Posts Tagged ‘Corlears Hookers’
Week 19 Preview
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009Jason Eitel Is Gunning For The Demons…Again
GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (11-0-2-3) vs. Corlears Hookers (11-3-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-1
Game Notes: The Rubens Division crown will be at stake when these two rivals meet again on Sunday. In their first meeting, the Hookers prevailed in a shootout, but only after the Demons tied the game late in regulation. Since then, the Fightin’ Rubens have continued to come through in the clutch with late, game-saving goals, and as a result, have still not lost a game in regulation. However, despite this tendency for late game heroics, they lost their last game to another division rival, the Happy Little Elves, in overtime. The Corlears Hookers have had an extra week to prepare for this crucial matchup, as their most recent game was postponed due to tournament commitments. However, in the previous weekend, they played twice, defeating Mexican Standoff and losing to the Sky Fighters. They now sit in third place in the BTSH standings, three points behind the Denim Demons and four points behind What The Puck. With only five regular season games remaining for each of these teams, this contest will go a long way in determining the top playoff seeds in BTSH, as well as the inaugural Rubens Division champion.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite the importance of this late season battle, the Denim Demons will be without the services of starting goalie, Aaron “Coach” Pagdon. Both of their backups, Noah Farkas and Zack Tinkelman, are extremely capable, but Pagdon’s imposing presence will be missed.
2. Although she can never legally use it in a sanctioned BTSH game, Noelle Safar of the Corlears Hookers is notorious for having one of the hardest slapshots in the league.
3. Corlears Hookers forward Jason Eitel is currently second in BTSH with 21 goals, while Demons forward Jeff Kamen is seventh with 14. As the scoring race continues to heat up, it will be a treat to see what each superstar can do for his team.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Eitel is also gunning for that scoring title.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. They will benefit from having Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson as their goalie for most of their remaining games.
Watchability: 5 Dutch’s Brothers
Week 8 Preview
Thursday, May 28th, 2009Mungo Gives This Matchup One Thumb Up
GAME OF THE WEEK
Corlears Hookers (4-1-0-1) vs. Fresh Kills (2-4)
Location: Tompkins East, 6:30 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-1
Game Notes: For the first time since the 2008 BTSH championship game, these two Rubens Division rivals will square off in Sunday’s prime-time matchup. The Corlears Hookers have performed as expected this season, as they have continued to dominate most of their opponents. However, they have been plagued by low attendance nearly every week, which has been a contributing factor in their two losses. Fresh Kills’ season has been a bit of a disappointment thus far. After splitting their first two games on the road, they returned home to raise their championship banner and gain a much needed win against the Tuques. Since that day, however, they have lost three games in a row and sit at 13th in the standings. Although Fresh Kills is the clear underdog here, they have thrived when counted out in the past, as they were in a similar position entering last year’s championship game.
Keys To The Game:
1. Corlears Hookers forward Jason Eitel is tied for the league lead with nine goals. He was not present for the 2008 championship game and is planning to make amends for that.
2. Fresh Kills defender turned forward Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg now has two goals on the season and won’t shut up about it. He boasts, “No one can stop me. I have the most accurate outside shot in the league and my presence near the crease cannot be matched.”
3. In order to combat his team’s pereceived negative image, Corlears Hookers captain Peter “Purple Rain” Putka has introduced a series of promotional days throughout the season. This Sunday, the first 20 fans under the age of 12 will receieve a free Albert “Al” Huang Trapper Keeper, which will hopefully showcase the Hookers’ commitment to education.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. A big game is expected out of Huang on his promotional day…that is, if he’s allowed off the bench.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Revenge will only be temporarily sweet as Fresh Kills still holds the more important win.
Week 2 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009Prepare For A White Out
The Alpha Male Isn’t Going To Like This One…
Yet another new team uniform was unveiled last Sunday, as Mexican Standoff debuted a hot new look for 2009. In the team’s continuing quest to go incognito this season, Peaches and his crew have toned down the team’s shirt to a very plain white, with a small, modest logo. In addition, the jerseys no longer have player nicknames on the back, as Standoff has gone the New England Patriots route by choosing to highlight the team over individuality. When reached for comment, LBS, Inc. loud mouth “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin was once again not happy with another team adopting white as its primary color.
Week 2 Box Scores
Monday, April 6th, 2009Somebody Please Slap Gavin’s Hand
Corlears Hookers 3, Denim Demons 2 (OT-SO)
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel (4), Anshu Sinha (1)
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira (2), Jim Dandeneau (1)
Shootout: Corlears Hookers win 2-0. Successful attempts by Jason Eitel and Noelle Safar.
Game Notes: Pereira scored the game-tying goal with five minutes remaining in regulation.
Sky Fighters 3, LBS, Inc. 1
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 2 (5), Christian Mack (2)
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (2)
Gouging Anklebiters 2, Rehabs 1
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (3), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (1)
Rehabs: Sean “$howJu” McClain (2)
Game Notes: DiPierri’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with nine minutes remaining in regulation.
Dark Rainbows 2, Happy Little Elves 1
Dark Rainbows: Sean Reynonds (2), John Nielsen (1)
Happy Little Elves: Rob Muggeo (3)
Game Notes: Nielsen’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with seven minutes remaining in regulation. The Dark Rainbows’ win clinches the (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup for the Unicorns.
Unicorns 4, Mathematics 3 (OT-SO)
Unicorns: Chris 2 (4), John Mark (1)
Mathematics: Jeff “The Hawk” Hawkins (1), Andy Pratt (1), Harmon Walsh (1)
Shootout: Unicorns win 1-0. Successful attempt by Susanna.
Game Notes: John Mark scored the game-tying goal with four minutes remaining in regulation.
Filthy Gorgeous 5, Mega Touch 0
Filthy Gorgeous: Sunny Mehra 2 (3), James Pereira (5), Matt Novick (1), Ali Berkin (1)
Shutout: Dan “D.O” Owens (1)
What The Puck 5, Tuques 0
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2 (3), Sal Malguarnera (3), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (2), Ollie Hartman (1)
Shutout: Kevin Lutsky (1)
Game Notes: Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri claims he had two assists. However, this is unverified, as this does not count as an assist.
Fresh Kills 4, Cobra Kai 0
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky 2 (2), Kevin “The Planet” Foster (1), Patrick Moore (1)
Shutout: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Game Notes: Owens, filling in for Fresh Kills goalie Dave Gil de Rubio, notched his second shutout of the day.
Mighty Squirrels 3, Mexican Standoff 0
Mighty Squirrels: Dave Paglia (1), Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (1), Miky Wolf (1)
Shutout: Eric Ramirez (1)
Week 2 Preview
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009Jason Eitel Is Gunning For The Demons
GAME OF THE WEEK
Corlears Hookers (1-0) vs. Denim Demons (1-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Although both of these bitter Rubens Division rivals were victorious last week, they each earned their win in very different fashions. The Corlears Hookers coasted to a five goal victory against the Tuques Army, despite having only one substitute. Jason Eitel led the way with a hat trick, while the defense stymied the Tuques, holding them to only one goal. The Denim Demons had to scratch and claw their way past a spunky Happy Little Elves team, despite being heavy favorites. Although they won the game in the end, the Demons actually trailed twice before scoring the game winning goal late in the second half. When the Demons and Hookers last met, the Fightin’ Rubens eked out a one goal victory in an extremely competitive and vicious game. The Hookers will look to avenge this loss on Sunday, giving them bragging rights until the next meeting on September 13.
Keys To The Game:
1. Hookers captain Peter “Purple Rain” Putka has been busy on the phone all week ensuring he will have more than one sub for Sunday’s game. However, reports indicate that Putka has “misplaced” the contact information for Albert “Al” Huang.
2. Although the Denim Demons struggled against the Elves last week, they were also missing top talent Micael Holmström. His expected return this week should strengthen an already stingy defense.
3. Demons player Zack Tinkelman has made it extremely clear that he’s planning to cheap shot any Hooker who scores a goal. Why else would he reference this in an earlier comment?
Eli’s Pick: Denim Demons. Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens must have a few tricks up his sleeve.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. If they all show up, there is just too much raw talent to overcome.
