Posts Tagged ‘$howT!m3’
Season Preview: $h0wT!m3 Division
Sunday, March 27th, 2016Our division preview series continues as we tell you everything you need to know about the $h0wT!m3 Division.
What’s New
- Quite possibly, the division name. Rich already jettisoned Tim Brown’s honorific and replaced it with one for Julie Katz. As of press time, the division still bears the $h0wT!m3 name, but it could soon be retired, much like its namesake has done multiple times already. Rich could even bring back the Rubens Division. Stay tuned for all of the drama!
- Instant Karma. After suffering through a difficult inaugural season in the Glanzer Division, Karma should welcome a schedule that is a lot more forgiving. Of course, three of their seven wins last season came against the Elves, so they’ll have to find other teams to beat up on this year.
- The Gremlins. Oh hey guys, good to have you back! After a one year sabbatical to the Greene Division, the Gremlins return to the division they called home from 2011-2014. However, they were never able to win it during those four seasons, so maybe coming back isn’t all its cracked up to be.
“You’re killing me, Gremlins.”
But Which Team Is $h0wT!m3 Rooting For?
Tuesday, October 14th, 2014
I’d say the answer is clear.
Week 19 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009Hey Kiddies…
For the second season in a row, the media hosted the BTSH East-West All-Star Classic, pitting teams from opposite sides of the East River against each other. The East, looking to avenge its loss in 2008, jumped to an early 1-0 lead, as the extremely dangerous $howT!m3-Mungo duo struck the first blow of the contest. The teams then exchanged goals, as the game see-sawed for the remainder of the first half, which ended in a 2-2 tie. However, the West dominated the second, with Sunny Mehra (Filthy Gorgeous) and Jefferson (Mexican Standoff) scoring quickly to provide a two-goal cushion. Bill MacGregor (Mega Touch) continued the onslaught with a goal of his own and celebrated by leaping onto the dugout fence behind the goal, where he was warmly received by his Mega Touch teammates. Derek Tagliarino (Mathematics) added another goal for the West just a few minutes later and attempted to duplicate MacGregor’s celebration. Unfortunatley, the entire Mega Touch section remained seated, prompting East co-coach Stacy Kehoe (Rehabs) to declare the spectacle “the saddest celebration in BTSH”. The West ultimately won 8-2.
Once again, the contributions of the coaches buoyed the enjoyment of the afternoon. West co-coach Steve Chernoski (Denim Demons) donned an electric lime track suit, headband, and sunglasses in an homage to New Jersey culture. The other West co-coach, Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Mathematics) came dressed as a “douchebag real estate agent” (her words) to represent her home borough of Manhattan. In addition, Paulin provided a sack of chocolate gold for her team as an incentive to win. East co-coach Rich Glanzer did nothing to help his team win. In fact, he even tried playing a shift in the second half, resulting in yet another goal for the West (and a -1 for Glanzer).
At the conclusion of the game, several players participated in an impromptu shootout (although this had NO bearing on the game’s result). Some of the highlights included Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker’s pre-attempt flip and perfect landing, a salute to “Thriller” before Ariel Imas’ shot, and Susannah’s goal off of a multi-teammate screen. However, upon further review, Susannah’s goal has been disallowed due to the fact that teammate Rob “Mungo” Gorden was in the crease.
Week 3 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009Meredith Made A Bad Trade
Photo courtesy of Meredith “Danberg” Ficareilli
Happy Birthday $howT!m3!
Despite a flurry of activity this past weekend, the most monumental event was easily league side show Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez’s 26th birthday. Although many festivities were brainstormed for the occasion, only a handful came to fruition. $howT!m3 planned on making a grand entrance via car (or cat, we’re not sure) on to the Tompkins courts, but was unable to procure said means of conveyance (even the cat!). Thus, he was reduced to walking through the gates like a commoner. Even with this setback, the Rehabs’ victory was the sweetest present of all.
To continue celebrating his birthday and the Rehabs’ win, $howT!m3 planned on holding a 20 person Irish Car Bomb drinking session. Although he was only able to convince four other people to join him in this endeavor, it didn’t make his birthday any less special. Love for $howT!m3 was definitely in the air.
October 19th Consolation Games
Friday, October 17th, 2008The Rehabs Still Have Their Game Face On
Bad Touch (2-17-1) vs. Mexican Standoff (4-13-2-1)
Location: Corlears North, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 5-5-1
Game Notes: With both teams picking up wins in the last few weeks, they are both trying to finish the season on a high note.
Denim Demons (12-4-2-1) vs. What The Puck (14-4-0-1)
Location: Corlears South, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: What The Puck leads 9-2
Game Notes: If a couple of plays had gone the other way last week, this could very well have been an outstanding semi-final matchup.
Mathematics (6-13) vs. Gouging Anklebiters (4-15)
Location: Moffo, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 3-1
Game Notes: Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri of the Gouging Anklebiters claims the Mathematics’ victory against his team in the regular season is “tainted”…because the Mathematics did not have Andy Pratt that day.
Happy Little Elves (2-15-1-1) vs. Tuques (9-10)
Location: Corlears North, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 1-0
Game Notes: According to Tuques goalie, Minkus, “No Elves are scoring on me.”
Rehabs (10-6-1-1) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-9-3)
Location: Moffo, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-1-1
Game Notes: The Squirrels are looking to snap a nine game losing streak.
Dark Rainbows (12-6-1) vs. Unicorns (11-6-0-2)
Location: Corlears North, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 4-3
Game Notes: The outcome of this game does not affect the Unicorns’ possesion of the (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
Cobra Kai (6-11-1-1) vs. Sky Fighters (11-7)
Location: Moffo, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Cobra Kai leads 2-1
Game Notes: We assume that the Sky Fighters will actually show up for this one. Their captains would expect nothing less.
