Posts Tagged ‘Happy Little Elves’
Week 18 News and Notes
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009Hello Czech Republic!
As a thank you to you, the loyal reader, we, the writers, thought we’d give you a snapshot of who’s going to btsh.org, and how they are getting there. Here are some interesting facts and figures we have noticed, taken directly from Google Analytics:
1. While the bulk (96%) of site traffic comes from the United States, one of the highest ranked foreign sources is the Czech Republic with nearly 20 visits in the last month. Undoubtedly, this can be attributed to Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s large following in his fatherland. However, a more interesting trend may be that Uganda ranks directly behind the Czech Republic with approximately 16 visitors. We speculate that this trend can be attributed to Jason Eitel’s large following in his fatherland.
2. Unsurprisingly, more than 90% of the site’s New York state visits are from New York City. The next three highest locations all come from western Suffolk County (Ronkonkoma, Yaphank, and Brentwood) and account for a combined 4%. According to league registration records, a certain Happy Little Elf, who is one of the site’s most frequent commenters, happens to reside and work in this region.
3. The top keywords that have brought people to the BTSH site are as follows: “btsh”, “btsh.org”, and “btsh tuques”. Clearly, the “Tuques hockey.” marketing campaign has worked, as the team is now one of the hottest trends on btsh.org. Already, a “Cobra Kai hockey.” campaign is in the works for next season.
4. The title for most searched individual on btsh.org belongs to the Rehabs’ own Stacy Kehoe, the namesake for the Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness & Grace. The following keywords all made the top 20 searches (in rank order): “stacy kehoe new york,” “stacy kehoe btsh,” “stacy kehoe pics,” and “stacy kehoe.” We can only imagine what type of “stacy kehoe pics” one might be searching for, but if nothing else, we do recommend the photo from the 2008 Week 3 Box Scores. Other high-rated Rehabs searches include “chantel arroyo,” “btsh rehabs,” and “romeo goalie rehabs.”
5. Although league veteran Zack Tinkelman of the Denim Demons ranks nowhere near the top keyword searches, his father, Joe Tinkelman, cracks the top 25. In fact, he ranks as the most popular Demons-related search, almost doubling the next in line, “chernoski.”
Week 13 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 21st, 2009A Closer Look At The Rubens Division
Most people consider the Rubens (often misspelled “Reubens”) Division to be the toughest of BTSH’s three divisions. It boasts the 2008 league champion (Fresh Kills) and runner-up (Corlears Hookers), as well as the only team that has yet to lose in regulation (Denim Demons). Players such as Jason Eitel, Jeff Kamen, Chris “Crush” O’Neil, Meredith “Danberg” Ficarelli, and Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito are just a few of the stars who populate the Rubens Division.
Division Namesake:
Few names can polarize the BTSH community into feelings of vitriol and adoration as much as that of Denim Demons captain Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens. However, whether you love him or hate him (or are just indifferent), you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who can match his dedication and contributions to BTSH.
Week 12 News and Notes
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009Halfway Home
With the season at the halfway point, we in the media have written about many storylines in the past 12 weeks. Here is a closer look at our five favorites:
5. Corlears Hookers Promotional Days
After two seasons of sagging attendance among both fans and his players, Corlears Hookers captain Peter “Purple Rain” Putka knew he had to do something to increase turnout. Therefore, he devised an aggressive promotional schedule for the 2009 season. The giveaways kicked off in week 6 with the extremely popular Jason Eitel pog. In the following weeks, promotional items included a Reilly “Fake Dutch” Olson lunchbox and an Albert “Al” Huang trapper keeper. While the future promotional schedule hasn’t been fully released, the media have received word of a Jock Paul cowboy hat, a Noelle Safar beach towel, and a Peter “Purple Rain” Putka instructionl video on juggling (seen above).
4. Tuques Hockey
When Tuques public relations director Lisa Harrington read that the media compared her team to celery, she knew it was time for some drastic damage control. After several instructional seminars on charisma, Tuques Hockey is more than just a simple marketing slogan…it’s a state of mind. Goaltender Minkus has already created what will be the first of many Tuques Hockey vignettes. In addition, team superstar The Peter Wilson has promised to be more visible for his team and has issued the following statement: “Listen up, BTSH! There’s something I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while now. It’s not ‘Peter Wilson’. It’s ‘The Peter Wilson’. Get it right!”
Week 12 Box Scores
Sunday, June 28th, 2009The Champ Is Here
Happy Little Elves 6, Mathematics 3
Happy Little Elves: Chris “Crush” O’Neil 2 (10), Garrett “Ax” Carrino 2 (2), Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (4), Gil Valdez (1)
Mathematics: Eli Kazin (4), Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (1), Josiah Urban (1)
Corlears Hookers 5, What The Puck 2
Corlears Hookers: Jesse Scolera 2 (2), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (4), Josh Sadlier-Brown (4), Jock Paul (1)
What The Puck: Salvatore Malguarnera, Jr. (9), Brian Vroom (2)
LBS, Inc. 2, Rehabs 1 (OT)
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon (14), Erica Lee (1)
Rehabs: Dan Cottrell (1)
Game Notes: Lee scored the game-winning goal with one minute left in overtime. Cottrell scored the game-tying goal with four minutes remaining in regulation.
Sky Fighters 4, Fresh Kills 3 (OT-SO)
Sky Fighters: Greg Cohan 2 (2), Megan Sigesmund (2)
Fresh Kills: Dave Sokolyansky 3 (8)
Shootout: Sky Fighters win 1-0. Successful attempt by Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.
Game Notes: Fresh Kills rallied to tie the game after trailing 3-0. All six regulation goals were scored in the first half.
Denim Demons 3, Mighty Squirrels 1
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen 3 (10)
Mighty Squirrels: Lauren Reich (1)
Game Notes: Kamen’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with 12 minutes remaining in regulation.
Filthy Gorgeous 5, Gouging Anklebiters 3
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik 2 (3), “Gentleman” James Pereira (11), Sunny Mehra (8), Jon Rick (3)
Gouging Anklebiters: Alex D. 2 (2), Peter “Geech” Prohaska (4)
Tuques 4, Unicorns 1
Tuques: Shafiq Perry (4), The Peter Wilson (3), Jason Mandell (2), Heather Cunningham (1)
Unicorns: Courtney (1)
Game Notes: Wilson’s game-winning goal broke a 1-1 tie with 15 minutes remaining in regulation. The Tuques beat the Unicorns for the first time in 12 meetings.
Mega Touch 3, Mexican Standoff 2
Mega Touch: Tom Chirico 2 (2), Eric Devlin (3)
Mexican Standoff: Jason “The Hamburglar” R. 2 (3)
Dark Rainbows 5, Cobra Kai 2
Dark Rainbows: Sean Reynolds 2 (5), P.T. Walkley (9), Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell (4), Rory Tischler (1)
Cobra Kai: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (6), Becky Pear (1)
Game Notes: Walkley’s game-winning goal broke a 2-2 tie with 10 minutes remaining in regulation.
Week 12 Preview
Thursday, June 25th, 2009Not Pictured: Derek And Rich Shopping At Toys R Us Together
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (4-6) vs. Mathematics (3-4-1-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 1-0
Game Notes: Despite the sub .500 records of both of these teams, few games have had as much buildup and intrigue to them this season. The Happy Little Elves, based primarily on their 2008 performance and choice of team color, have become a favorite target of the Mathematics-run media’s jokes. The Elves have responded in kind by swamping the comments section of posts with non-sensical ramblings and incoherent jibber-jabber directed at the Mathematics. Although the volleys from each side generally remained friendly and lighthearted, the rivalry took a nasty turn two weeks ago, when Mathematics defender Sarah “T-Bone” Torneten defected to the Elves. As a result, Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino has ordered team goon Georgine “Mulva” Paulin to go after Torneten’s weak knees on their first shift together. In an additional storyline, Happy Little Elves walking punch line Rich Glanzer and Tagliarino have pumped up the intensity even further, by wagering their prized championship belts on the outcome of this matchup. Although there is only one point separating these two teams in the standings, more is at stake in this game than a simple win or loss.
Keys To The Game:
1. After serving a two-game suspension, recent Elves addition Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri is now eligible to play his first game with his new team. Though sluggish at times, DiPierri does posses one of the better shots in the league.
2. With six of their nine points coming from games they trailed at the half, the Mathematics have proved to be a very resilient team. However, they will need to play two solid halves to beat the Elves.
3. This is the first ever Game of the Week apperance for the Happy Little Elves, due to their residence at the bottom of the standings. Will they rise to the occassion or crack under the pressure now that they are firmly in the spotlight?
