Posts Tagged ‘Corlears Hookers’

Season Preview: Corlears Hookers

Wednesday, March 18th, 2009

Hookers Go With Softer Image In 2009

Putka

Color: Purple/White
Year Founded: 2007
2008 Regular Season Finish: 13-4 (3rd place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Fresh Kills in championship game
Division: Rubens
2009 Marketing Slogan: “This is Dutch’s team.”
Key Additions: None
Key Losses: Chris Beauvois

(more…)

Playoff Preview: Championship Game

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

The Corlears Hookers Have Two Words For Fresh Kills

#3 Corlears Hookers (16-4) vs. #10 Fresh Kills (11-8-0-1)
Location:
Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
2008 Result: Week 6 – Corlears Hookers 4, Fresh Kills 0
Game Notes: For the second consecutive season, the Corlears Hookers have advanced to the championship game.  Unlike last year, when the Hookers battled through the playoffs with three one-goal victories en route to the final, they have cruised in 2008.  In just three playoff games, they have posted twenty goals, including five apiece for Reilly “Fake Dutch” Olson and Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney.  With only three goals allowed, their defense and goaltending have been extremely impressive as well.  As would be expected of a Cinderella team, Fresh Kills has faced a tougher road.  Although they clinched a spot in the final with a 3-1 victory over LBS, Inc. last week, their previous two wins came by only one goal, including a double overtime thriller against What The Puck.  Their offense has revolved around the Sokolyansky brothers, who have accounted for 50% of their postseason scoring.  Fresh Kills, now in their seventh year, have had varying degrees of success in the regular season, but have perennially made a deep run in the playoffs.  In their brief stint in BTSH, the Corlears Hookers have been a dominant force, with an overall record of 35-6 and two championship game appearances.  Both teams, however, are still searching for their first title.  On Sunday, one of them will finally capture BTSH glory.
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. After shaking off some rust in the first half, goalie Chris Beauvois held Filthy Gorgeous scoreless in the second half of their semifinal matchup.  When he is in a rhythm, even the most dangerous of shooters struggle to find the net against him.
2. Although Olson and Kearney have led the team in postseason scoring, Jason Eitel tied for fourth in the league with fifteen regular season goals, despite missing several games with an injury.  He will be another dangerous weapon in the Hookers’ already loaded arsenal.
3. It may not be a coincidence that the Hookers have heated up with Brendan “Dutch” Kearney out with an injury.  Perhaps with him on the sidelines, the jealousy and backstabbing has finally cooled down.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Feed off the energy of the fans.  BTSH loves an underdog, and the heckle wall will be heavily tilted against the favored Corlears Hookers.
2. With a goals against average of just over one goal per game in the playoffs, goalie Dave Gil de Rubio has quietly had an impressive postseason.  He will have to be at the top of his game while facing the Hookers’ snipers.
3. Don’t let Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg shoot…or pass.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Getting shutout in last year’s final should be enough to motivate them for this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  When the Hookers are at full attendance, Fresh Kills cannot match them player for player.
Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Fresh Kills are the Buffalo Bills of BTSH.  They will never win it.  “Lessy” is a poor man’s Jim Kelly.

Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part I)

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

Bad Neighbors?

#3 Corlears Hookers (15-4) vs. #4 Filthy Gorgeous (14-4-1)
Location:
Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
2008 Result: Week 2 – Corlears Hookers 3, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Game Notes: Due to the intertwining history of the Corlears Hookers and Filthy Gorgeous, there is no shortage of bad blood between these two teams.  Peter “Purple Rain” Putka, Chris Beauvois, and Josh Sadlier-Brown were all members of Filthy Gorgeous in 2006, but left the team the following season to establish the Corlears Hookers.  There are a litany of other backstories in this rivalry, but decorum prohibits listing them here.  Although their first round win over Cobra Kai was somewhat expected, the Hookers made an emphatic statement last Sunday by defeating the defending champion Dark Rainbows 8-0.  With a nearly full roster (whither Dutch?) in attendance for the game, they finally showcased their full talent and potential.  While Filthy Gorgeous hasn’t been as dominant as the Hookers offensively in the postseason, the defense has been just as stingy.  Goalie Dan Owens and the Filthy D combined to shut out the Denim Demons, and they held the Mathematics to only two goals.  Filthy Gorgeous has never beaten the Corlears Hookers, but a close game is expected as each of their two previous meetings was decided by just two goals.
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. The Corlears Hookers boast what is arguably the best goalie tandem in all of BTSH.  Regardless of whether Chris Beauvois or Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson starts for them this week, a shutout is always a distinct possibility.
2. Although their women tend to fly under the radar, they are just as responsible for the Hookers’ deep playoff run as the guys are.
3. Albert “Al” Huang’s aggressive and up-tempo style of play energizes and motivates his teammates, but it has occassionally gotten him into trouble with his opposition and the league’s referees.  Al is quick to point out, however, that he could never possibly cheat…because “dudes with glasses just don’t do that”.
Keys To The Game For Filthy Gorgeous:
1. Although star forward James Pereira was held off the scoreboard in the quarterfinals, Filthy still managed to rally behind him to seal the victory.  However, as his first round output of five goals indicates, he is still fully capable of taking over a game offensively.
2. Rookie sensation Matt Workman scored Filthy’s only goal in their regular season meeting with the Hookers.  He has been a key player for them all season, and they will need another strong performance by him in this game.
3. While Dan Owens has been very solid in goal, and we believe he has a firm lock on the position, Filthy does have an extremely capable backup in Liza Watts.  She has already notched a victory in the highly competitive Women’s All-Star Game this season.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Defense wins championships, and they have allowed, by a very sizable margin, the fewest goals in the league (23 goals in 19 games).
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers.  Each of the other three semi-finalist teams implored me not to pick them at some point on Sunday, so this is a way to make at least one of them happy.

Photo of the Week

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

Motivational Techniques

“If we beat Filthy, everybody gets one turn!”

Season Preview: Corlears Hookers

Monday, April 7th, 2008

Welcome to Dutch Country

Dutch Farms

Color: Purple/White
Year Founded: 2007
2007 Regular Season Finish: 16-1 (1st place)
2007 Playoff Result: Lost to Dark Rainbows in championship game
Key Additions: Jonathan Bartlett (Free Agent), Jason Eitel (Free Agent)
Key Losses: None
Fan Base: The Netherlands, Wisconsin

(more…)