Posts Tagged ‘Weekly Previews’
Week 5 Preview
Thursday, April 28th, 2011Everyone Wants A Piece Of The Rainbows
GAME OF THE WEEK
LBS, Inc. (2-1-0-1) at Dark Rainbows (4-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 7-6-1
Game Notes: Two BTSH mainstays clash in this highly anticipated Hackett Division matchup. Despite tallying three goals in each of its first two games, LBS, Inc. started the season slowly, earning just one point during this stretch. However, the defense buckled down, and the Corporation rebounded with wins against Filthy Gorgeous and the Tompkins Square Riots. The offense has largely revolved around the Ken-Karsten-Karen line (Poulin, Pichon, and Erickson), which has produced eight of the team’s 13 goals. Although the line previously had a nickname, the Corporation’s public relations department quickly nixed it due to negative press. For the Dark Rainbows, their early season returns have been overwhelmingly positive. At 4-0, they are one of three teams with four wins and boast the third best goal differential in BTSH. The team currently sits in first place in the extremely competitive Hackett Division, bolstered by divisional wins against the Sky Fighters and Fresh Kills. LBS, Inc. will be the Rainbows’ third Hackett game of the season. Can they remain undefeated in the division and overall?
Keys To The Game:
1. LBS, Inc. new hire Lawrence Goldstein has made a good early impression on his bosses with three goals on the season. As veterans Ken and Karsten see their pensions continue to grow, the Corporation will look to his leadership in the upcoming fiscal years.
2. Goaltender John Meyer has been sparkling between the pipes for the Dark Rainbows, allowing just four goals in four games. He already has one shutout on the season, and his steady performance has allowed captain Sean Reynolds to successfully implement his “run and chase” style of offense.
3. Reynolds recently made a shrewd mid-season pickup with the acquisition of Luisa Mirarchi, formerly of Cobra Kai. In addition to boosting his own team, Reynolds infuriated fellow Hackett Division captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer of What The Puck. Zimmer, who has always prided himself on being a step ahead of his peers, was busy scouting Rehabs defender Meredith Danberg-Ficarelli to bolster his blue line.
Eli’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. May Day is John Nielsen’s favorite holiday.
Derek’s Pick: Dark Rainbows. This win would officially propel the Rainbows back into BTSH’s elite.
Watchability: 4 Rudds. Both teams are playing great hockey right now, and divisional pride is at stake.
Week 4 Preview
Thursday, April 14th, 2011Poutine Machine Is Sitting Pretty
GAME OF THE WEEK
Poutine Machine (2-0-1) at What The Puck (2-0-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: After a stunning win against the Denim Demons last week, Poutine Machine is looking to shock the league once again as the team prepares for its matchup against What The Puck. Although Poutine entered last week’s game against last season’s Prince of Weyersberg Cup champions as heavy underdogs, the team buckled down on defense and produced a 1-0 win. Defenseman Kevin MacDonald scored the lone goal late in the game, and goalie Tim Brown turned aside every Demons shot to preserve the victory. However, Brown and the Poutine defense will have their hands full once again this week against the offensive depth of Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer’s Orange Juggernaut. After losing their opening game to Fresh Kills in a shootout, What The Puck has performed as expected, producing quality wins against Gut Rot and the defending champion Happy Little Elves. After a brief adjustment period, it seems as though Mad Dog’s offseason acquisitions have become acclimated to their new team’s style of play. With What The Puck’s offense finally clicking, Brown will have to turn in another stellar performance for Poutine Machine to win.
Keys To The Game:
1. Rookie forward Ashish Nagpal leads Poutine Machine with two goals. He has already done an outstanding job in helping to fill the very big void left by the departure of “Double J” Jeff Jewett.
2. What The Puck’s Hartman brothers, Darrell and Oliver, each have two goals on the season. They are a critical part of What The Puck’s extremely balanced offense, which ranks third in BTSH.
3. Distant cousins Kevin MacDonald of Poutine Machine and What The Puck’s grizzled veteran Tom MacDonald have already had a budding rivalry since the MacDonald family reunion of 2003. Tom has always taken offense to Kevin’s insistence that the Toronto Blue Jays are superior to the Montreal Expos.
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Forward Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth thinks poutine is delicious.
Derek’s Pick: Poutine Machine. I promised Jo-Ann I’d pick them if they beat the Demons last week. So.
Watchability: 4 Therriaults. This should be a true test to see if What The Puck is as good as everyone thinks, or if Poutine is better than everyone assumed.
Week 3 Preview
Thursday, April 7th, 2011Everyone Loves The Whale!
GAME OF THE WEEK
Cobra Kai (1-0-1) at Mathematics (1-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:30 PM
All-Time Series: Mathematics lead 6-2
Game Notes: The once intense rivalry between Cobra Kai and the Mathematics has lost most of its luster over the past few seasons. With heavy turnover on both squads and the two teams sent packing to different divisions, their lone battle last season (a 4-3 OT win by the Dojo) seemed more like a formality of the schedule than a legitimate grudge match. However, with Cobra Kai and the Mathematics each making a strong push in the first couple of weeks of 2011, this feud may be ready for a resurrection. Although Cobra Kai could only muster a 1-1 tie against their Donohue Division foe, La Famiglia, on Opening Day, the team stunned the Rehabs 2-1 last week. Perhaps most notable about these two wins is the team’s vast improvement in defense in holding both opponents to just a goal. Last year, the team surrendered 56 goals during the regular season, which was third most in BTSH. The Mathematics also opened the season with a dissatisfying draw, 1-1 against Poutine Machine. However, like the Dojo, Math rebounded in Week 2 with an impressive 4-1 win against the Butchers. As Cobra Kai and the Mathematics both look to stay undefeated, which team will continue its upward trend, and which will come crashing back to Earth?
Keys To The Game:
1. Cobra Kai goalie Peter Lang has allowed one goal in each of his team’s first two games. However, the offense has only scored three goals. Until the offense steps up, Lang will need to maintain his stellar play.
2. The Mathematics’ injury-waiting-to-happen Bradley Schmidt has scored three goals in the team’s first two games, all in the second half. The team will once again rely on a clutch performance from him late in the game.
3. The anonymous Mathematics general manager has already warned the team to keep an eye out for Cobra Kai’s resident pie expert, Anita Khar. He stated in an e-mail to the team, “Anita can be a very dangerous scorer, so we have to keep her covered at all times. Of course, I’m much better than she is at ‘skeet ball.'”
Watchability: 4 Smiths. Rich Glanzer is very happy about this rating scale.
Week 2 Preview
Thursday, March 31st, 2011Julie Is The Jimmy Fallon Of BTSH Photos
GAME OF THE WEEK
Mega Touch (1-0) at Unicorns (1-0)
Location: Tompkins East, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Unicorns lead 9-4
Game Notes: Two teams with convincing wins last weekend face off in this Schumacher Conference battle. Mega Touch looked sharp against the Gouging Anklebiters during the Hockey Night in Tompkins regional telecast, rolling to a 5-1 victory. New addition Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta scored 30 seconds into the game, and his team never looked back. Bratta finished with three goals and two assists, as he and his linemates Harvey Jaswal and Julie Katz dominated play and were on for all of the team’s goals. This “Matzo-Masala-Marinara” line has invigorated Mega Touch and given the team high hopes for the remainder of the season. The Unicorns also impressed in their playoff rematch against the Tompkins Square Riots. The offense tallied six goals, led by Joe’s hat trick, while goalie Craig “Ug” LaCombe and the Uni’s defense shut out the normally potent Riots attack. LaCombe gives most of the credit to his defenders, noting that only a handful of good shots got through to him. Will Mega’s Matzo-Masala-Marinara line be able to break through this wall or will LaCombe and the Unicorns defense stifle another opponent?
Keys To The Game:
1. This is Mega Touch’s first ever Game of the Week. Although captain Julie Katz is extremely eager to participate in the featured matchup, captain Eric Devlin is less enthusiastic. How will the team handle the pressure of the big stage?
2. Unicorns rookie Luke tallied a goal during his team’s big win last Sunday. He is just one of many offseason acquisitions that the Unicorns will rely on throughout the season.
3. As intense talks over the direction of the goaltenders’ union continue to heat up, this game will feature two of the principals of these discussions. Mega Touch’s Mike Tuckman has vehemently opposed the creation of the union calling it “stupid and pointless.” LaCombe, on the other hand, inexplicably seems to think the union’s founders Peter Lang and $howT!m3 may have been on to something…which would be a first.
Eli’s Pick: Unicorns. This game will likely mimic the above photo.
Derek’s Pick: Unicorns. Mega Touch has clearly improved, but the Unicorns still have a little more talent right now.
Watchability: 3.5 Devlins. Eric’s been clamoring to have the watchability scale named after him for a while now.
Week 1 Preview
Thursday, March 24th, 2011The Elves Are Set To Defend The Cup
GAME OF THE WEEK
Corlears Hookers at Happy Little Elves
Location: Tompkins West, 3:30 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 3-2
Game Notes: As has become tradition in BTSH, the two championship game participants will square off in a Week 1 rematch. This year, the Happy Little Elves enter as the defending champions, while–as has become another tradition–the Corlears Hookers enter as the runner-up. Little has changed on the Elves’ roster during the offseason, as their leading scorers Trevor Beauclair and Gil Valdez are both returning. The team may appear a little faster this season, however, as team anchor Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri has moved to Oklahoma City. Team captain Rich Glanzer has been appointed by team captain “The Chairman” Ben Chadwick as the new team anchor. Like the Elves, the Corlears Hookers also had few significant losses. In addition, the team is thrilled to welcome back two former superstars in Jock Paul and Noelle “Slapshot” Safar. The presence of these two players was sorely missed during the championship game, as the duo has been known to strike fear into the hearts of even the calmest of goaltenders. League Nostradamus Rich Glanzer has projected that these two teams are the favorites to win the championship at the end of the season. Although we are literally months away from the playoffs, both teams would certainly like to energize their season with a key win on Opening Day.
Keys To The Game:
1. Elves brunette sophomore Ryan Nakahara tallied two goals in last season’s championship, giving him four for the playoffs. The Elves will once again need him to come through in the clutch if they wish to win this game.
2. After missing several games last season, Hookers forward and co-captain Jason Eitel has vowed to have perfect attendance in 2011. He has also vowed to pass a lot more, but the media do not believe either of these promises.
3. In the above photo, Glanzer is seen sporting a New York Jets t-shirt and a Buffalo Bills cap. This Sunday, in another show of split loyalties and potential confusion, he plans to wear a Corlears Hookers cap in addition to his usual lime green Elves jersey.
Eli’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. They are undefeated (4-0) on Opening Day.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. The team is eager to prove that last year’s playoff run and championship were not flukes.
Watchability: 4.5 deLacys. If this game were later in the season with a little more riding on it, it could be a 5. For now, however, it should just be a very competitive game.
