Posts Tagged ‘$howT!m3’
Week 15 News and Notes
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008Say No More (Mon Amour)
It’s Rex Manning Day!!!
A buzz was in the air last weekend. Although, on the face of it, Sunday seemed like it would just be a normal day of BTSH hockey, league commissioner Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg had other ideas. Through his extensive connections in the music industry, Weyersberg arranged for famed recording artist Rex Manning to appear at Welcome to the Johnson’s. He dubbed it “Rex Manning Day”. Despite the long lines this created at BTSH’s favorite hockey bar, everyones excitement level was sky-high for a chance to meet the British pop star. One BTSHer, Filthy Gorgeous’s Monica Russo, even fainted upon meeting the icon, when Manning gave her a light peck on the cheek. What The Puck’s Corey “Chongo” Winters described the spectacle, “This was truly the happiest day in my life. I have all of his albums, so to finally meet Rex Manning in person is a dream come true, eh?” The best news of the day came at the end of the evening, when bartender Brent Smith announced that the event had raised enough money to prevent the Johnson’s from turning into a Music Town.
Week 12 Preview
Thursday, July 17th, 2008This Rivarly Is Brought To You By The Letter S
GAME OF THE WEEK
Rehabs (6-3-1-1) vs. Denim Demons (6-0-2-1)
Location: Corlears South, 5:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 6-4-1
Game Notes: This game represents one of the most storied and bitter rivalries across all of BTSH, as both teams are very open about their dislike for one another. The combative history begins with their original meeting in 1932, when Rehabs captain Sean “Nine Toes” O’Malley scored the game winning goal in octuple overtime in a game featuring more than 100 minutes of penalties. The next series milestone occurred in 1966 when Demons prankster Lisa “Moonbeam” Williams laced the Rehabs pre-game meal with LSD. Tensions boiled over again in 2003, when the Demons changed their color scheme to the Rehabs’ signature Red and Black, from their previous teal and fuchsia. Finally, just last season, when Rehabs schemer Jon Feldman discovered that the Demons were pre-emptively planning a celebratory dinner, he snuck into the team clubhouse (Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens’s apartment) and smashed all of their fine China. This earned him the nickname, “Dinner Plate”. Fireworks are expected this Sunday when the rivalry continues.
Keys To The Game:
1. Rehabs defender Stacy Kehoe’s high school class will be taking a field trip to watch this game on Sunday. She has promised them no homework on Monday if the Rehabs are victorious, so the fan support will be boisterous.
2. Upon further review, it’s summer, so ignore the previous note.
3. But then again, she might teach summer school…see note one.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. “Con” Ed Lau turns off the power at the Demons’ hotel, causing most of them to oversleep.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. Micael Holmstrom never sleeps.
Guest Columnist: Rob “Mungo” Gorden
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008The following views do not necessarily represent those of the editors or of BTSH.
$howT!m3 Almost Switches Teams Mid-Game
Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez was seen considering switching teams midway through the Rehabs’ loss to Filthy Gorgeous last Sunday.
In a press conference immediately following the game $howT!m3 adamantly denied the accusations.
“That is utter nonsense. I’m a Rehab and will stay a Rehab for life. Yes, I tried on a Filthy Gorgeous jersey during the first half, but that was only to see if it fit.”
Teammate “Con” Ed Lau was not surprised. “It’s his thing,” Lau stated. “The guy entered the league when? When it began, right? He’s played for every team since then, and some teams that don’t even exist. At some point last week I’m pretty sure he ran over to Corlears and played five minutes for the Happy Little Elves during our game.”
Rehabs captain Bryan “Stork” Welch was incensed over the accusations. He was seen glaring at reporters muttering, “You never leave the Rehabs. You’re a Rehab forever.”
After Bryan’s comment, $howT!m3 tried on a Denim Demons shirt.
Week 2 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008Trenton Makes, Rachel Takes
New Jersey’s Exports: Precious Metals, Industrial Machinery, and Tommy Mayoros
After struggling with the goaltending tandem of Rob Gorden and Tim “(S)crappy” Gray last season, the Mighty Squirrels seem to be a different team this year. With new goalie Tommy Mayoros in the net, they’ve been walking with a new found swagger…some might even say an air of confidence. They are now 1-0-1 after facing two tough teams. Captain Rachel Greene was sure to note, “People often ask us where we got our awesome goalie from, and the answer is simple. We got him from New Jersey.” New Jersey was offered Scrappy in exchange, but it politely declined.
