Posts Tagged ‘playoff preview’
Playoff Preview: Opening Round (Part II)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2011Vice-Presidents Cup, Bitches.
#20 Gut Rot (3-14) at #13 Mathematics (7-6-2-2)
Written by playoff correspondent Abby “Tayne” Meisterman
Location: Tompkins East, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 2-1
2011 Result: Week 10 – Mathematics 4, Gut Rot 2; Week 19 – Gut Rot 1, Mathematics 0 (OT-SO)
Game Notes: When questioned about the upcoming playoffs, Gut Rot captain Peaches responded, “I was told there’d be no Math.” Peaches’ teammate Heather was similarly dismayed by the match-up as she’s aware Mike Smith shows no mercy on and off the court. The media attempted to locate Ellery for comment, but as the Redskins’ season has started, he’s been in hiding. This does not bode well for the team whose name makes one think of necrotic bowels. Justin Perras of Mathematics boasted his confidence in his team’s abilities, despite losing to Gut Rot in a shootout last week. He attributes his new-found team pride to his new baby girl for whom he’s promised to win it all. However, Andy Pratt knows this is folly as he tried to do that before and failed. Derek and Eli have been squirreled away in their deluxe apartments in the sky watching old videos of Gut Rot goalie Bill, while blocks away he has just been watching videos. Despite all of this intel, what people really want to know is “Who is this Tom, and how did he score four goals against the Elves but only one in the shootout?”
Abby’s Pick: Add two. Carry the one. Mathematics.
Watchability: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209…
This Matchup Catches Sarab Totally By Surprise
#18 Gouging Anklebiters (5-12) at #15 Cobra Kai (6-7-1-3)
Written by playoff correspondent Rich Glanzer
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Gouging Anklebiters lead 7-2
2011 Result: Week 10 – Gouging Anklebiters 3, Cobra Kai 1
Game Notes: Cobra Kai should not be in this game. With the roster they had before the season started, and the division they are in, they should have been battling for the #3 seed. The Anklebiters have played pretty solid for the last few weeeks, and they seem to have something the Dojo doesn’t, which is team chemistry. Cobra Kai is also riddled with injuries as the league’s most underrated player, Will Kuhns, and Rem both might not play. Meanwhile, few have been hotter than the Anklebiters’ Alex Derho.
Rich’s Pick: BTSH is littered with stories of heart beating talent, so I’m going to go with an upset here, and say the Anklebiters pull it out and win 5-4 in OT. Expect Peter Putka to be scouting from a building above because they will be the Hookers’ round of 16 opponent.
Playoff Preview: Opening Round (Part I)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2011Shaun And The Elves Hope To Smoke The Riots
#19 Tompkins Square Riots (4-12-0-1) at #14 Happy Little Elves (7-7-1-2)
Written by playoff correspondent Sven Larsen
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Happy Little Elves lead 1-0
2011 Result: Week 2 – Happy Little Elves 8, Tompkins Square Riots 4
Game Notes: “Who Dat?” It’s not just the rallying cry of New Orleans Saints fans. It’s the question anyone who watched the final game of the Riots’ season was asking. With ten exceptions on the “Played 5 games or less” list, the Riots are a massively unknown entity going in to the playoffs. Meanwhile, some are blaming the Elves’ decline from BTSH champs to the #14 spot on team captain Rich Glanzer. They feel the G-Man spent too much of his summer pursuing the Fairy Tale Cup, the BTSH Fantasy Hockey Championship, the respect of co-captain Ben Chadwick and other things that don’t matter in the real world. But experienced BTSHers know that Glanzer has a history of pulling things together when the stakes are high, and this game should be no exception. Ultimately, winning the BTSH crown is like cooking crystal meth…it all comes down to chemistry (and a certain amount of moral flexibility). The Elves have both those factors in spades. The hastily assembled, new-look Riots, not so much.
Sven’s Pick: Sorry, Rioters. Gotta give the nod to the defending champs on this one.
Watchability: Two and a half sprinkles of pixie dust
MDF Is No Longer Impressed By Jorts
#17 Rehabs (3-8-3-3) at #16 Mega Touch (5-10-1-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Rehabs lead 8-4
2011 Result: Did Not Play
Game Notes: After losing most of their top players from their 2010 Hackett Division title team, the Rehabs fulfilled the predictions of many by finishing last in the Rubens Division. With half the roster composed of rookies and veterans returning from long sabbaticals, the team stumbled out of the gate and began the season 0-5. Since then, they have shown improvement, going 3-3-3-3 for the balance of the regular season. The lone bright spot has been the stellar play of new goaltender Hilary Meyer, who successfully filled the large shoes–but not the large ego–of former goalie Anthony Romeo. She finished the regular season with a 1.56 GAA, good for third in the league. Mega Touch made a big splash in the offseason by welcoming league commissioner Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta to the squad, but actually finished with a worse record than in 2010. Of course, that’s not to say that Muscles didn’t have his way with the MacNeil Division, as he finished with 18 goals on the season and led his team to a 4-3 divisional record. The Rehabs and Mega Touch did not face each other in 2011, but they did meet in Week 6 of 2010, when the Rehabs defeated Mega Touch 1-0 on the strength of a goal by “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse and a shutout by Romeo. Neither player is currently on the Rehabs.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. Mega Touch went 1-10-1-1 against teams not named Gut Rot or the Gouging Anklebiters.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs. Like many teams in BTSH, their struggles are directly related to poor attendance throughout the regular season. A full roster gives them the edge in this one.
Watchability: 3.5 Oppedisanos. Brooklyn bragging rights are at stake!
Playoff Preview: Championship Game
Thursday, October 28th, 2010Hockey Rich Found His Way Into This Photo Too
#8 Happy Little Elves (11-5-0-3) at #5 Corlears Hookers (14-4)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-1
2010 Result: Week 2 – Happy Little Elves 7, Corlears Hookers 4
Game Notes: The Corlears Hookers are no strangers to the BTSH championship game. This will mark their third trip to the final, following appearances in 2007 and 2008. However, despite their playoff success throughout the years, the Hookers have yet to hoist the championship trophy. Nevertheless, the team remains optimistic that it can finally win the big game after its convincing victory against the Butchers in the semifinals. The Hookers jumped to an early 3-0 lead in that game, effectively ending any realistic hopes of a Butchers’ upset. After the third goal, the team transitioned to a much more conservative game plan and coasted to a 3-1 victory. Awaiting the Corlears Hookers in the championship game are the polarizing Happy Little Elves. Regardless of your opinion of them, no one can deny the Elves’ flair for the dramatic throughout the 2010 playoffs. In their round of 16 game, a seemingly easy victory turned into a 7-4 nail-biter against the Tuques La Famiglia. In the quarterfinals, the Elves tied Fresh Kills in the final minute of regulation and prevailed in overtime. Last week, in the semifinals, the Elves and Sky Fighters battled in the most entertaining game of this postseason, with the Elves advancing to the final via a shootout. With the Elves making their first appearance in the championship game, do the cardiac “kids” have one more win left in them, or will the Corlears Hookers finally break through?
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. The Hookers’ offense has revolved around Jason Eitel this postseason, and he now leads all playoff scorers with five goals. He has scored in all three of his team’s playoff wins and will once again be a focal point in the championship game. Although he missed the 2008 final to attend the wedding of teammate Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson, he has guaranteed that he will attend Sunday’s game, despite an earlier promise to take Dutch’s niece out trick-or-treating (there’s one for you, Dustin!).
2. Late season addition Tiffany Hagge has been a beast for the Hookers this postseason. She has logged four playoff goals, including the overtime game-winner against Filthy Gorgeous in the quarterfinals.
3. Albert “Al” Huang is yet to start a game this season, even when the Hookers have been shorthanded. However, he has been frequently brought into the game as the lone member of the team’s checking line. His presence on the court has been known to intimidate opponents and has already caused several sleepless nights for Melanie Pessin of the Happy Little Elves, who admits she is afraid of him. In fact, only co-captain Rich Glanzer scares her more than Huang does.
Keys To The Game For The Happy Little Elves:
1. Although Gil Valdes leads the Elves with three playoff goals, his most heroic moment came in the shootout of last week’s semifinal against the Sky Fighters. He was the only player for either team to convert his attempt, which helped seal the victory.
2. The Elves Team Defense Initiative has been extremely successful in the team’s last two playoff games, allowing only three goals in nearly 115 minutes of play. However, this game plan would not be as effective without the stellar play of Shaun deLacy between the pipes. He put forth his best performance of the season in last week’s semifinal, turning aside numerous quality scoring chances in regulation and overtime, as well as stopping all three Sky Fighter shootout attempts.
3. Pending an Elves victory, an extravagant parade through Long Island has already been planned. Festivities will hit all of the island’s most noted hot spots including the Big Duck, Billy Joel’s birthplace, the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, the Front Street strip mall in Hempstead, the Suffolk County police department, Jones Beach, the Shoreham Nuclear Power Plant, and Lynbrook’s own Sanibel Chophouse.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. The third time’s the charm.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I’ve made a lot of pot shots against him through the season, but Glanzer really has done an amazing job leading the Elves to the finals. Of course, should they pull off the upset, that also means an entire offseason of listening to him gloat.
Watchability: 5 Chadwicks. Hopefully, this game will be as dramatic as the Elves-Sky Fighters semifinal.
Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part II)
Thursday, October 21st, 2010Rob Knows His Team Has Two Wins To Go
#8 Happy Little Elves (10-5-0-3) at #7 Sky Fighters (11-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 2-2
2010 Result: Week 16 – Happy Little Elves 3, Sky Fighters 2; Week 18 – Sky Fighters 6, Happy Little Elves 1
Game Notes: After splitting their first two games, these Hackett Division rivals will play their rubber match in the semifinals. In their first game, the Happy Little Elves unveiled their new “Elves Team Defense Initiative,” designed to improve what was then the worst defense in the league. The strategy worked, as the Elves held the Sky Fighters to just two goals and won the game 3-2. League scoring co-champion Trevor Beauclair scored twice for the Elves in the victory. Beauclair also had a goal in these teams’ Week 18 contest, but alas, that was the only offense for the Elves that day. The Sky Fighters blitzed the porous Elves defense for six goals, including a hat trick by defender Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka, who did not play in the first matchup. In spite of this setback, the Elves’ defense has been a little more passable during the playoffs. After nearly blowing a big lead against La Famiglia in the round of 16, the Elves stiffened up against Donohue Division champion Fresh Kills with a solid 3-2 overtime victory. The Sky Fighters have been even more impressive in their two playoff wins, a 2-1 victory over the Fairy Tale Cup champion Dark Rainbows and a 4-0 shutout against the MacNeil Division champion Tompkins Square Riots. As the defending champions strive to win their seventh straight playoff game en route to a second title, the Elves’ defense will need their best effort of the season to advance to the championship game.
Keys To The Game For The Sky Fighters:
1. Because of his team’s tremendous offensive depth, goaltender James Stein is often overlooked. However, he has allowed just one goal in two playoff games and contributed to the Sky Fighters’ third ranked defense in the regular season.
2. The Sky Fighters were proud to welcome Robert Kucera back into their lineup last week after he missed several games with an unspecified upper body injury. His presence was felt immediately, as he tallied two goals in their quarterfinal win.
3. Forward David Cernan does not like to play defense (how very Elf-like of him!), sometimes to the extent that he will refuse to cross mid-court into the Sky Fighters’ defensive zone. Regardless, this gambit paid off last week, as he notched his first goal of the playoffs.
Keys To The Game For The Happy Little Elves:
1. Believe it or not, the Elves actually owe much of their success to the gameplanning abilities of co-captain Rich Glanzer. Although he is often a tad sluggish on defense, his strategies, including opportunistic water breaks and timeouts, have led to several of the team’s biggest moments. However, there has yet to be a strategy that has been as successful and effective as that of Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka.
2. In addition to being the team’s (and the league’s) leading scorer, rookie all-star Trevor Beauclair has also been one of the Elves’ most clutch performers. His game-winning goal in overtime against Fresh Kills sent the Elves to the semifinals.
3. Although Beauclair steals most of the spotlight, the Elves’ brunette rookie Ryan Nakahara has also been integral to the team’s success. He scored seven goals during the regular season, and his game-tying heroics forced overtime in last week’s quarterfinal.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I’m hoping to pick their game incorrectly for the third straight week.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. I’m hoping to pick the Elves’ game correctly for the third straight week.
Watchability: 4.5 Long Island Loudmouths
Playoff Preview: Semifinals (Part I)
Tuesday, October 19th, 2010Josh Isn’t So Sure About This “Butchers’ Bandwagon”
#18 Butchers (7-8-0-4) at #5 Corlears Hookers (13-4)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
2010 Result: Did Not Play
Game Notes: For the fourth straight season, the Corlears Hookers have advanced to the semifinals. After cruising through their round of 16 matchup, an 8-3 win over Cobra Kai, the Hookers faced a stiffer test against Filthy Gorgeous in the quarterfinals. The Hookers came out strong and jumped to an early 4-0 lead on the strength of Jason Eitel’s two goals. However, as the shallow bench began to fatigue, Filthy took advantage and rallied in the second half to chip away at the seemingly insurmountable lead. Although Filthy ultimately tied the game to force overtime, the Hookers discovered a second wind, and mid-season addition Tiffany Hagge clinched a trip to the semifinals with the game-winning goal. The Butchers have been the surprise team of the playoffs and have knocked off the top two seeds in consecutive weeks. Two weeks ago, they stunned the Hackett Division champion Rehabs with a thrilling shootout victory and advanced to the quarterfinals to take on the regular season champion Denim Demons. With ardent support from a clearly partisan crowd, the Butchers pulled another rabbit out of their hat and shutout the top seed, 2-0. Co-captain Ben Bloom scored the game-winning goal, his third of the playoffs. With the Butchers expected to have the full support of the Tompkins crowd, can they knock off the top remaining seed once again?
Keys To The Game For The Corlears Hookers:
1. After receiving heavy criticism from the media for his lack of passing, Hookers forward Jason Eitel received a stern lecture from his mother, “Mrs. Eitel,” on the virtues of sharing, as she did not raise her son to be a selfish ball hog. Although the stat remains unofficial, Eitel claims he had two assists in last week’s win.
2. Goaltender Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson allowed an uncharacteristic four goals in the second half of the Hookers’ quarterfinal matchup. After giving up seven goals in two playoff games, he will need to clamp down between the pipes for his team to make the championship.
3. Team scientist Joshua “Doc” Sadlier-Brown has once again been experimenting with his time machine. In his newest adventure, Doc has gone back to 2007 and 2008 to reverse the outcome of the BTSH championship games. As a result, he now claims that the Hookers have actually won both. Will the Butchers be intimidated by the (now) two-time champions?
Keys To The Game For The Butchers:
1. All-star goalie Eric Ramirez notched his second shutout of the playoffs last Sunday. He has allowed just two goals in the Butchers’ three playoff wins and another stellar effort is critical to their chances.
2. Defenders “The Charismatic Enigma” Arthur Revechkis and Arnold Sanchez were assigned the difficult task of shadowing the Demons’ top scorers last week. Their contributions were crucial in shutting down Zack Tinkelman, Mike Pereira, and the rest of the league’s third ranked offense.
3. In what has become a tradition, team goon Georgine “Mulva” Paulin has planned a series of wild activities to distract the Corlears Hookers the night before she plays them. She has already received positive RSVPs from Dan Thompson, Peter “Purple Rain” Putka, and Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney, as well as teammate Jeff “Hawk” Hawkins.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. The Butchers have made a nice run, but Olson returns to form and leads the Hookers to the championship game for the third time in four years.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. Although it is now chic to jump on the Butchers’ bandwagon, let’s not forget that Dutch Fever has been around for much longer.
Watchability: 4 Wingers
