You get to know players on other teams. People who don’t know you quite like your teammates do (and thus are more likely to date you).

2)   It’s a thin line between love and hate. And most people hate referees.

3)   You get to work with Chris aka “Creamy” aka “Dreamy” Dimotta. Can you say “halo effect”?

4)   It’s a proven fact that vertical stripes (even metaphorical ones) are slimming.

5)   You’ll be helping out your Captain and teammates. Every BTSH team is supposed to supply three refs and gratitude is a proven aphrodisiac. Teams that don’t supply refs are doomed to lives of alcoholism and celibacy (I’m looking at you 2011 Gut Rot).

Want to take the first step to the new, better you? Tell your Captain that you’re interested in being an official. You’ll be glad you did.

Oh and one more thing. Remember to bring your own whistle. THE ORG  has no problem with you swapping spit but save it for the ACE, ok?