Posts Tagged ‘Fresh Kills’
Playoff Preview: Championship Game
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008The Corlears Hookers Have Two Words For Fresh Kills
#3 Corlears Hookers (16-4) vs. #10 Fresh Kills (11-8-0-1)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 2-0
2008 Result: Week 6 – Corlears Hookers 4, Fresh Kills 0
Game Notes: For the second consecutive season, the Corlears Hookers have advanced to the championship game. Unlike last year, when the Hookers battled through the playoffs with three one-goal victories en route to the final, they have cruised in 2008. In just three playoff games, they have posted twenty goals, including five apiece for Reilly “Fake Dutch” Olson and Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney. With only three goals allowed, their defense and goaltending have been extremely impressive as well. As would be expected of a Cinderella team, Fresh Kills has faced a tougher road. Although they clinched a spot in the final with a 3-1 victory over LBS, Inc. last week, their previous two wins came by only one goal, including a double overtime thriller against What The Puck. Their offense has revolved around the Sokolyansky brothers, who have accounted for 50% of their postseason scoring. Fresh Kills, now in their seventh year, have had varying degrees of success in the regular season, but have perennially made a deep run in the playoffs. In their brief stint in BTSH, the Corlears Hookers have been a dominant force, with an overall record of 35-6 and two championship game appearances. Both teams, however, are still searching for their first title. On Sunday, one of them will finally capture BTSH glory.
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. After shaking off some rust in the first half, goalie Chris Beauvois held Filthy Gorgeous scoreless in the second half of their semifinal matchup. When he is in a rhythm, even the most dangerous of shooters struggle to find the net against him.
2. Although Olson and Kearney have led the team in postseason scoring, Jason Eitel tied for fourth in the league with fifteen regular season goals, despite missing several games with an injury. He will be another dangerous weapon in the Hookers’ already loaded arsenal.
3. It may not be a coincidence that the Hookers have heated up with Brendan “Dutch” Kearney out with an injury. Perhaps with him on the sidelines, the jealousy and backstabbing has finally cooled down.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Feed off the energy of the fans. BTSH loves an underdog, and the heckle wall will be heavily tilted against the favored Corlears Hookers.
2. With a goals against average of just over one goal per game in the playoffs, goalie Dave Gil de Rubio has quietly had an impressive postseason. He will have to be at the top of his game while facing the Hookers’ snipers.
3. Don’t let Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg shoot…or pass.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Getting shutout in last year’s final should be enough to motivate them for this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. When the Hookers are at full attendance, Fresh Kills cannot match them player for player.
Craig “Ug” LaCombe’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Fresh Kills are the Buffalo Bills of BTSH. They will never win it. “Lessy” is a poor man’s Jim Kelly.
Semifinals Box Scores
Monday, October 20th, 2008Fresh Kills Marches Into The Championship Game
#10 Fresh Kills 3, #2 LBS, Inc. 1
Fresh Kills: Ariel Imas, “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser, Mike Sokolyansky
LBS, Inc.: Dustin Shutes
Game Notes: Imas broke a 1-1 tie with 20 minutes remaining in regulation.
#3 Corlears Hookers 4, #4 Filthy Gorgeous 2
Corlears Hookers: Reilly “Fake Dutch” Olson 2, Albert “Al” Huang, Noelle Safar
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik, Jonathan Rick
Game Notes: Olson’s second goal of the game broke a 2-2 tie with 15 minutes remaining in regulation.
What The Puck 5, Denim Demons 1
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 2, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2, Corey “Chongo” Winters
Denim Demons: Emily Carson
Unicorns 3, Dark Rainbows 1
Unicorns: Chris 3
Dark Rainbows: Sean Reynolds
Mathematics 5, Gouging Anklebiters 2
Mathematics: Adam Langer 2, Andy Pratt 2, Amy Anderla
Gouging Anklebiters: Phil “Sandy” Donohue, Peter “Geech” Prohaska
Rehabs 2, Mighty Squirrels 0
Rehabs: Sal Malguarnera, Bryan “Stork” Welch
Shutout: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor (Gouging Anklebiters)
Cobra Kai 6, Sky Fighters 2
Cobra Kai: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 3, Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito 2, Mariko Nakatani
Sky Fighters: Imraan Farukhi, Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker
Game Notes: The Sky Fighters played the entire game with only six players and no official goalie.
Bad Touch 3, Mexican Standoff 2
Bad Touch: Eric Devlin 2, Greg Kellerman
Mexican Standoff: Karey Bakker, Len Guinto
Tuques 2, Happy Little Elves 1
Tuques: Peter Wilson 2
Happy Little Elves: Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos
Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part II)
Thursday, October 16th, 2008Yeah, Fernando, We’re Going To Need You To Come In On Sunday…
#2 LBS, Inc. (15-3-1) vs. #10 Fresh Kills (10-8-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Fresh Kills leads 9-5
2008 Result: Week 15 – LBS, Inc. 6, Fresh Kills 3
Game Notes: As the #2 seed, LBS, Inc. was supposed to be in this game. They have looked nearly impenetrable throughout the regular season, and their momentum continued into the playoffs. In the opening round, they blanked Mexican Standoff 4-0, despite the absence of star player (and self-proclaimed “cleanest player in the game”) “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin. They also weathered a spirited challenge from the Unicorns in the quarterfinals, ultimately prevailing in a shootout. As the #10 seed, Fresh Kills is the clear Cinderella story of the playoffs for the second consecutive year. After a mediocre regular season, Fresh Kills turned on the light switch for the postseason. In the opening round, they survived a 1-0 battle against the dangerous Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka-led Sky Fighters with gritty play and tenacity. They continued by stunning regular season champion What The Puck the following Sunday. Both LBS, Inc. and Fresh Kills have been cornerstones of the league for several seasons, resulting in a storied and competitive rivalry. Although LBS, Inc. defeated Fresh Kills in their 2008 regular season matchup, Fresh Kills is responsible for eliminating The Corporation from the playoffs in 2007.
Keys To The Game For LBS, Inc.:
1. “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser may be a star in some circles, but “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin isn’t buying it. He warned, “We’re going to hand Jeff Lessy [sic] his ass implants back to him after the game.” Whether Poulin’s comments actually serve to motivate his team remains to be seen.
2. Karsten Pichon finished second in the regular season with 20 goals and has also added two more in the playoffs. When he is on, LBS, Inc. is tough to beat.
3. Captain Sascha Puritz is always quick to note that Seth Wachtell has been one of BTSH’s top goalies over the past few seasons, despite a limited amount of press. He is the only goalie remaining in the playoffs who has led his team to a championship.
Keys To The Game For Fresh Kills:
1. Alicia Walker returned to the team last week after a brief (and unexcused) hiatus to get married. While she does not score a lot of goals, she has already fit back into her familiar role as one of Fresh Kills’ top playmakers.
2. Dave Sokolyansky will serve as Fresh Kills’ offensive counter-punch to the scoring prowess of Karsten Pichon. Last week, Sokolyansky tallied a hat trick, including the game-winner in double overtime.
3. Don’t let Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg shoot.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Every time The Alpha Male has run his mouth, they have followed it up with a win.
Derek’s Pick: LBS, Inc. Fresh Kills’ playoff run makes for a very nice story, but I don’t think it’s in the cards for them to advance another round.
Playoff Opening Round Box Scores
Monday, October 6th, 2008Fresh Kills Looks Ahead To The Next Round
#10 Fresh Kills 1, #7 Sky Fighters 0
Fresh Kills: Caroline Currie
Shutout: Dave Gil de Rubio
#18 Bad Touch 2, #15 Gouging Anklebiters 1
Bad Touch: Eric Devlin, Joe Lops
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco
Game Notes: Lops scored the game winning goal with two minutes remaining in regulation. The Bad Touch had no females in attendance and had to play the entire game 3-on-5.
#16 Mexican Standoff 4, #17 Happy Little Elves 1
Mexican Standoff: Ben Bloom 2, Gary Cohen 2
Happy Little Elves: Rob Muggeo
#1 What The Puck 10, #18 Bad Touch 0
What The Puck: Tom MacDonald 2, Brian Vroom 2, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer 2, Michelle Doucet, Corey “Chongo” Winters
Shutout:Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz
Game Notes: The Bad Touch had no females in attendance and had to play the entire game 3-on-5.
#2 LBS, Inc. 4, #16 Mexican Standoff 0
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon 2, Jason Bogdaneris, Karen Erickson
Shutout: Seth Wachtell
#3 Corlears Hookers 8, #14 Cobra Kai 1
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney 4, Jason Eitel, Albert “Al” Huang, Josh Sadlier-Brown, Matthew Zimmerman
Cobra Kai: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta
Game Notes: With only one female in attendance, Cobra Kai played shorthanded the entire game.
#4 Filthy Gorgeous 7, #13 Mathematics 2
Filthy Gorgeous: James Pereira 5, Sunny Mehra, Jonathan Rick
Mathematics: Adam Langer, Andy Pratt
Game Notes: Pereira broke a 2-2 tie with fifteen minutes remaining in regulation.
#5 Denim Demons 5, #12 Tuques 2
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 4, Danny Polinsky
Tuques: Gabe Wilson, Peter Wilson
#6 Dark Rainbows 2, #11 Mighty Squirrels 1
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen 2
Mighty Squirrels: Dave Paglia
#9 Unicorns 4, #8 Rehabs 0
Unicorns: Courtney, Mark, Nelson, Ryan
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe
Week 16 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008Whose Name Will Go Alongside Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette’s?
Does The Nickname Get Engraved Too?
With one week remaining in the season, the race for the coveted BTSH scoring title is heating up. Here is a breakdown of the top contenders:
5. Corey “Chongo” Winters, What The Puck (15 goals): Chongo remains a long shot to win this competition as he has a lot of ground to make up, and no individual player has scored more than five goals in a game this season. Although What The Puck’s potent offense is certainly capable of providing him with ample opportunity, the goals usually spread out among all of the team’s talented attackers.
4. Jason Eitel, Corlears Hookers (15 goals): Eitel has missed the Hookers’ last two games with an injury, and his status for the upcoming weekend is still unknown. However, should he be able to play, he will have the benefit of playing a makeup game, in addition to his regularly scheduled one.
3. Karsten Pichon, LBS, Inc. (17 goals): Pichon has the ability to put in three or more goals in any given game, as he has already had a five goal game earlier this season (against the Happy Little Elves). However, he will be closely marked by a staunch Denim Demons defense (try saying that three times fast), in a game that has playoff seeding implications at stake for both teams.
2. Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth, What The Puck (18 goals): Obviously similar to teammate Corey “Chongo” Winters, Woodsworth will benefit from What The Puck’s high-scoring offense. However, he will also be hamstrung by the broad distribution of goal scorers in captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s arsenal. Nevertheless, Woodsworth always brings a little something extra to the table…some might even say an “X-Factor”.
1. Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, Cobra Kai (20 goals): Bratta currently has a two goal lead on his nearest competitor, and with two games left to play, he is clearly the odds-on-favorite to collect this honor. Of greater suspense might be his battle with the Happy Little Elves for total goals in a season, which he currently leads by two.
