Posts Tagged ‘Unicorns’
Week 2 Preview
Thursday, March 31st, 2011Julie Is The Jimmy Fallon Of BTSH Photos
GAME OF THE WEEK
Mega Touch (1-0) at Unicorns (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-4
Game Notes: Two teams with convincing wins last weekend face off in this Schumacher Conference battle. Mega Touch looked sharp against the Gouging Anklebiters during the Hockey Night in Tompkins regional telecast, rolling to a 5-1 victory. New addition Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta scored 30 seconds into the game, and his team never looked back. Bratta finished with three goals and two assists, as he and his linemates Harvey Jaswal and Julie Katz dominated play and were on for all of the team’s goals. This “Matzo-Masala-Marinara” line has invigorated Mega Touch and given the team high hopes for the remainder of the season. The Unicorns also impressed in their playoff rematch against the Tompkins Square Riots. The offense tallied six goals, led by Joe’s hat trick, while goalie Craig “Ug” LaCombe and the Uni’s defense shut out the normally potent Riots attack. LaCombe gives most of the credit to his defenders, noting that only a handful of good shots got through to him. Will Mega’s Matzo-Masala-Marinara line be able to break through this wall or will LaCombe and the Unicorns defense stifle another opponent?
Keys To The Game:
1. This is Mega Touch’s first ever Game of the Week. Although captain Julie Katz is extremely eager to participate in the featured matchup, captain Eric Devlin is less enthusiastic. How will the team handle the pressure of the big stage?
2. Unicorns rookie Luke tallied a goal during his team’s big win last Sunday. He is just one of many offseason acquisitions that the Unicorns will rely on throughout the season.
3. As intense talks over the direction of the goaltenders’ union continue to heat up, this game will feature two of the principals of these discussions. Mega Touch’s Mike Tuckman has vehemently opposed the creation of the union calling it “stupid and pointless.” LaCombe, on the other hand, inexplicably seems to think the union’s founders Peter Lang and $howT!m3 may have been on to something…which would be a first.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns. This game will likely mimic the above photo.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns. Mega Touch has clearly improved, but the Unicorns still have a little more talent right now.
Watchability: 3.5 Devlins. Eric’s been clamoring to have the watchability scale named after him for a while now.
Season Preview: Unicorns
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011Can The Unicorns Recapture The Fairy Tale Cup?
Color: Yellow
Year Founded: 2001
2010 Regular Season Finish: 7-8-0-1 (5th, Hackett Division; 14th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Tompkins Square Riots in round of 16
Conference: Schumacher
Division: Donohue
2010 Leading Scorer: Joe, 10 goals
Team Song: Wiz Khalifa – Black and Yellow
Key Additions: Luke (free agency), Rod (free agency)
Key Losses: Sarah
Week 3 Preview
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010The Media Is Always Watching You
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (1-0-0-1) at Unicorns (2-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: Both the Happy Little Elves and the Unicorns teams enter this critical Fairy Tale Cup contest coming off of impressive wins. Last Sunday, the Elves stunned the Corlears Hookers 7-4 to open their five-game road trip. “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick led his team by example with two second-half goals, while Rich Glanzer made the smart coaching decision not to play himself for the second straight week. Meanwhile, the Unicorns knocked off the defending champion Sky Fighters in a hard-fought 4-3 victory. After shutting out the Dark Rainbows on opening day, goaltender Craig “Ug” LaCombe played spectacularly once again and fended off a barrage of shots (mostly from Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka) to preserve the win. With both the Elves and Unicorns looking sharp early on, this game will not only be key in deciding the Fairy Tale Cup, but also the Hackett Division.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Elves have had a propensity for late game heroics this season, as a last minute goal by Garrett “Ax” Carrino salvaged a point against the Rehabs, and five second half goals (including the two by Chadwick) flipped a 3-2 deficit into the win against the Hookers.
2. Unicorns free agent acquisition Joe has scored a goal in each of his team’s first two games. He is stepping in well to fill the shoes of key losses Nelson and “Biff” (Ted).
3. The Elves defeated the Unicorns last season, prompting Rich Glanzer and “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick to believe that they had won the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup. However, the win actually forced a three-way tie in the series, ironically allowing the Unicorns to maintain possession. Glanzer still does not understand this concept.
Eli’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. Sorry, Rich.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. I’ve heard rumors that Chris “Crush” O’Neil will be back for this week, making the Elves even more dangerous.
Watchability: 4 Clavicles
Season Preview: Unicorns
Saturday, March 27th, 2010Do You Believe In Unicorns?
Color: Yellow
Year Founded: 2001
2009 Regular Season Finish: 10-11 (10th place)
2009 Playoff Result: Lost to Sky Fighters in first round
2009 Leading Scorer: Chris, 13 goals
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
Home Arena: Yellow Forum
Key Additions: None
Key Losses: Victoria (Sabbatical), Nelson (unknown), Ted “Biff” (1955)
Week 22 Preview
Thursday, October 1st, 2009We Just Used Up Our One Good Unicorns Photo
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (10-9) vs. Sky Fighters (13-7)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 5-3-1
Game Notes: The Sky Fighters enter their matchup with the Unicorns playing some of their best hockey of the season. They have won five of their last six games, including victories over the Corlears Hookers and Filthy Goregous. It comes as no suprise that Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka has led the team with six goals during this span, bringing his total to 20 for the season. Unlike the Sky Fighters, the Unicorns enter this game on a bit of a skid. They have lost their last two contests to LBS, Inc. and Mega Touch, scoring just one goal in each game. In fact, their offense has scored only 37 goals on the season, ranking it 17th in BTSH. However, their defense and goaltending have been solid enough throughout the year to keep nearly all of the team’s games close. The Unicorns have already taken down What The Puck and the Corlears Hookers, and they will look to add the Sky Fighters to this list of impressive victims.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Sky Fighters are currently ranked seventh, but a win could move them as high as fifth. However, a loss could drop them to eighth.
2. The Unicorns are currently ranked ninth and cannot improve their seeding, even with wins in this game and their earlier matchup against the Denim Demons. However, they can fall as low as the 11th seed.
3. The Unicorns’ Susannah currently has three goals on the season, which is two more than Rich Glanzer of the Happy Little Elves. Unless something dramatic happens, it appears she will win the right to call herself the “bigger fairy”, as per the terms of an extremely stupid mid-season bet between the two.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Ironically, a win here could result in them playing the Unicorns again in the opening round of the playoffs.
Derek’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Even with this win, the Sky Fighters would fall a little short of captain Dan Hopper’s pre-season prediction for a record of 21 wins and -4 losses.
Watchability: 3.5 Cejkas
