Posts Tagged ‘Happy Little Elves’
Week 4 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009The Elves’ Fan Base Is Growing
Elves Win! Elves Win! (Seriously)
After several weeks of near misses, the Happy Little Elves finally notched their first regular season win since April 13, 2008, a drought that stretched for 378 days. An early goal by forward Chris O’Neill set the tone immediately, as the Elves cruised to a 3-0 victory over the Unicorns. Goalie Ronald Bettenhauser turned aside every shot he faced, earning the first shutout in Elves history.
With this victory, the Elves continue their relative mastery against teams that have yellow as a uniform color base. They are now 2-1 overall against the Tuques and Unicorns, but 0-17-1-1 against all other teams. As captain Ben Chadwick looks to continue this run of success, he has begun to analyze what went right against the Unicorns. Ironically, he was shocked to discover that the absence of Ben Chadwick might have been the primary cause of their stellar play. As Chadwick is known for keeping a trim roster, it is unclear whether he will leave Chadwick in the lineup for this Sunday’s game.
Despite this win, the Elves did not gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in 2009.
Season Preview: Happy Little Elves
Monday, March 16th, 2009Ben And Rich Plan To Turn The Elves Around 360 Degrees
Color: Kermit The Frog Green
Year Founded: 2008
2008 Regular Season Finish: 1-14-1-1 (17th place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Mexican Standoff in play-in game
Division: Rubens
2009 Marketing Slogan: “It can only get better.”
Key Additions: Chris Adrahtas (Free Agent), Peter Benedetto (Free Agent)
Key Losses: Jonathan “The Barnacle” Levine (Boston)
October 26th Consolation Games
Saturday, October 25th, 2008The Elves Are Taking This “Black Out” Thing A Little Too Far
Rehabs (11-6-1-1) vs. What The Puck (15-4-0-1)
Location: Moffo, 12:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 7-5
Game Notes: What The Puck player Celine Dujeux is questionable for this game after giving birth on Friday to a baby girl (Congratulations!). Now that Celine is no longer pregnant, Captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer fully expects her to play.
Mathematics (7-13) vs. Bad Touch (3-17-1)
Location: Corlears North, 12:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 3-1
Game Notes: These two teams combined for thirteen goals in their last meeting.
Cobra Kai (7-11-1-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-14-2-1)
Location: Corlears South, 12:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mexican Standoff leads 3-1
Game Notes: One of the employees at the deli near Moffo told Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens that he thinks “Mexican Sandwich” is a great team name.
Mighty Squirrels (7-10-3) vs. Denim Demons (12-5-2-1)
Location: Moffo, 12:45 PM
All-Time Series: Denim Demons lead 4-0
Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap a ten game losing streak.
Gouging Anklebiters (4-16) vs. Happy Little Elves (2-16-1-1)
Location: Corlears North, 1:15 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 1-0
Game Notes: Bad hockey.
LBS, Inc. (15-4-1) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (14-5-1)
Location: Corlears South, 1:15 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1-1
Game Notes: Third place is up for grabs in this matchup of semi-final losers.
Tuques (10-10) vs. Unicorns (12-6-0-2)
Location: Moffo, 1:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-0
Game Notes: With a win, the Tuques can finish the season with a winning record for the first time in team history.
Dark Rainbows (12-7-1) vs. Sky Fighters (11-8)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
Game Notes: Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker plans to attack Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds directly after the opening whistle…then claim it was a joke.
October 12th Consolation Games
Friday, October 10th, 2008The Elves Finally Get Top Billing
Happy Little Elves (1-15-1-1) vs. Bad Touch (2-16-1)
Location: Corlears North, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Bad Touch leads 1-0
Game Notes: The Elves are looking to snap a 14 game losing streak.
Mighty Squirrels (7-8-3) vs. Tuques (8-10)
Location: Corlears South, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tuques lead 6-1
Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap an eight game losing streak.
Gouging Anklebiters (4-14) vs. Mexican Standoff (3-13-2-1)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 8-3
Game Notes:Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters is questionable for this game, as he may be serving a team suspension.
Sky Fighters (11-7) vs. Rehabs (10-6-1-1)
Location: Corlears South, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Sky Fighters lead 4-3
Game Notes: This is actually a decent game.
Mathematics (6-12) vs. Cobra Kai (5-11-1-1)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 5-0
Game Notes: Sheena Otto of the Mathematics will be looking for revenge against her former team.
Week 15 News and Notes
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008Say No More (Mon Amour)
It’s Rex Manning Day!!!
A buzz was in the air last weekend. Although, on the face of it, Sunday seemed like it would just be a normal day of BTSH hockey, league commissioner Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg had other ideas. Through his extensive connections in the music industry, Weyersberg arranged for famed recording artist Rex Manning to appear at Welcome to the Johnson’s. He dubbed it “Rex Manning Day”. Despite the long lines this created at BTSH’s favorite hockey bar, everyones excitement level was sky-high for a chance to meet the British pop star. One BTSHer, Filthy Gorgeous’s Monica Russo, even fainted upon meeting the icon, when Manning gave her a light peck on the cheek. What The Puck’s Corey “Chongo” Winters described the spectacle, “This was truly the happiest day in my life. I have all of his albums, so to finally meet Rex Manning in person is a dream come true, eh?” The best news of the day came at the end of the evening, when bartender Brent Smith announced that the event had raised enough money to prevent the Johnson’s from turning into a Music Town.
