Posts Tagged ‘Weekly Previews’
Week 18 Preview
Thursday, September 23rd, 2010At Least It’s Not The Feldman Division
GAME OF THE WEEK
Dark Rainbows (8-5-0-2) at Rehabs (9-5-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Dark Rainbows lead 5-4
Game Notes: Two teams in contention for the Hackett Division crown face off for the first time this year on the final Sunday of the regular season. After leading the division for the last few months, the Dark Rainbows now find themselves in third behind the Rehabs and Happy Little Elves. However, a Dark Rainbows win and a Happy Little Elves loss or tie is all the Rainbows need to claim the division. The Rehabs, on the other hand, have the benefit of being in control of their own destiny. If they defeat the Rainbows, they win the division. In addition, if they tie and the Happy Little Elves lose or tie, they would still win the division. Of course, regardless of the exact order of finish within the Hackett Division, the Dark Rainbows, Rehabs, and Happy Little Elves should all enter the playoffs with a fairly high seed.
Keys To The Game:
1. Dark Rainbows captain Sean Reynolds has already assigned teammate John Nielsen with the task of adding an extension to the Rainbows’ trophy case. Reynolds has noted that he fully expects it to house the Hackett Division trophy as well as the Fairy Tale Cup and 2007 championship trophy following this game.
2. The Rehabs recent five-game winning streak has coincided with the addition of explosive newcomer Brock Bosacker. He has already chipped in six goals in his short time with the team, and is reminiscent of a young Adam Skuse in 2009.
3. Due to “rain fears,” the first meeting of the season between these teams was canceled. Their last meeting was in Week 20 of the 2009 season, when the Rehabs defeated the Dark Rainbows 6-3. “The All-American Canadian” Adam Skuse tallied a hat trick in that game.
Eli’s Pick: Rehabs. This result will save all of us from a deluge of potential Elves gloating.
Derek’s Pick: Rehabs. The division trophy presentation is tentatively scheduled to take place at Anita Khar’s beach house on the Connecticut shoreline.
Watchability: 4.5 Meyers. The Elves will be watching this one intently.
Week 17 Preview
Thursday, September 16th, 2010Dave Hopes To Lead Fresh Kills To New Heights
GAME OF THE WEEK
Fresh Kills (8-4-0-2) at Tompkins Square Riots (7-6-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 1:00 PM
All-Time Series: First Meeting
Game Notes: Division leaders collide this Sunday as former teammates clash for the first time. Fresh Kills currently holds a four point lead in the Donohue Division, despite losing three of its past four games. The Tompkins Square Riots sit just one point ahead of the Mathematics in the MacNeil Division and snapped a three-game losing streak in their last contest with a convincing 7-2 win against Cobra Kai. However, this game’s allure extends way beyond the standings. Several members of the Riots once proudly wore the Fresh Kills colors, but defected to form their own team this past offseason. Although tensions were initially a little high following this schism, relations between these two teams are much more cordial now. For example, Bob “Olmec” Weyersberg of the Riots recently gave Fresh Kills rookie Justin Ross a free lesson on shooting techniques. In return, Fresh Kills’ Nick Hobbs helped Scott Townsend of the Riots glue a new blade into his hockey stick. Former Fresh Kills captain Kevin “The Planet” Foster summarizes, “There is no animosity. We’re all just sensitive people.”
Keys To The Game:
1. With two games to play, Fresh Kills needs to earn just one more point in the standings to clinch the Donohue Division and #3 seed in the playoffs. Or, the team can also back into the division title if Cobra Kai loses either of its last two games.
2. Alexandre Frenette leads the Riots, and also the entire Schumacher Conference, with 11 goals. His scoring has come in bunches, as he has recorded three multi-goal games, including two hat tricks.
3. No one is quite sure when it happened, but something has been wrong with Justin Ross’ shooting technique lately.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills. If they clinch the division here, they avoid a potential winner-take-all game with Cobra Kai next Sunday.
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills. They’re supposedly the more competitive ones…
Watchability:4 DeBlasios. Former Fresh Kills captain “Hollywood” Jeff Lesser has no idea whom to root for, as he has friends on both teams. However, this may be a moot point, as he will probably be hanging out with A-listers while these teams play anyway.
Week 16 Preview
Thursday, August 26th, 2010Chris Doesn’t Like Being Touched
GAME OF THE WEEK
Happy Little Elves (6-4-0-3) at Sky Fighters (7-5-0-1)
Location: Tompkins East, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 1-1
Game Notes: With only a point separating first from fourth in the Hackett Division standings, tensions will be high in Saturday’s clash between the Happy Little Elves and Sky Fighters. Although the Elves have performed decently this season and are still in a good position to win the division, co-captain Rich Glanzer believes the team is still playing well below its potential. The Elves currently boast the most goals on the season, but they have also allowed the most. Thus, after months of in-depth analysis, film study, and computer simulations, Glanzer has concluded, “I’ve determined that it’s our team defense that has been the problem…So I’ve created what I am calling, ‘The Elves Team Defense Initiative!!'” To help the league understand this complex project, Glanzer has provided this primitive sketch of his plan. He adds, “From now on, I’ve instructed all Elves to play better defensively, and stop giving up scoring chances. I’ve also instructed our goalie not to let the puck in as much.” After viewing Glanzer’s diagram, Sky Fighters captain Dan Hopper seemed unconcerned about this initiative. Hopper commented, “According to the sketch, it seems like the Elves want to have six players on the court. Last I checked, that was still illegal in BTSH.” Hopper also wanted to remind the league of the “Sky Fighters Defensive Initiative,” which is simply Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka playing defense for 50 minutes.
Keys To The Game:
1. While Glanzer’s artistic skills are limited, his coaching abilities should not be underrated. When these teams last met in Week 19 of the 2009 season, Glanzer called a late timeout with the score tied. During this break, he diagrammed the game-winning play, which not only clinched the Elves victory, but also preserved his place in the Survivor Pool.
2. Since the media uncovered Martin “Ocho Cinco” Cejka’s secret play for the Sky Fighters in 2008, a curse has befallen each of his teammates in the diagram. Four separate incidents have caused Samantha Lee, Amy Lott, Chris “Big Sexy” Shumaker, and James Townsend-Butterworth to leave the team, leaving Cejka as the only player who is still on the team. Thus, it may be only a matter of time before the Czech superstar is forced to leave for one reason or another.
3. With the Elves’ talented, yet sluggish, defender Eric “El Guapo” DiPierri expected to miss this week’s game due to a broomball tournament, it will be up to the hobbled Glanzer to bring down the average speed of the team.
Eli’s Pick: Sky Fighters. Dan Hopper’s strategy actually works.
Derek’s Pick: Happy Little Elves. Maybe the refs won’t notice the extra player.
Watchability: 4 Barnacles. With the Dark Rainbows facing a very hot LBS, Inc., the winner of this game could be the division leader at the end of the day.
Week 15 Preview
Thursday, August 19th, 2010Sascha Is Thrilled To Renew Acquaintances With The Demons
GAME OF THE WEEK
Denim Demons (12-1) at LBS, Inc. (6-6-0-1)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: LBS, Inc. leads 9-1-1
Game Notes: Two of the hottest teams in BTSH collide in this Rubens Division battle. The Denim Demons have won their last 10 games, dating back to their only loss of the season in Week 4. They have allowed the fewest goals in the league due to the stellar play of all-star goalie Aaron “Coach” Pagdon and a nearly impenetrable defense. In addition, the team boasts two of the league’s top 10 scorers in Zack Tinkelman (16) and Mike Pereira (12). LBS, Inc. has also looked impressive in recent weeks. The Corporation has won three games in a row and is back at .500 for the first time since Opening Day. The offense has been en fuego over this stretch with 19 goals, bumping the team to a tie for second in scoring. LBS, Inc. also has two players in the league’s top 10 in Karsten Pichon (14) and “The Alpha Male” Ken Poulin (14). With the first game between these divisional opponents canceled due to “rain fears,” both teams will be looking to make a statement in their only meeting of the 2010 season.
Keys To The Game:
1. Depending on the outcome of the Sky Fighters/Corlears Hookers game at 1:00, the Demons may have the opportunity to clinch the Rubens Division in this game. The chance to win a second straight division title and secure the top seed in the playoffs should provide the Demons with plenty of motivation.
2. LBS, Inc. captain Sascha Puritz is clearly well-prepared and excited for the Corporation’s first game of the week of 2010. She noted, “We have hockey on Sunday? I thought it was a bye week.” She continued with several expletives upon learning that her opponent would be the Demons.
3. Although the Denim Demons have torn through BTSH this season, they have historically struggled against LBS, Inc. They have won just once in 11 meetings with the Corporation, which includes last season’s 3-2 loss in Week 22.
Eli’s Pick: LBS, Inc. The Corporation’s mastery continues.
Derek’s Pick: Denim Demons. With the potential to clinch the division title and four players involved in the All-Star Game, this could be a banner day for the Demons.
Watchability: 4.5 Poulins. Two high-scoring offenses on hot streaks should make for a very exciting contest.
Week 14 Preview
Thursday, August 5th, 2010Who Farted?
GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (8-3-0-1) at Corlears Hookers (8-3)
Location: Corlears South, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Corlears Hookers lead 6-0
Game Notes: Filthy Gorgeous has never beaten the Corlears Hookers. These Rubens Division rivals last met in Week 5 when the Hookers edged Filthy 3-2. Although the game was tied deep into the second half, Corlears Hookers leading scorer Gavin “Dutch’s Brother” Kearney notched a late game-winning goal to continue his team’s dominance in this series. Despite this loss, Filthy Gorgeous persevered, going 6-0-0-1 in its next seven games. However, this streak ended last week, when the Dark Rainbows handed Filthy a 3-2 loss. The Hookers, on the other hand, enter this game on a modest three-game winning streak in which they have outscored their opponents 14-5. The team is looking forward to returning to its namesake park to clash with an old rival.
Keys To The Game:
1. With Filthy Gorgeous listed as the road team for this matchup, the team may be forced to wear its alternate jerseys. However, instead of donning their usual beige V-necks, team members have expressed strong interest in sporting Filthy’s electric lime green throwbacks as part of the league’s farewell to Corlears Hook Park.
2. Corlears Hookers goalie Dustin “Fake Dutch’s Brother” Olson is clearly amped for this game. He has volunteered this lengthy video featuring his analysis of Filthy’s strengths and possible conflicts of interest.
3. In response to Filthy Gorgeous’ recent addition of a third Pereira brother, John “Scooter” Pereira, the Corlears Hookers have added a third Kearney. This week, Brendan and Gavin’s eleven-year old brother, Stephen “Dutch’s Fake Other Brother” Kearney will make his debut for the Hookers.
Eli’s Pick: No pick. Eli will be reffing this game.
Derek’s Pick: Corlears Hookers. It’s tough to bet against this history.
Watchability: 4.5 Mangans. Only one point separates these adversaries in the standings.
