Posts Tagged ‘Mathematics’
Week 13 Preview
Thursday, July 29th, 2010At Least One Person Likes The Mathematics
GAME OF THE WEEK
Gut Rot (4-6-0-1) at Mathematics (4-5-0-2)
Location: Tompkins East, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Two teams within striking distance of the MacNeil Division crown face off for the only time this season. Prior to last week’s tough loss against the Denim Demons, Gut Rot had won three games in a row. Included in this stretch were an overtime triumph against the defending champion Sky Fighters and a gratifying shootout victory over the Butchers (and many of their former teammates). The team is now third in the division, four points behind the first place Tompkins Square Riots. The Mathematics sit in second place, just three points behind the Riots. They have won their last three games, including last Sunday’s 4-2 victory over the Unicorns, their most notable of the season. They have also tallied 13 goals during this streak, which is more than half of their season total. With Gut Rot and the Mathematics finally out of the cellar of the MacNeil Division, neither will want to relinquish its momentum.
Keys To The Game:
1. Although much of the media’s attention has been on Fresh Kills rookie goaltender Patrick Barch, Gut Rot’s rookie between the pipes, Bill, has also had a very solid season. He has been a consistent backbone as the defense continues to build its chemistry following the offseason departures.
2. Mathematics defender Andy Pratt finally had his “Andy Pratt Game” last weekend, scoring three times against the Unicorns. His presence on the point also generates numerous scoring chances for his teammates.
3. Vicky of Gut Rot and the Mathematics’ Ali Corsi have been friends since attending the same high school. Much like Diana Hart, who was forced to watch her husband the British Bulldog and brother Bret “The Hitman” Hart wrestle each other during Summerslam ’92, Vicky’s sister Susannah Pasquantonio is torn between her allegiance to her sister and her good friend.
Watchability: 3.5 Gilligans. Mathematics spirit captain Laura is super excited and “can’t wait” for this game.
Week 12 News and Notes
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010Anklebiters Caught!
Disciplinary Committee Chair Haanwa Chau has finally completed her thorough investigation into alleged hazing violations against the Gouging Anklebiters. She has put forth the following report:
The following charges are brought:
First, that the Gouging Anklebiters did knowingly violate the rules governing free agent recruitment by serving alcohol to new players during scrimmage weeks and after established drinking hours.
Second, that for the fifth consecutive season, the Anklebieters have achieved a deficient knowledge of league rules and guidelines.
Third, that the Anklebiters routinely provided dangerous performance-enhancing drugs to its players during the playoff weeks.
And most recently, that a Roman toga party was held, from which I have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
These are the charges as recorded this day July 27, 2010. Faithfully submitted, Haanwa Chau, Disciplinary Chair.
After consulting with former Disciplinary Chair, Jeremy “The Foot” Schumacher, Chau has placed the Anklebiters on “double secret probation”.
Week 8 News and Notes
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010With These Two In Charge, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Due to consistent underappreciation and limited access to the league power structure, the goalies of BTSH are in the initial stages of forming a union. As labor conditions continue to deteriorate and goalies have become just an afterthough in league policymaking, this union will finally give the netminders a united front to protect their interests. Cobra Kai’s Peter Lang, who is the founder of the movement, notes, “Goalies get no respect in this league. We’re the ones wearing pounds of equipment in the 90 degree heat, and no one cares.” The Mathematics’ Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez, who is Lang’s second in command, adds, “This collaboration is necessary as our plight continues to be exacerbated under the tyrannical rule of the BTSH despots.”
Week 2 Preview
Thursday, April 15th, 2010Maybe This Is Why Anita Left
GAME OF THE WEEK
HOCKEY NIGHT IN TOMPKINS (National Telecast)
Mathematics (0-0-0-1) at Rehabs (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 5:30 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 3-0-1
Game Notes: Due to a flurry of offseason player movement between the Mathematics and Rehabs, this once friendly rivalry has become a lot more intense. The Mathematics struck the first blow with the additions of league sideshow Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez and Sean “$howJu” McClain. While both served as key components of the Rehabs’ offensive attack last season, the Mathematics targeted Melendez for his goaltending skills and their own amusement. In retaliation for these acquisitions, the Rehabs added former Mathematic Anita Khar to their roster. Although Khar’s ice hockey background makes her one of the top female players in the league, the Rehabs may have added her to fill the tomfoolery void left by $howT!m3 and $howJu’s departures.
Keys To The Game:
1. Despite losing their opener to Poutine Machine in a shootout, the Mathematics controlled the majority of play throughout the game. They will need to maintain this control to beat the explosive Rehabs.
2. While the Rehabs were victorious in overtime against the Happy Little Elves last week, they blew leads of 2-0 and 3-2. This may play to the Mathematics’ strength, as the team overcame several halftime deficits last season, in addition to one last week.
3. This game marks the culmination of a week-long birthday celebration for Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez. Other events include a flip-cup tournament, a piñata, and an ice cream social.
Watchability: 4.5 $howJus. The personalities on both sides of the ball should make this a very exciting game.
Season Preview: Mathematics
Monday, March 29th, 2010“And Now You Have None…And That’s Math!”
Color: Gray
Year Founded: 2006
2009 Regular Season Finish: 3-13-1-3 (17th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to Denim Demons in first round
Conference: Schumacher
Division: MacNeil
Home Arena: The Abacus
2009 Leading Scorers: Andy Pratt & Bradley Schmidt, 11 goals
Key Additions: Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (Rehabs), Sean “$howJu” McClain (Rehabs), Scott Lee (Free Agency), Kate Fillin-Yeh (Free Agency)
Key Losses: Georgine “Mulva” Paulin (Butchers), Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins (Butchers), Anita Khar (Rehabs)
