Posts Tagged ‘Gouging Anklebiters’
Week 4 News and Notes
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010Who Can Resist The Allure Of Family Day?
Inspired by the success of the Denim Demons’ Family Day in 2009, this past Sunday marked the first ever league-wide Family Day. League manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta encouraged all league members to invite their families and friends, and also to prepare a cherished food item.
Although the event was met with mild success, there were still several league members who participated. Amy Kovner of the Gouging Anklebiters brought chocolate-covered strawberries (STRAWBERRIES? AAAHHH!!!) and her husband, Mr. Kovner (Todd). Anklebiters captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue shared cupcakes from Sugar Sweet Sunshine bakery, which thankfully did not find their way into any of Minkus’ crevices. Jason Eitel of the Corlears Hookers forced his girlfriend to cook homemade empenadas with salsa, which he then noted were made by a real Colombian (unlike Eitel, who is neither Colombian nor Canadian). Bratta’s mother even made a brief cameo to serve her world famous tiramisu.
Mike Sokolyansky of Fresh Kills brought his brother Dave, who scored a goal, but did not cook.
Week 1 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010Anklebiters Under Investigation
BREAKING NEWS – BTSH.org has just been notified that the league’s new Disciplinary Committee manager, Haanwa Chau, has launched a formal investigation regarding potential hazing violations committed by the Gouging Anklebiters. Although it is suspected that these infractions have actually gone on for several years, it seems the former DC manager, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, never pursued any complaints. Part of Chau’s investigation will thus include a review of whether Schumacher himself has or had any ties to these allegations as well.
Several witnesses have testified that they saw two Anklebiter rookies, as well as one veteran, in Parkside Lounge on Friday sporting embarrassing and demeaning costumes that the senior members of the team forced them to wear. Despite these personal accounts, team captain Phil “Sandy” Donohue remains adamant in his stance that his team has done no wrong. He comments, “I fully anticipate that upon completion of this investigation, we will be absolved of all charges.” Your humble correspondants will continue to track this story as it unfolds.
Season Preview: Gouging Anklebiters
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010Now With 100% Less Foot
Color: Dark Blue
Year Founded: 2001
2009 Regular Season Finish: 8-11-2 (12th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in first round
Conference: Schumacher
Division: Donohue
Home Arena: The Shoe
2009 Leading Scorers: Charles DeFranco & Alex Derhohannesian, 12 goals
Key Additions: None
Key Losses: Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher (Retirement)
Week 14 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009A Closer Look At The Schloeder Division
Widely recognized as the “Fun Division,” the Schloeder Division includes some of the league’s most sociable teams. Although their hockey skills cannot be dismissed, teams such as the Mighty Squirrels, Gouging Anklebiters, and Mexican Standoff are better known for their off the court prowess and after hours activity. With Rachel “A-Korn” Greene, Phil “Sandy” Donohue, Amy Lott, Jefferson (Peaches), and Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett populating the division, it is no wonder that it is “always a good time in the Schloeder Division.”
Division Namesake:
Though her appearances have been few and far between this season, Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder of the Mighty Squirrels remains one of BTSH’s most popular personalities. Known for her sunny disposition, fondness of beer, and inherent love for the sport of hockey, Schloeder perfectly personifies what this division is all about.
Photo of the Week
Thursday, May 21st, 2009Double Secret Probation
Way to put your foot down, Schuie.
