Posts Tagged ‘news and notes’
Week 6 News and Notes
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011Do You Smell What Tommy Is Cooking?
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Myrto Mylopoulos, Tompkins Square Riots. Myrto scored the only shootout goal in the Riots’ win against the Unicorns, and we’re looking for any excuse to get this video on the site one more time.
Second Star: Joe Polowczuk, Unicorns/Rehabs. As a borrowed player, who was inexplicably allowed to play by the Elves power structure, Joe recorded a hat trick to lead the Rehabs to their first victory of the season. In addition to giving his Fairy Tale Cup rivals a taste of things to come, Polowczuk also scored the game-tying goal in his own game for the Unicorns.
First Star: Tommy Capatosta, LBS, Inc. The Corporation’s Security Manager had all five of the team’s goals in LBS, Inc.’s 5-4 overtime win against the Sky Fighters. He has dubbed the accomplishment the “Capatostrick.”
Week 5 News and Notes
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011Is Jesse Kalb The Next Elves Captain?
In order to right the ship after losses to What The Puck and Mega Touch, the Happy Little Elves made the drastic decision to appoint a guest captain for their Rubens Division matchup against the Denim Demons. After a grueling application process, regular captains “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick and Rich Glanzer based their choice on the outcome of a “skeetball” game. Thus, when Mathematics captain Derek Tagliarino ousted Chadwick, he was given the reins to the team.
Employing the guest captain’s brilliant new strategy dubbed the TEDI (Tagliarino’s Elves Defensive Initiative), the Elves held the Demons scoreless through all of regulation and overtime. Unfortunately, the TEDI does not include any methods for scoring goals, so the Elves were also held off the score sheet. However, the Elves were ultimately victorious, when Tagliarino made the bold decision to put under-utilized and often overlooked flaxen-haired defender Trevor Beauclair in the shootout. The always modest Beauclair converted the final shootout attempt of the day, clinching the win for the Elves and Tagliarino.
After the success of Sunday’s guest captain (who retires undefeated from the position), Chadwick and Glanzer have already announced that they will continue to invite others to lead the team. Some of the rumored candidates include Jonathan “The Barnacle” Levine, Mike Smith, Anita Khar, Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi, Julie Katz, Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer, Jesse Kalb, Karsten Pichon, and $h0wT!m3.
Week 4 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 19th, 2011Joe Is Very Proud Of His Calves
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Joe Lops’ Calves, Mega Touch. Mega Touch had the upset of the day with their stunning 3-2 overtime win against the defending champion Happy Little Elves. Captain Julie Katz gives full credit to Lops’ calves, noting, “The team draws energy from them. We look to them for inspiration.” Lops had a hand in all three of his team’s scores with one goal and two assists.
Second Star: Alex Derhohannesian, Gouging Anklebiters. The Biters finally got off the schneid, defeating La Famiglia 4-3 in an overtime thriller. Derho tallied two goals in the contest, including the game-winner in OT to propel his team to its first victory this season.
First Star: Craig “Ug” LaCombe, Unicorns. Ug is starting to make this look too easy. LaCombe recorded his league-leading third shutout of the season on Sunday in the Unicorns’ 3-0 win against the Mathematics. He has now surrendered just one goal in the team’s first four games.
Week 3 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011Surprise! Tim’s The First Star Of The Week
Three Stars of the Week
Third Star: Rachel “A-Korn” Greene, Butchers. In just her first year of organizing the event, Greene ran the highly successful 2011 Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament. We’re hoping she continues her efforts next season.
Second Star: Dan Hopper, Sky Fighters. The Sky Fighters’ Yinzer captain nearly recorded his first ever hat trick en route to his team’s 4-1 win against Gut Rot. Hopper finished with two goals in the game after already tallying one earlier in the day during his Mofo game. He celebrated the feat with an I.C. Light.
First Star: Tim Brown, Poutine Machine. In what may be the upset of the season to date, Brown shut out last year’s regular season champions, the Denim Demons. This came just a day after he was the winning goalie in the finals of the Rose Charities Street Hockey Tournament (despite the notable handicap of having Rich Glanzer on his defense).
Week 2 News and Notes
Tuesday, April 5th, 2011Will There Be A Lockout?
As the BTSH collective bargaining agreement between team owners and players nears its expiration date, pundits have begun to talk seriously about a potential work stoppage.
Before signing a new agreement, team owners are pushing for four major changes. First, they want to extend the BTSH regular season by an additional two games. In exchange, pre-season scrimmages would be eliminated. Second, they would like a rookie wage scale. This would basically be known as the “Nick Hobbs Provision,” as Fresh Kills was forced to sign Hobbs to one of BTSH’s most lucrative contracts before he even played a game. As a result, his compensation has crippled their salary cap maneuverability for several seasons. Third, the owners demand a greater share of all league revenue. Tensions on this matter intensified when league manager Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta arrived at Tompkins Square Park in Week 1 driving his new Maserati. Fourth, owners would like to repeal players’ bonuses for breaches of contracts. This issue came up recently after noted Mathematics defender Justin “Ballard” Perras missed his team’s game last week, which violated the terms of his contract.
