Posts Tagged ‘Happy Little Elves’
Week 16 Preview
Thursday, August 25th, 2011Two Of Hockey’s Greatest Minds?
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (7-4-1-2) at Fresh Kills (10-3-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 3-1
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves and Fresh Kills last met in the quarterfinals of the 2010 playoffs, when a seemingly harmless and unexpected timeout contributed to an Elves overtime victory. With Fresh Kills holding a one goal lead in the final minutes of regulation, captain David Sokolyansky inexplicably called a timeout, claiming his players needed a breather to weather the Elves’ anticipated final assault. However, the stoppage in play also allowed the Elves to change personnel and gave their captain Rich Glanzer–one of the premiere tacticians of BTSH–a chance to draw up the perfect play. As a result, the Elves’ brunette then-rookie Ryan Nakahara poked in the tying goal with less than a minute remaining in regulation. In overtime, Nakahara’s flaxen-haired linemate and overall good guy Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair scored the winning goal to send the Elves to the semifinals. With this comeback win as the backdrop for Sunday’s game, Fresh Kills will be looking to avenge its early exit from the 2010 playoffs, while the Happy Little Elves will look to continue their dominance in this series.
Keys To The Game:
1. Elves forward Gil Valdes has been red hot lately, scoring five goals in the team’s last three games. He is second on the team in scoring with 10 goals and tied for ninth in BTSH.
2. After an all-rookie performance in 2010, Fresh Kills goalie Patrick Barch has continued to excel this year, and he is currently third in the league with a 1.58 goals against average. Consequently, Fresh Kills boasts the league’s second best defense, having allowed just 22 goals this season.
3. Now that Elves goaltender Shaun deLacy has officially lost all of his bets pertaining to his season GAA, it is as if a giant weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Shaun notes, “It has always been my burden to strive for perfection. I now realize that is not possible this season, but I am happy to have learned an important lesson in humility and modesty, a lesson I will always treasure.”
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. Even with the Elves’ recent acquisition of Adela Ibric, Fresh Kills will have youth on their side, as Scott Lee remains the youngest player in this game by about a month.
Watchability: 4.5 Ibrics. This was a great playoff game last year, and both teams enter on winning streaks.
Week 15 News and Notes
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011The J Is For Jeremy Schumacher
For the second consecutive season, the Weyersberg and Schumacher conferences faced off in the annual BTSH All-Star Game. The Schumacher Conference was out for revenge this year after losing an intense 3-2 matchup last season. To ensure victory, two of the conference’s greatest hockey minds were recruited to coach the Schumacher All-Stars. Unfortunately, Cobra Kai’s Enayet “Retail” Rasul and Poutine Machine’s Jo-Ann Provencher had to back out, and the conference was left with the tandem of La Famiglia’s Shafiq “Off Black” Perry and Mega Touch’s Julie Katz. To make matters worse, the Weyersberg Conference selected the beloved duo of Trevor “T-Beau” Beauclair and Melissa Budnick of the Happy Little Elves as its coaches.
Week 11 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011Way Too Many Elves
After three years of utter failure and disappointment, captain Rich Glanzer achieved his boyhood dream when the Happy Little Elves finally captured their first prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup last Sunday. The Cup, which is awarded annually to the winner of the triangular series among the Elves, Dark Rainbows, and Unicorns, was presented to Glanzer, co-captain Ben Chadwick, and guest captain Eli “The Calculator” Kazin following the Elves’ 5-3 win over the Rainbows. The team also defeated the Unicorns 4-3 in a shootout two weeks ago to open the 2011 series.
This prestigious (yet imaginary) trophy completes an unprecedented triple crown for the Happy Little Elves, who now possess the Fairy Tale Cup, the Barnacle Bowl, and less importantly, the BTSH championship. Captain Glanzer boasts, “The Elves are the Secretariat of BTSH. No one can catch us. I’ve dreamed about this day for 15 years. I’m especially proud of the Barnacle Bowl!”
Week 11 Box Scores
Monday, June 27th, 2011The Barnacle Bowl Is Falling Apart
Happy Little Elves 5, Dark Rainbows 3
Happy Little Elves: Ryan Nakahara 2 (8), Rob “Smash” Muggeo 2 (6), Garrett “Ax” Carrino (4)
Dark Rainbows: John Nielsen (4), P.T. Walkley (4), Sean Reynolds (2)
Goalie Win: Shaun deLacy
Game Notes: The Happy Little Elves have clinched the Fairy Tale Cup with this win.
Sky Fighters 3, La Famiglia 1
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (8), Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (7), Robert Kucera (4)
La Famiglia: Denis Miciletto (14)
Goalie Win: James Stein
Gouging Anklebiters 2, Mathematics 1 (OT)
Gouging Anklebiters: Phil Donohue (3), Sarah Moore (1)
Mathematics: Bradley Schmidt (6)
Goalie Win: “Quiet” Mike O’Connor
Game Notes: Moore scored the game-winning goal two minutes into overtime.
Filthy Gorgeous 6, Mega Touch 4
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 4 (10), “Gentleman” James Pereira (5), Matt Workman (2)
Mega Touch: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (8), Harvey Jaswal (8), Jonathan Hanson (1)
Goalie Win: Dan “D.O.” Owens
Denim Demons 5, Tompkins Square Riots 1
Denim Demons: Zack Tinkelman 2 (4), Gordie Cohen 2 (3), “Hacksaw” Jim Dandeneau (1)
Tompkins Square Riots: Joe Fiore (6)
Goalie Win: Peter Lang (on loan from Cobra Kai)
What The Puck 4, Butchers 1
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman (10), “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse (5), Corey “Chongo” Winters (2), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (2)
Butchers: Beth Bruder (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo
Rehabs 7, Gut Rot 3
Rehabs: Lateef Nurmohamed 2 (5), Mike “Cupcake” Bartlett (3), Vinny Caruana (2), Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman (2), Bryan “Stork” Welch (2), Kami Moore (1)
Gut Rot: Mark 2 (4), Len (2)
Goalie Win: Anthony Romeo (on loan from What The Puck)
Game Notes: Bartlett dedicated his goal to Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri, in honor of Ventolieri’s 40th birthday.
Fresh Kills 3, Unicorns 1
Fresh Kills: Matt Kazior (4), Nick Hobbs (2), Kevin “The Planet” Foster (1)
Unicorns: Krish (2)
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
Poutine Machine 5, Cobra Kai 1
Poutine Machine: Brodie St. John 2 (4), Dave Kucharsky (3), Chelsea Hicks (1), Andrew Therriault (1)
Cobra Kai: J.J. Murphy (2)
Goalie Win: Tim Brown
Corlears Hookers 6, LBS, Inc. 2
Corlears Hookers: Brendan “Dutch” Kearney 3 (6), Matt Zimmerman (6), Jason Eitel (2), Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (2)
LBS, Inc.: Lawrence Goldstein (6), “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (4)
Goalie Win: Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson
Week 11 Preview
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011Fake Rivalry To Decide Fake Trophy
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (4-3-0-2) at Dark Rainbows (5-3-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-0
Game Notes: This is the final leg of the triangular series among the Happy Little Elves, Unicorns, and Dark Rainbows for the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. Two weeks ago, in the first leg, the Happy Little Elves rallied from a two-goal second half deficit to defeat the Unicorns 4-3 in a shootout. Last week, in the second leg, the Unicorns dominated the Dark Rainbows and came away with a convincing 5-1 victory. As a result, the 2010 champions, the Dark Rainbows, cannot maintain possession of the Fairy Tale Cup. The Happy Little Elves, on the other hand, need just one point to clinch the Cup for the first time in franchise history. However, a Rainbows regulation win would mean that the Unicorns would claim the Cup for the third time since the series started in 2008.
Keys To The Game:
1. Possibly looking ahead to this critical game, Elves goaltender Shaun deLacy played his worst game of the season last week, allowing five goals to the Corlears Hookers. Elves captain Rich Glanzer has made it clear to deLacy that if he struggles early, Glanzer will immediately sub in the team’s backup goalie…himself.
2. The Dark Rainbows enter this matchup on a three-game losing streak. They are looking to reverse this recent trend and would love to play spoiler for the Elves’ Cup hopes. Captain Sean Reynolds notes, “We’ll pay off the refs if we have to.”
3. Should the Elves win, the team will be in possession of the BTSH championship trophy, the Barnacle Bowl, and the Fairy Tale Cup. “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick is furiously working on building a bigger trophy case to display these honors, not realizing that two of them are imaginary.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I am the Elves’ guest captain this week, so picking the Dark Rainbows would be a conflict of interest.
Derek’s Pick: No pick. I have to remain neutral as the ref of this game, and I know my non-pick will upset Hockey Rich.
Watchability: 4 Nakaharas. One way or another, history will be made.
