Posts Tagged ‘vault’
From The Vault
Sunday, May 1st, 2016Emeritus Note: Unfortunately, the Week 5 games were postponed due to “rain fears”. Seven years ago, the Week 5 games suffered the same fate, but Derek and I decided to forge ahead and post box scores anyway. This post was originally published on May 4, 2009.
Filthy Gorgeous Doubles Up The Unicorns
Filthy Gorgeous 4, Unicorns 2
Filthy Gorgeous: “Gentleman” James Pereira 2 (9), Sunny Mehra (7), Matt Workman (2)
Unicorns: Chris (5), Nelson (2)
Game Notes: Pereira broke a 2-2 tie with seven minutes remaining in regulation.
Cobra Kai 3, Corlears Hookers 2
Cobra Kai: Rem “Canadian Strongman” Garavito (2), Brian “The Flashlight” Morrison (1), Christina “Mojito” Verigan (1)
Corlears Hookers: Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney (4), Peter “Purple Rain” Putka (4)
Game Notes: Although the Corlears Hookers only had four players including their goalie in attendance, they opted to bench Albert “Al” Huang for the duration of the game.
Happy Little Elves 3, Mighty Squirrels 3 (OT-SO)
Happy Little Elves: Rob Muggeo (5), Demetri Adrahtas (1), Rob “Gnarls” Nitschke (1)
Mighty Squirrels: Jason “Cheek” Cheek (1), Tim “(S)crappy” Gray (1), Andrea “Vegetable Lasagna” Schloeder (1)
Shootout: Tied 1-1. Successful attempts by Jarome “Hornswoggle” Ramos (HLE) and Arthur “Lil Weezy” Revechkis (MSQ).
Game Notes: Gray scored the game-tying goal with one second left in regulation.
Denim Demons 7, Rehabs 5
Denim Demons: Peter “Ski” Oblamski 2 (4), Erik Cortes 2 (3), Molly Jacobs (2), S.B. (1), Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens (1)
Rehabs: Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman (7), Stacy Kehoe (4), Paul “Ashy Larry” Vernon (4), Sharif “The Chocolate Buzzsaw” Corinaldi (2), Juan “d@ $hoW” Garcia (1)
Mega Touch 0, What The Puck -1
What The Puck: Ant “Father Time” Ventolieri -1 (-1)
Shutout: Roderick “Guy LeDouche” Cruz (2)
Sky Fighters 10, Mexican Standoff 0
Sky Fighters: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka 9 (16), Amy Lott (1)
Shutout: Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka (1)
Game Notes: Lott scored the game-winning goal two minutes into the game, with the assist credited to Cejka.
Dark Rainbows 14, Gouging Anklebiters 11
Dark Rainbows: Trevor “White Jesus” Tyrrell 4 (7), John Nielsen 3 (5), P.T. Walkley 2 (3), Josh Wilson 2 (3), Sean Reynolds (3), Dan “Danny Abs” Abdo (1), Jennie Brown (1), Lindsey Foehrenbach (1)
Gouging Anklebiters: Nestor “Marmaduke” Nonato 3 (4), Peter “Geech” Prohaska 2 (3), Charles DeFranco (5), Phil “Sandy” Donohue (3), Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri (2), Amy Kovner (1), Caroline Morrissey-Bickerton (1), Zach “Cryme Tyme” Weiner (1)
Game Notes: Dark Rainbows played the entire game without a goalie. Gouging Anklebiters pulled their goalie, Alex Owen, after he allowed his tenth goal of the day.
LBS, Inc. 35, Tuques 28
LBS, Inc.: “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin, 30 yard pass from Karsten Pichon (Seth Wachtell kick is good), LBS 7, TUQ 0
Tuques: Bill Monahan, 45 yard field goal, LBS 7, TUQ 3
LBS, Inc.: Seth Wachtell, 23 yard field goal, LBS 10, TUQ 3
Tuques: The Peter Wilson, 85 yard punt return (Bill Monahan kick is blocked), LBS 10, TUQ 9
LBS, Inc.: Sascha Puritz, 1 yard run (Seth Wachtell kick is good), LBS 17, TUQ 9
Tuques: Bill Monahan, 31 yard field goal, LBS 17, TUQ 12
Tuques: Karsten Pichon tackled in end zone by Lisa Harrington for a safety, LBS 17, TUQ 14
Tuques: Alfred Liu, 14 yard pass from David Ladanyi (Bill Monahan kick is good), LBS 17, TUQ 21
LBS, Inc.: Seth Wachtell, 52 yard field goal, LBS 20, TUQ 21
Tuques: Minkus, 102 yard interception return (Bill Monahan kick is good), LBS 20, TUQ 28
LBS, Inc.: Sam Anthony, 8 yard run (Fernando Limonic pass from Karsten Pichon), LBS 28, TUQ 28
LBS, Inc.: Brian “Grandmaster B” Barrett fumble recovery in end zone (Seth Wachtell kick is good), LBS 35, TUQ 28
Mathematics vs. Fresh Kills (Cancelled)
Game Notes: Game cancelled due to “rain fears”.
From The Vault
Saturday, March 26th, 2016Emeritus Note: The editorial staff is hard at work on the remaining division previews, but to tide you over until those are ready, we’re running a classic team preview. Here are our thoughts on LBS, Inc. prior to the start of the 2011 season. This post was originally published on March 22, 2011.
Meet LBS, Inc.’s New Security Manager
Courtesy: LBS, Inc. Office of Communications
Color: White
Year Founded: 2002
2010 Regular Season Finish: 8-7-0-1 (4th, Rubens Division; 11th overall)
2010 Playoff Result: Lost to Filthy Gorgeous in round of 16
Conference: Weyersberg
Division: Hackett
2010 Leading Scorer: Karsten Pichon, 16 goals
Team Song: Pet Shop Boys – Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)
New Hires: Lawrence Goldstein
Resignations: Alex Simon, Phil Yang
(more…)
From The Vault
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015Emeritus Note: On Sunday, the Happy Little Elves beat Mega Touch for their first victory of the season. To help celebrate such a momentous event, we decided to remind everyone of the last time the Elves ended a long regular season losing streak. This post was originally published on April 28, 2009.
The Elves’ Fan Base Is Growing
Elves Win! Elves Win! (Seriously)
After several weeks of near misses, the Happy Little Elves finally notched their first regular season win since April 13, 2008, a drought that stretched for 378 days. An early goal by forward Chris O’Neill set the tone immediately, as the Elves cruised to a 3-0 victory over the Unicorns. Goalie Ronald Bettenhauser turned aside every shot he faced, earning the first shutout in Elves history.
With this victory, the Elves continue their relative mastery against teams that have yellow as a uniform color base. They are now 2-1 overall against the Tuques and Unicorns, but 0-17-1-1 against all other teams. As captain Ben Chadwick looks to continue this run of success, he has begun to analyze what went right against the Unicorns. Ironically, he was shocked to discover that the absence of Ben Chadwick might have been the primary cause of their stellar play. As Chadwick is known for keeping a trim roster, it is unclear whether he will leave Chadwick in the lineup for this Sunday’s game.
Despite this win, the Elves did not gain possession of the prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup in 2009.