Posts Tagged ‘Mighty Squirrels’
Season Preview: Mighty Squirrels
Friday, March 20th, 2009Sven’s Expecting A Flood
Color: Brown
Year Founded: 2005
2008 Regular Season Finish: 7-7-3 (11th place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to Dark Rainbows in first round
Division: Schloeder
2009 Marketing Slogan: “How do you like deez nuts?”
Key Additions: Emily Allen, Ian Driscoll, Lauren Greene (All Free Agents)
Key Losses: Z.Y. Kesselman, Tommy Mayoros
Week 16 News and Notes
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008Whose Name Will Go Alongside Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette’s?
Does The Nickname Get Engraved Too?
With one week remaining in the season, the race for the coveted BTSH scoring title is heating up. Here is a breakdown of the top contenders:
5. Corey “Chongo” Winters, What The Puck (15 goals): Chongo remains a long shot to win this competition as he has a lot of ground to make up, and no individual player has scored more than five goals in a game this season. Although What The Puck’s potent offense is certainly capable of providing him with ample opportunity, the goals usually spread out among all of the team’s talented attackers.
4. Jason Eitel, Corlears Hookers (15 goals): Eitel has missed the Hookers’ last two games with an injury, and his status for the upcoming weekend is still unknown. However, should he be able to play, he will have the benefit of playing a makeup game, in addition to his regularly scheduled one.
3. Karsten Pichon, LBS, Inc. (17 goals): Pichon has the ability to put in three or more goals in any given game, as he has already had a five goal game earlier this season (against the Happy Little Elves). However, he will be closely marked by a staunch Denim Demons defense (try saying that three times fast), in a game that has playoff seeding implications at stake for both teams.
2. Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth, What The Puck (18 goals): Obviously similar to teammate Corey “Chongo” Winters, Woodsworth will benefit from What The Puck’s high-scoring offense. However, he will also be hamstrung by the broad distribution of goal scorers in captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s arsenal. Nevertheless, Woodsworth always brings a little something extra to the table…some might even say an “X-Factor”.
1. Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta, Cobra Kai (20 goals): Bratta currently has a two goal lead on his nearest competitor, and with two games left to play, he is clearly the odds-on-favorite to collect this honor. Of greater suspense might be his battle with the Happy Little Elves for total goals in a season, which he currently leads by two.
Week 15 Box Scores
Monday, September 15th, 2008Even The Alpha Male Thinks This Is The Whitest Rivalry in BTSH
Unicorns 2, Mighty Squirrels 0
Unicorns: Jesse (4), Ryan (4)
Shutout: Craig “Ug” LaCombe (2)
Game Notes: LaCombe assisted on both goals.
Tuques 3, Denim Demons 2
Tuques: Peter Wilson (11), Alfred Liu (3), Zoe Markwick (2)
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen (9), Steve Chernoski (1)
Game Notes: The Tuques rallied from a two-goal halftime deficit, as Wilson and Liu scored the tying and winning goals one minute apart midway through the second half.
Sky Fighters 4, Dark Rainbows 1
Sky Fighters: Robert Kucera 3 (6), Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker (3)
Dark Rainbows: Lindsey Foehrenbach (3)
Game Notes: Kucera broke a 1-1 tie with twelve minutes remaining in regulation.
Rehabs 7, Tuques 0
Rehabs: Sal Malguarnera 2 (7), Tom O’Connor 2 (4), Hector “$howT!m3” Melendez (7), Lateef Nurmohamed (4), Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (2)
Shutout: Anthony Romeo (3)
Corlears Hookers 3, Mathematics 2 (OT)
Corlears Hookers: Josh Sadlier-Brown 2 (6), David Kucharsky (1)
Mathematics: Derek Tagliarino (6), Bradley Schmidt (5)
Game Notes: Sadlier-Brown scored the game-winning goal with two minutes remaining in overtime. Tagliarino scored the tying goal with three minutes remaining in regulation to force overtime.
What The Puck 3, Happy Little Elves 2
What The Puck: Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth 2 (17), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (13)
Happy Little Elves: Rob Muggeo (2), Garrett Carrino (1)
Filthy Gorgeous 3, Bad Touch 2 (OT)
Filthy Gorgeous: Jonathan Rick (7), Matthew Workman (7), Ali Berkin (1)
Bad Touch: Danny Canarick (1), Toby Carroll (1)
Game Notes: Carroll scored the game-tying goal midway through the second half to force overtime, where Berkin scored the game-winning goal.
Cobra Kai 3, Mexican Standoff 0
Cobra Kai: Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta 2 (15), Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison (1)
Shutout: Paul “P.J.” Lopez (2)
LBS, Inc. 6, Fresh Kills 3
LBS, Inc.: Tom Capatosta 2 (7), Karsten Pichon (17), Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin (10), Jason Bogdaneris (4), Phil Yang (4)
Fresh Kills: Eugene Rha (5), Joe Tamburo (5), Caroline Currie (4)
Game Notes: All nine goals were scored in the second half.
Denim Demons 4, Gouging Anklebiters 0
Denim Demons: Jeff Kamen (10), Mike Pereira (10), Pete Matlin (4), Brad Weiger (3)
Shutout: Zack Tinkelman (2)
Week 15 Preview
Thursday, September 11th, 2008Now (S)crappy Free! (Except That)
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (8-6) vs. Mighty Squirrels (7-3-3)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 4-1
Game Notes: Although both of these teams now hover in the upper half of the standings, this game has implications far beyond simple wins and losses in BTSH. In addition to the pressure of ending a three game losing streak, Mighty Squirrels captain Rachel “A-Korn” Greene must face one of her fiercest and most devious rivals in this game: Unicorns goalie, Craig “Ug” LaCombe. A known cheater, LaCombe has already been caught several times this season for various league infractions. In May, referee Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens measured his pads and determined that they were several inches above the league standard. In June, referee Bryan “Stork” Welch found a bucket of white paint on LaCombe’s person, as he was trying to expand the crease. Interestingly, due to excessive lobbying by Unicorns captain Christian, LaCombe is yet to face any consequences for these actions. Greene, however, is also known to be quite crafty as she once “inadvertently” gave LaCombe the wrong start time for one of his games. Odds are, she’ll do that again this week. Of course, the anticipation for this heated rivalry may be moot in the end, as Greene may head to the Meadowlands for the Jets’ home opener anyway.
Keys To The Game:
1. Chris, Nelson, and Mark have combined for 31 of the Unicorns’ 47 goals this season. Stopping this triumvirate of scorers will be imperative for the Squirrels.
2. Lost among the Greene-LaCombe hype is the revenge factor that will also motivate former Unicorn Jesse Kalb.
3. Good news for the Squirrels! According to New York fashion week, Earth tones are back in this season. So, they have that going for them…
Eli’s Pick: Mighty Squirrels. Rachel does it for Brett Favre.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns. Ug will be amped for this game and will help procure another rivalry trophy to go alongside the Unicorns’ (imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup.
Week 11 Box Scores
Monday, July 14th, 2008Sven 1, Monica 0…Our Bad
Mighty Squirrels 4, Filthy Gorgeous 1
Mighty Squirrels: Eric Breitman 2 (5), Jesse Kalb (3), Eric Cole (1)
Filthy Gorgeous: Suvin “The Guru” Malik (5)
Corlears Hookers 4, Rehabs 3 (OT)
Corlears Hookers: Jason Eitel 2 (10), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (5), Elizabeth Lewis (5)
Rehabs: “Con” Ed Lau 2 (5), Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman (3)
Game Notes: The Corlears Hookers forced overtime after rallying from a 3-0 deficit. Jason Eitel scored the game-winning goal.
Dark Rainbows 5, Denim Demons 5 (OT-SO)
Dark Rainbows: P.T. Walkley 3 (10), Josh Wilson (3), Jennie Brown (3)
Denim Demons: Mike Pereira 2 (7), Jeff Kamen 2 (6), Zack Tinkelman (3)
Shootout: Tied 0-0.
LBS, Inc. 4, Rehabs 3
LBS, Inc.: Karsten Pichon (12), Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin (7), Tom Capatosta (5), Jason Bogdaneris (3)
Rehabs: “Con” Ed Lau (6), Kami Moore (2), Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli (1)
Game Notes: Ken “The Alpha Male” Poulin broke a 3-3 tie with a game-winning goal late in the second half.
Fresh Kills 3, Tuques 0
Fresh Kills: Patrick Moore 2 (5), Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg (1)
Shutout: Dave Gil de Rubio (1)
What The Puck 6, Gouging Anklebiters 2
What The Puck: Darrell “Accurate Bob” Hartman 3 (6), Corey “Chongo” Winters (11), Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth (10), Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer (8)
Gouging Anklebiters: Charles DeFranco (4), Shannon Voto (2)
Corlears Hookers 3, Cobra Kai 1
Corlears Hookers: Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (7), Jason Eitel (11)
Cobra Kai: Ray “Domino” Chan (4)
Sky Fighters 5, Mathematics 3
Sky Fighters: Dan Hopper (4), Ted Shumaker (2), Samantha Lee (1), Patrick Borelli (1), James Townsend-Butterworth (1)
Mathematics: Andy Pratt 2 (8), Derek Tagliarino (5)
Unicorns 9, Mexican Standoff 2
Unicorns: Chris 4 (8), Nelson 3 (9), Mark (6), Ryan (3)
Mexican Standoff: Ellery “The Nature Boy” Gillette (3), Amanda Jenkins (1)
Game Notes: Although Ellery is credited with the goal, Craig “Ug” LaCombe believes that Ellery should only receive an assist, with the goal going to “the crack in the Corlears blacktop”.
Bad Touch 5, Happy Little Elves 1
Bad Touch: Eric Devlin 3 (9), Alex “Coop” Eben Meyer (4), Bill MacGregor (1)
Happy Little Elves: Demetri Adrahtas (4)
